“May very well happen that I don’t get sleep at night after leaving cricket” – Nitish Rana pushes the envelope to reach his destination

“From the outside, our life seems pretty glamorous. But only we know how difficult it is.”

Nitish Rana’s face turns red, his voice glum. For context, he is talking about his dreams and aspirations, in an exclusive interview with Sportskeeda.

It’s been 831 days since he last played for India. 832 days since his T20I debut.

The world had endured a second wave of Covid-19 and made its way to July 2021. But people were still on the back foot – masks and sanitisers were dominating markets; commute was restricted to the bare minimum.

Hence, while India’s main squad travelled early to the UK for a five-Test series, the BCCI sent a second-string side for a white-ball tour of Sri Lanka. There were five ODI debutants and seven in the T20 format. Batter Nitish Rana and left-arm seamer Chetan Sakariya were common.

Of the 12 names, though, only four have represented India since that Covid-ravaged sojourn.

And once you have a piece of the cake, you start relishing it more. And if it’s kept away from you, the hunger intensifies. And if it’s kept away from you for longer, your stomach starts hurting. And what if you have done everything right to deserve another bite?

Nitish Rana became the country’s 90th representative in the shortest format. If we discount Sakariya and Sandeep Warrier – they also had their only taste of international cricket in Colombo – 18 more players have made their T20I debut for India.

Nitish Rana, on the other hand, hasn’t even made an extended squad since. At a time when India are sending one line-up to Ireland, one to the West Indies, also playing at home, and one even to China. By his own admission, the 29-year-old finds it baffling to not be a part of even a single overseas India A assignment. And he’s been around for 10 years now.

Has he done enough to stake a claim for a berth in the perennially overcrowded Indian T20I bogey?

Since becoming a regular in 2017, only seven Indians have scored more IPL runs than Nitish Rana’s 2490. Sanju Samson is above him and yet inexplicably sidelined. The tally is more than that of Rohit Sharma, Shreyas Iyer and Ishan Kishan. World No. 1 Suryakumar Yadav has amassed 250-odd extra.

For the record, among all these names, only Nitish offers a regular and decent part-time spin option. Post Covid, across four seasons, he has averaged 40.67 and struck at 143.70 in the Mushtaq Ali T20 tournament.

But if your hunger remains unsatiated for a prolonged period, you lose that hunger. Or, you can grow desperate. An excessive overthinker, Nitish Rana dreads his peace of mind might get disrupted forever if he doesn’t get to reunite with his estranged love.

He may be a typical Dilliwala from the outside. But he’s as much emotional and reflective. And he is out to reignite the fire in his belly. He decided to leave his home state Delhi and relocate to Uttar Pradesh. The southpaw reiterated that he desperately wanted to get out of his comfort zone in a bid to unearth his true potential.

Few items best taste, stale. Few victories taste sweeter. If this detour indeed helps Nitish Rana manage another bite at the cake (read: redemption, salvation, deserved spoils), he will definitely find a cherry on top.

Ahead of a fresh domestic season and a brand new chapter, Sportskeeda caught up with Nitish Rana and discussed at length about his Delhi memories, Gautam Gambhir the godfather, captaining KKR, layered disappointments, the way forward, and much more.

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Excerpts from Nitish Rana's exclusive interview with Sportskeeda:

Newly-appointed captain Nitish Rana addresses the media ahead of IPL 2023 [Credits: KKR]

Q. You mentioned in your parting message that you came to this decision with a lot of thought. What all did you consider and how did you come to this decision?

Nitish Rana: I thought this was the right time in my career to make this decision. It wasn’t like I was planning this for a long time; it was very sudden. I believe that change is very important in life. I was so deep in my comfort zone in the Delhi dressing room that I wanted to reignite the fire inside me. The hunger I had during my age-group days, when I had the drive to score runs and reach the top, I felt that I had to go back to that phase. Because I have this at the back of my mind, that I have to make a comeback after that Sri Lanka tour two years ago. So I wanted to get out of that comfort zone and mindset. I don’t think 400-450 runs in the IPL are enough for me and I’m making that for the past seven seasons. And since I have played just one series for India yet, I somewhere feel I have to score 600-plus runs. But that’s just for me.

Q. There will, of course, be a lot of disappointment and hurt. But I am sure there will be many fond and nostalgic memories too. What are those special moments for you with Delhi Cricket?

Nitish Rana: When I was playing Ranji Trophy for the first time, Gautam bhaiya was our captain and I was pretty nervous. There’s a hell and heaven difference between that dressing room and what it is now – there were so many senior players. And when I had entered that dressing room, I had lots of thoughts going in my head. But I knew for sure that, if I couldn’t learn anything from being among those names, I won’t be able to do anything in life. Scoring runs wasn’t my primary concern; I just wanted to learn and improve as a player. One crazy thing that happened was: Gautam bhaiya was captain in my first season, and I was captain when he was playing his last season. So if I have to talk about the Delhi dressing room, this would be one thing I’d never forget. Having said that, whatever level I have reached today, DDCA had a huge role to play. I left Delhi just because I wanted that change. But as such, there wasn’t any problem which was bothering me.

Q. Your first ever game for the senior Delhi side was the final of the 2012/13 Vijay Hazare Trophy. You were just 19 and became champions of the country. How did it feel that day?

Nitish Rana: That dressing room’s environment itself was champion-like. There were so many big players there and, me being a 19-year-old, I was just thinking of lifting that trophy. And I was so lucky that I got to play the final match, even though I couldn’t do much. So yeah, that dressing room was completely different to the one today. The times have changed and I was very lucky to have been a part of that dressing room, where people were hungry to score runs, where people gave their all for Delhi, where people used to represent India and help the country win World Cups.

Q. How big a role has Gautam Gambhir played in your life?

Nitish Rana: Whenever I face any problem with regards to cricket, I reach out to him. It can be related to batting; there have been many times when I was expecting my name and it didn’t come; there were moments when some national selector made a comment on me. For all these things, my go-to person is Gautam bhaiya. Because I know he won’t pacify me. He would never tell me, ‘Arey nahin, tu bohot tagda player hai. Tere saath galat hua hai.’ He’d always be like, ‘Kitne run banaye?’ He’d say if people aren’t selecting me after scoring 600-700 runs in the Ranji Trophy, then I have to score 1000 runs or beyond. Behind closed doors, I think why I’m not getting picked even after scoring runs. I tend to find faults in others and not in myself. So I speak to Gautam bhaiya to get into the mindset where I’d let only my bat do the talking, where I shouldn’t feel bad if I have not scored the requisite runs. He puts me from the zone where I shouldn’t be to the zone I actually should be in. Even Sanjay Bharadwaj sir, who was also Gautam bhaiya’s coach. He knows how to make me understand and, having dealt with Gautam bhaiya in his teenage years, he can correlate a lot of things.

Q. Your 2016/17 Mushtaq Ali didn’t go well, and you were dropped after just three matches in the Vijay Hazare. Rishabh Pant was the new captain and, just for comparison’s sake, you scored 10 runs in those first three games and he scored 13. Did you feel disappointed that you weren’t given a long rope?

Nitish Rana: I’ve always been told that a cricketer’s life is like a daily wage labourer’s. You have to score runs on a daily basis. I believe if my current form is poor, I wouldn’t mind being dropped, regardless of how many runs I have scored in the past. Nobody knows this story. In my first under-19 season, I made some 300-400 runs. I was playing a quarterfinal zonal game in Delhi, where I scored some unbeaten 70 and got directly drafted into the camp for the 2012 Under-19 World Cup. But I got injured. And when I came back for the next season, the people at NCA asked me to focus on my recovery and assured that I would be called back into the camp. But that season went pretty bad for me; I had scored 150-odd runs from five-six games, probably without a single fifty. So it was the third or fourth match when I went upto the coach and said, ‘Sir, please send me home because I am able to neither middle the ball nor play the way I want to.’ I am one of those guys who won’t say anything if I don’t deserve. So I’d be happy to sit out if I have scored 10 runs from three games, even if somebody with fewer runs is playing. Gautam bhaiya had supported me a lot at that time. He had told me, ‘No cricketer can stay at the peak from the very first day to the last. But this is the time you support the juniors and carry them along.’ But I bounced back from that and played all the matches in the next season.

Q. How was the Covid-19 lockdown for you? I’m asking since your white-ball numbers post pandemic have shown great improvement.

Nitish Rana: There was one drawback during Covid and I felt it took my game back in some way. All of us knew that the Ranji Trophy wouldn’t be held. And technically, the IPL was played twice every year when it was staged in two halves for those two seasons. So for almost two years, I practised just with the white ball. Even when I used to do knocking on my terrace, I would do it with the white ball – I was that obsessed with white-ball cricket. And playing red-ball cricket requires you to have the skill, in addition to experience. But I personally love the T20 and ODI formats because, I feel I perfectly fit in the role of an all-rounder. I have definitely put more emphasis there, but I’d want to do well in red-ball cricket again because, it was the Ranji Trophy which paved way for the IPL.

Q. Your first-class debut came after two seasons in white ball. Was it frustrating for you?

Nitish Rana: I used to play under-23 and under-19 at that time, and I have always been Delhi’s top-scorer in junior cricket. If I have played six seasons, I know for sure I was the highest run-getter in at least five of them. So it wasn’t like I didn’t play red-ball cricket at all. I scored a lot of runs in those two seasons between my white-ball and red-ball debuts. In under-23, we couldn’t qualify but I had three hundreds and an 80-odd in those four matches. I had amassed 850 runs in under-19 as well. I knew my time would come. But now, frustration sometimes creeps in. At a time when there are three-four Indian squads made, I question why my name isn’t coming. But it’s fine; it’s a part and parcel of every cricketer’s life. You have to see this daily, you have to live this daily, you go to sleep alone and wake up on your own – you have to do everything by yourself. From the outside, our life seems pretty glamorous. But only we know how difficult it is.

Q. Your captaincy debut actually came in the Ranji Trophy in the 2018/19 season. Did you feel overburdened by expectations because your performance was below par in that edition?

Nitish Rana: I had never captained in junior cricket. I didn’t take up captaincy in under-16 because I just wanted to bat and score runs. But there were a couple of incidents in the Ranji Trophy when I engaged in verbal confrontations and bhaiya was there. My attitude doesn’t allow me to be bogged down, which he probably liked. Although other teams have more titles, he always wanted the opposition to feel the pressure of Delhi because, Delhi is Delhi. So in his last three-four seasons, he wanted to assemble a crop of 15-16 players who would serve Delhi for the coming 10 years. And the crazy things is, just one player now remains from that group and that is Navdeep Saini.

Q. You again got the full-time captaincy for the last Mushtaq Ali and you had your best season ever – 317 runs and 11 wickets, including 6 wins out of 8. What changed?

Nitish Rana: When I became the Ranji captain, I didn’t have that experience. But the exposure that I got in the last three-four years, when Baz came to KKR and gave me a leadership role, I started to think that way. I love to learn new things and read the game. Even when I am sitting outside, I visualise different scenarios. So I had actually asked for the captaincy in the last Mushtaq Ali and Vijay Hazare. I felt that if there are no big figures in the dressing room, it’s my responsibility to stand up and deliver silverware for Delhi. I grew up in that environment and I felt, if I don’t take the responsibility now, then there wasn’t any point representing Delhi for six-seven years. And now, if somebody gives me a responsibility, I enjoy the game more.

Q. What kind of conversations did Chandrakant Pandit and the KKR management have with you before appointing you captain?

Nitish Rana: I remember the first camp in Mumbai when I met Chandu sir. And he told me, ‘Main tujhe as vice-captain dekh raha hoon.’ Shreyas’ injury wasn’t confirmed that time, but he had given me a hint to start thinking that way. And when that unfortunate news came in, there was this discussion at KKR regarding who to appoint captain. But then that person in me, who loves to take all the responsibilities, came out. And I had a meeting with Chandu sir and Venky sir, where I told them I was ready for the opportunity if they agreed. The management was worried that the extra responsibility might take a toll on the amount of runs I usually deliver. But I told them, ‘Mere ko responsibility bohot pasand hai. Aap bass trust karke dekho.’ And I want to thank the KKR management for showing faith in me and giving me such a big opportunity.

Q. Before IPL 2023 started, you had said that you wanted to lead your own way and not follow anyone’s style. Were there nerves to lead the likes of Dre Russ, Sunil Narine, and that too in front of a packed Eden Gardens?

Nitish Rana: The platform was so big and leading such a big franchise is a pressure in itself. There was pressure even while sleeping. In the initial few matches, I had some problems managing players. I had seven-eight bowling options and it cannot happen that all of them bowl four overs each. So when any of the bowlers couldn’t complete his quota, I used to think that I’m unable to maximise them. But I got better at it and my confidence also got boosted when my on-field decisions started paying off. A lot of people told me that captaincy is about results and I need not worry about making a decision. I just tried to back my instinct and I really enjoyed it. Captaincy has really helped me grow as a player and as a human. I am even looking forward to getting the captaincy in the seasons to come.

Q. As a child, you used to sit in the sun every time you got out early. How do you deal with setbacks these days?

Nitish Rana: It has become very different now. I used to do that as a punishment and also sometimes ran until the innings got over. Someone once told me that humans focus only on failures, but it is as important to make note even when you’re batting well and scoring runs. You should think about the things that are working for you, and they will help you during your bad days. I don’t give myself that ‘sitting in the sun’ punishment, but my mind runs a lot these days and I don’t know why that happens.

Q. Two of your innings stood out in the recent UP T20 League. 64* off 26 against Lucknow and 86* off 46 versus Kanpur. How satisfying were the two knocks?

Nitish Rana: When I failed in the first two-three matches, I told myself that I was playing for a different association and I had to leave a mark. So that knock against Lucknow, I batted with anger. Because the way I bat and how my mind works, I wasn’t able to play that way and I don’t know why that was happening. And it was frustrating me to the core. My mind was all over the place and I started hitting just to calm the nerves. And luckily, I hit nine sixes in that game.

Q. When you perform well, you naturally expect a promotion. Of course selection is not in any player’s hands. But how do you personally handle heartbreaks and rejections?

Nitish Rana: It is very, very difficult. Only my immediate family gets to know what I go through. And I prefer not showing anything to them as well. I would just lock myself in a room and take out my anger or if I have to cry. I believe that my family shouldn’t go through the problems I am facing in my career. There are many problems because even I do expect certain things. It’s not like I have not scored runs. But it’s fine, everything has its own time. I am not a 400-run player and I firmly believe this. I’ve promised myself that the day I score 600 runs, I will start crying over not getting picked. I am okay if they don’t select me after scoring 500 runs. I’ve also grown more patient with time. Earlier, I would react upon hearing something or want to take a break from cricket. But yeah, I feel hurt when I see there are three-four teams getting picked. If you select players who are below me, I definitely feel bad. I have also gotten used to it now. But my aim is to make a comeback and I will do it.

Q. It’s tougher when you have had a piece of the cake. That infamous Sri Lanka tour didn’t go well for anyone, both on and off the field. How tough was it to wait for another chance at redemption but which never came?

Nitish Rana: Before I got picked for the Sri Lanka tour, I used to always hope before every series that my name would come up. I was scoring runs and I knew that I would get a chance considering there was so much cricket happening. But since that Sri Lanka tour, even when there are multiple teams getting picked, I have been totally sidelined. And that is becoming very difficult for me. I am not saying that I would shatter all records, but I want to make a comeback for myself. I am okay with going there and failing again, but I want to have that shot at making a comeback. And if I don’t get it, this may very well happen that I don’t get sleep at night after leaving cricket. I have reached that level. I have not played a single overseas series for India A and I have been in the circuit for nine years. But they just don’t pick my name and I really don’t know what to do.

Q. The Indian team has been forever missing a middle-order batter who is also a decent part-time spinner. How big a motivation is that for you and how do you balance working on both skills?

Nitish Rana: I don’t how but bowling is there in me by god’s grace. I have not worked on my bowling as such. I just sometimes bowled in club cricket because the wickets were dry in Delhi. I just know that I have the smarts to bowl and I know how to read the pitch and the batter’s mind because I am a batter myself. But as far as my batting is concerned, I am working really hard. I made a few technical changes last season and I have been working on them. So yeah, that is a motivation knowing that slot is open. I have resigned to the fact that my game is in my hand and, if I do my best, then nobody can stop me.