Behold EPL followers, Ian Holloway is here!

Ian Holloway

“Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid. You should be aiming for a top half finish” - Ian Holloway

Over the years, English Premier League followers have had many entertaining personalities to follow. The Joey Bartons, Balotellis and Jose Mourinhos kept the British press busy all the time with their witty and sometimes outrageous statements and actions.

The upcoming season promises some really entertaining press conferences with Mourinho and Di Canio returning to the fold. But the one person who is really in a league of his own is Ian Holloway. You can bank on “Ollie” to come up with something hilarious every time he opens his mouth. And that too in his Bristolian accent, making it funnier. If he were not a football coach, he could easily have become a stand-up comedian. In fact,a very good one at that.

Once when asked about his health because of a recent kidney stones diagnosis, he replied, “It’s still in my body, and I’ll have to pass it some time, but my passing’s absolutely diabolical. That’s what I told the doctor: what chance have I got of passing anything, did you see me play?”

As the manager of QPR, when he was asked about his side winning ugly against Chesterfield, he came up with one of his wittiest statements saying,

“To put it in gentleman’s terms, if you’ve been out for a night, and you’re looking for a young lady and you pull one, some weeks they’re good looking and some weeks they’re not the best. Our performance today would have been not the best looking bird but at least we got her in the taxi. She wasn’t the best looking lady we ended up taking home, but she was very pleasant and very nice, so thanks very much, let’s have a coffee.”

On Arsenal‘s poor finishing, “I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I’ve ever seen and yet they couldn’t have scored in a brothel with two grand in their pockets!”

Here’s a video compilation:

However, Holloway also has a different aspect to his life too. Always the outspoken, funny and confident guy, he has had a completely divergent personal life.

He lost his father who was very influential in his life at an early stage of his playing career. His childhood girlfriend Kim, whom he later married, had to be nursed through lymphatic cancer.

Holloway has four children, out of which three are deaf. It was always hard for him to keep changing his house due to the special needs of his children. In fact, for three years of his time at QPR, he used to commute daily from Bristol to London, a 250 mile trip, so that his children could attend a special school.

Holloway had a decent career as a player at clubs like Bristol rovers, QPR, Wimbledon etc. as a right sided midfielder, scoring 49 goals in 598 appearances.

Describing himself as a player he says, “Players like Glenn Hoddle sit down and play the piano, but without someone carrying the piano on and putting the stool down, they wouldn’t be able to play. In other words, you need workers, and I was a worker who played for the team.”

As a manager, he’s had good success managing teams with very little funds. He’s been a championship manager most of his time and has reached the play-offs with Plymouth, QPR, Blackpool and Crystal Palace, taking the later three to the Premier League.

Looking at his wholesome involvement and commitment as a footballer manager and his sense of humour despite his personal life, one can’t have anything but admiration and respect for the man. Looking forward to follow every single press conference of yours “Ollie”!