How does gray divorce impact elderly mental health?

Separation from a partner at any life stage can be difficult. Gray divorce is a type of separation or divorce from a partner for adults aged 50 and above. Research shows that gray divorce doubled from 1990 to 2015. There can be various reasons behind this surge in modern society. Some of these can be changing values, the changing definition of commitment and marriage or the destigmatization of divorce.

Perhaps it is a combination of reasons that contribute to the separation. What is important for us to note is that this can be associated with significant financial, social, and emotional costs for both individuals.

What happens to couples when they separate in their older adulthood? (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

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What is a gray divorce? How does it impact elderly mental health?

Times have indeed changed, leading to multi-faceted difficulties. (Image via Freepik/ Freepik)

As mentioned, gray divorce can be the result of a variety of causes and present a variety of challenges. It is often known as a silver divorce and has become increasingly prevalent. Divorce or separation is a loss that can be accompanied by a series of emotions. This can range from experiencing grief, loneliness, uncertainty, and other emotional challenges.

Depending on the culture, divorce can also have social consequences for the couple. Unfortunately, this burden is often experienced more by women, since it is often assumed that they must keep the family together. They can be ostracised especially if they initiate a divorce.

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How can you heal from the impact of separation?

Is there a way to heal and recover from separation and divorce in the later years? (Image via Freepik/ DC studio)

Irrespective of the reasons, divorce and separation are choices that people can make at any life stage. However, the presence of a strong support system and coping tools becomes essential at this delicate life stage. Whether it is seeking therapy, talking to loved ones, or engaging in self-care, it is important to take care of yourself after separation.

One common tool to process a loss is to think about the relationship and the other person. This can include thinking about the good things, the problems that you both experienced, and discussing any regrets, if any. This helps to give your emotions context and not push them under the carpet.

Additionally, it also becomes important for you to focus on your financial health after separation. This may involve seeking help from financial advisors or experts who can inform you of the dos and don'ts. Seeking help and support helps to stabilise your life after a transition!

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It is important to remember that a gray divorce can also be a process of reinvention. It is also difficult for the person who initiates a divorce and desires to start over. However, if the decision does turn out to be final, it does not have to be an end to the pursuit of happiness or purpose. Gray divorce not only affects the couple, but also the family, including adult children.

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Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.