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Splitting in borderline personality disorder is a common symptom that impacts an individual's thinking. It's not only present in individuals with BPD but is commonly associated with them. We all have a personality, and it develops as we grow up.
Depending on our environment and nurture, our persona slowly takes shape. Sometimes, we may experience negative experiences that significantly impact how we interact with our environment and others.
One of the common dysfunctions in our personalities can lead to borderline personality disorder. It's a condition characterized by impulsive behavior, emotional dysregulation and unstable relationships.
Apart from difficulties at the emotional and behavioral levels, a person may also display difficulties at the thought level, which often comes up as splitting in borderline personality disorder.
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What is splitting in borderline personality disorder?
Splitting in borderline personality disorder is one of the things a person finds the hardest to cope with.
Some individuals describe it as a feeling that something else takes over inside and makes them think and feel things they never normally would. BPD splitting symptoms leave individuals questioning their own close relationships and loved ones.
They can idolize, adore and love someone to bits, but the second they get slightly upset, even the tiniest thing, they can split on them instantly. Their emotions, thoughts and feelings towards the person go from 100 straight to 0. Additionally, they may feel the need to cut them off and get them out of their lives.
Individuals with splitting may have difficulty managing a normal disagreement or inconvenience without it going to the most extreme places.
BPD splitting: how long does it last? Individual differences make this question diffcult to answer. As long as the trigger is present, the person may continue to split.
Let's take splitting BPD examples to further enhance our understanding. Your friend appreciates that you helped her with her nail polish. Next day, she brings more and wants to paint your nails.
You agree to it and appreciate her color choice. She feels validated and trusted. However, the next day you tell her not to bring it again, as it impacts your professional demeanor. That makes her split on you, and she decides to cut all ties with you.
BPD splitting: How does it stop?
Splitting operates as a defence mechanism. It's generally theorised that BPD stems from extreme invalidation that an individual experienced as a child.
They learn to see their world as good or bad and have difficulty seeing the grey area. This is known as all-or-none thinking or black-and-white thinking. There are ways to make it stop, but it starts with noticing and compassion.
Begin by observing your internal self-dialogue. Notice yourself using extreme words like 'always', 'never', 'worst', 'none' or 'nobody.' Try to challenge yourself to see the good in the bad and the bad in the good. This is a difficult task, and most individuals prefer to work with a professional to manage their distortions.
An excellent therapy modality to work with splitting in borderline personality disorder is dialectical behavioral therapy. It teaches you the skills of distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, mindfulness and emotional regulation. If you have BPD, you know that these areas can be difficult to manage or under your control.
Most individuals with BPD want to experience things like a disagreement and just accept it and be fine. They don't want to feel disregulated in a matter of seconds and feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells.
Splitting in borderline personality disorder can be misunderstood easily, pushing others away from them. It's important to consider that individuals with BPD experience intense pain and discomfort when they are splitting.
Janvi Kapur is a counselor with a Master's degree in applied psychology with a specialization in clinical psychology.
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