Crystal Palace v Arsenal preview: Be afraid of the Keith Millen effect

It’s Crystal Palace versus Arsenal. A match which takes the ‘grudge’ out of ‘grudge match’. It’s just a match. Neither team particularly hates the other, despite the fact that this is nominally a London derby. That might be because Arsenal fans have traditional antagonism with their nearest London rivals, Tottenham Hotspur, and their more recently successful peers, Chelsea. It might also be because Crystal Palace’s established enemies are that other London club, er, Brighton. Geography is something that Arsenal exploit when it comes down to hunting the best talent on the continent, whereas at Crystal Palace they seemingly don’t really understand geography at all. Let us be clear: Brighton is not in London.

This match is all about one man. It’s a man who puts fear into the hearts of clubs across the company. It’s a man who is in demand across the world ahead of the World Cup. But right now, that man – Keith Millen – is the caretaker manager of Crystal Palace. It’s often said that players at clubs with new managers enjoy a bounce in their form as they enjoy the freedom, or try to impress the new man, but Keith Millen is something special.

Keith Millen: “Relax fellas, I got this.”

When Keith Millen says ‘Jump!’ the players say, ‘Obviously we will jump, and we won’t insult you by asking how high, because if you ask this of us, Keith Millen, then we will jump as high as our ability allows. We will jump the highest for you, Keith Millen.’

But enough about Keith Millen, let’s got onto the players. Jason Puncheon is a reasonably impressive Premier League player, able to impress in weaker teams with his technical skills and pace. Beyond that, the rest of the Palace squad aren’t good enough. For all the signings made by the sadly departed Ian Holloway, the rest of the squad is entirely lacking. Here is a list of all the other players that Arsenal should be concerned about:

That is the end of the list.

Jason Puncheon is reasonably impressive, his team-mates are not.

Arsenal will be keen to get back to victory having lost to Borussia Dortmund in the Champions League. That defeat might be no bad thing for Arsenal’s Premier League hopes. It might, admittedly, test their previously weak mentality, but a win at the weekend would demonstrate that they are no longer quite so flimsy. With, obviously, Mesut Ozil, and the reinvigorated Jack Wilshere and Olivier Giroud, Arsenal have the goal threat. The only problem is if Kieran Gibbs makes another mistake as he did in the week.

Apart from that, the superior display by the German side may have shown Arsenal that they must raise their game further to be considered great. If they improve upon their – actually impressive – performance against Dortmund at the weekend, then Arsenal will have no trouble in defeating Arsenal.