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While it comes as no surprise that Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho is keen to be back in the limelight and remind us all that his ego and him are very much alive and well over the course of the summer, the fact he has managed to grab the headlines with England’s World Cup campaign just hours away is quite a feat.
So, it seems that the Three Lions came very close to naming the Portuguese boss as replacement for the wally with the brolly back in 2007, only for Mourinho’s wife to step in and talk him out of it. (She is apparently wearing the trousers in the relationship, somehow).
Instead, Fabio Capello took over, England carried on being rubbish and Mourinho carried on being one of the best managers in the world, winning an unprecedented treble with Internazionale. I think we all know who the winner was there.
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It’s fun to speculate as to how England would have lined up under Mourinho, with his penchant for defensive bus parking and cryptic mind games. But could the Special One have worked his magic for the Three Lions?
Squawka takes a look at the players that could have been lining up in Manaus on Saturday, had Mourinho taken up the England managerial post.
Goalkeeper - Joe Hart
With our goalkeeping options rather depleted, Hart gets the nod almost by default. Mourinho picks his number one and sticks with him, so even though the Manchester City shot stopper had a wobble earlier in the campaign Hart would remain first choice.
Right-Back - Chris Smalling
On the right flank we have Smalling. Lambasted and far from a fans favourite, the Manchester United defender would still do a job here. Given that the primary reason for Mourinho’s selection of a right-back is to have goal-kicks pumped out high and wide in his direction, Smalling’s physical stature gets him in. Watch out Branislav Ivanovic.
Centre-Back - John Terry
It’s the one the whole nation has been pining for, the return of Mr. Chelsea. Not only does JT get his place back in the side, he is handed the captain’s armband and, at Mourinho’s request, receives an immediate letter of apology from both the Football Association and Anton Ferdinand.
Centre-Back - Gary Cahill
The Chelsea love in continues as Cahill is handed a starting berth having carved out a formidable partnership alongside Terry. In other words, it’s like being back at school – he gets in the team because he’s happy to play alongside the teacher’s pet that is also the most hated kid in the playground.
Left-Back - Ashley Cole
Having failed to convince Cesar Azpilicueta to be fast tracked to the front of the queue for British nationality, Mourinho opts to recall Cole is from the international wilderness.
Luke Shaw was considered, but the Portuguese has no business promoting youth.
Central-Midfield - Frank Lampard
Steven who? Forget Gerrard. There’s only one winner in Jose’s book. Lampard was Mourinho’s go to guy during their spell at Chelsea and even though he has now left the Stamford Bridge club, the Portuguese has quickly declared he already wants the midfielder back.
Whenever he wants to come back. In whatever role he wants.
Central-Midfield - Phil Jones
Phil “the face” Jones fulfills the customary centre-back-cum-midfielder in Mourinho’s side. Defensive tactics get taken to a new level when Mourinho is around and the cumbersome Jones could yet become the next David Luiz, i.e. overrated. Who remembers when Fergie said Jones could become the best ever player in Manchester United’s history? He’s coming for you Giggsy.
Central-Midfied - Jordan Henderson
Some would suggest fielding a technically inferior player to counteract the negative effect an ageing team mate has on your formation is foolish. Jose is not among them.
The Liverpool midfielder is included for his energy in the centre of the park. Think Ramires but without the disgusting lunges and disciplinary record.
Right Midfield - James Milner
Are you spectacular? No. Skilful? At times. Solid, dependable, reliable, versatile? Yes. Jimmy M you’re in. The Manchester City midfielder is often accused of being boring, but you can bet your bottom dollar he would play his heart out for Mourinho and never step out of line.
If he could be cloned, Milner would have been played in every position.
Left-Midfield - Wayne Rooney
Mourinho is a master at getting players to play out of position “for the cause” and Rooney could easily be tricked into returning to the left wing. Chelsea were keen on Rooney last summer before he signed a lucrative deal at United and the striker would relish working ridiculously hard on the flank for the Special One.
Centre-Forward - Rickie Lambert
The newly signed Liverpool striker, or the white Didier Drobga as he could have quickly become known if Mourinho had landed England’s top job, would be the perfect spearhead to the attack.
Powerful, athletic and good with his feet for a big man, Lambert would just need to fine tune his diving and cheating to successfully fill the Ivorian’s role.
