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When it comes to wrestling, WWE is the maestro of merchandise. The king of ka-ching. They've capitalized on all kinds of trends, whether they're right on time or four years too late, to get into the pockets of the WWE Universe.
Now, before you've read the list, I know you're going to ask. No, New Day's Booty O's and Unicorn Horns are not on this list. Can't buy them from WWE Shop anymore. Even if you could, they're not weird, they're awesome. Anything New Day does is certified money and anyone that says otherwise is a dork.
Still, there's some stuff that WWE produces that is a little hard to explain to folks who don't watch wrestling. Honestly, even if they do, you might still have a difficult time explaining why you bought some of this stuff. And that's coming from someone who bought the Useless Box.
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But I'm not here to explain my poor purchasing decisions. Let's take a look at some of the weirdest bits of merchandise you can still buy on the WWE shop.
#5. The Fiend's custom WWE Universal Championship
Whether or not you think The Fiend should have won one of WWE's most prized championships, it's hard to deny he's a merchandising goldmine. The mask, the puppets, all of it. Bray Wyatt, when it comes to characters, is a genius and is quite marketable in that aspect.
However, when the super evil demon clown decided he wanted to go after the Universal Championship, fans were skeptical. When he beat Seth Rollins for the title at WWE Crown Jewel in 2019, fans weren't sure how to feel. Sure, Wyatt deserved it. He's been one of the most entertaining acts in WWE for over half a decade.
However, why would The Fiend want it? It only got weirder when he presented a new version of the belt to the WWE Universe. Of all the characters to get a customized title, The Fiend's was probably the worst and most hideous. Yes, even worse than the spinner belt. To be fair, that was the point this time around, where as the spinner belt was a slap in the face of the wrestling gods.
Even stranger was the replica belt that WWE began selling soon after it arrived on television. You could buy the limited edition title for a low price of $6,500! Unlike most replica titles you can find on the WWE shop, these were hand crafted by horror legend Tom Savini. Savini is known for his special effects magic in films such as Friday the 13th, Dawn of the Dead, Creepshow and more.
Savini's been involved in the masks for The Fiend as well, both the initial one and the burned version seen leading up to WrestleMania 37. Still, with shipping and taxes, the belt would cost around $7,000.
Now, a year and a half later, the belt's price has been severely reduced. $429.99 will net you this title. If you're a horror fan or a big enough fan of The Fiend, that may be a better asking price.
I am both, so I'll be getting it now while it's on sale for $422.49. I said it was weird merch, I didn't say it wasn't awesome.
#4. Strowman Express Slippers
WWE...who were these for?
Braun Strowman was a major player for WWE for quite a while, so it came as a shock when he was released earlier this year. While Strowman may be gone from the company, his merch isn't as it's been moved to the clearance section.
If you're trying to find some of the Monster Among Men's stuff to nab at a cheap price, there's quite a bit left. However, one has to wonder who would ever want Braun Strowman branded slippers. Specifically the Strowman Express slippers.
Once Strowman began running out of the ring and plowing into the competition a few years ago, WWE knew that the big man had something special. Fans loved the spot and always got excited to see how far he could send superstars flying. WWE, though, couldn't leave well enough alone.
Dubbing it the Strowman Express, WWE added a train whistle to his theme music, steam as if a locomotive was passing by, and more. However, the worst bit was when they added that train whistle to Strowman's matches, as it would go off when he began bulldozing his opponents on the floor.
It was a universally hated decision, and WWE got rid of the whole idea soon after its debut. Still, if you want a constant reminder of one of the many reasons WWE ruined Braun Strowman as a character, you can place them on your feet for $9.99.
...In fairness, they do look comfy. Also, we miss you Braun.
#3. Former WWE Women's Champion Becky Lynch and her Garbage Pail Kids socks
Again, who are these for? Garbage Pail Kids? I know they're still technically...around, but they're not exactly popular. Then again, I collect nutcrackers and that's not, nor has it ever been popular. There's something for everyone.
If you don't know what Garbage Pail Kids are, they were made to parody the Cabbage Patch Kids. They're either incredibly gross or horrifying abominations. There's one that likes to slice pieces of itself off and fry them up as bacon, and another that is made of marshmallows and melts when near a fire.
Alright, now that those images are in your head, check these out.
Yep. Becky Lynch as a Garbage Pail Kid. Sorry, Breakin' Becky. Look, maybe it's just me. If you like the Garbage Pail Kids, fine. By all means, enjoy your weird little gross babies, but keep them away from me.
By the way, you're gonna think I'm a hypocrite when you go to slide three.
#2. Alexa Bliss's new friend: Lilly the Doll
WWE has jumped onto that Fiend train and isn't slowing down any time soon. We saw Bray Wyatt's demonic entity infect the mind of Alexa Bliss last summer, leading to a new side of The Goddess.
However, a strange twist occurred at Wrestlemania 37 when she turned on The Fiend, costing him his match against Randy Orton. Over the next few weeks, we saw Alexa Bliss introduce her "special" friend, Lilly. And folks, Lilly is uh...she's a sight to behold.
Lilly seems to be the one responsible for Alexa Bliss's newfound personality and powers all along. A pale toothy doll with overalls and rainbow pig tails, Lilly is something straight out of The Warren's house of haunted objects.
And ya know what? For $29.99, it's not a bad deal. I'll be honest, I can't wait for the next time someone new comes by my house and I've got to explain this.
It won't be easy.
#1. WWE goes crazy for the holidays: The Fiend On the Scene Bray Wyatt Holiday Plush
On the scene. Could this be WWE's alternative to Elf on the Shelf? I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT! Imagine, it's December 1st. The kids are all excited for one of the most magical months of the year. They wake up and get ready for school.
When they walk into the bathroom to brush their teeth, they see this unholy abomination gorged out on chestnuts that were roasted on an open fire? Better yet, this freaky hellspawn would probably have a fire going in the bathroom.
A whole month of Satan's special friend running around the house causing holiday havoc. Yeah, that sounds like a real laugh. WWE likes to go a little crazy around the holidays, but even this may go just a tad far. I love The Fiend as much as the next guy, but what were you thinking WWE?
Answer this, WWE. Who is this for?
....
Me, it's for me. I'll take three. I mean they're $4.19 at this point. I'm gonna plant these all over the house when my nephews come over. They can join Lilly.
Ex WWE writer blasts Liv Morgan HERE
