Major League Baseball: Chicago Cubs Must Get Rid Of Alfonso Soriano At Any Cost

An image like this is how most Cubs fans will remember Alfonso Soriano. "Fonz" hit his 1st home run since June 19th on Friday. Thanks again, Jim Hendry.

I vaguely remember one of my first posts on my website where I listed the worst contracts in all of sports. It was such a horrendously bad list of bums that I only can remember two things. One, that I became nauseous as I researched said contracts, and two, that the Alfonso Soriano deal still infuriated me 3 years after Jim Hendry signed him.

8 years, $136 million dollars. Those numbers should forever live in Cubs infamy with the black cat, the ’84 choke job, the ’89 sweep vs the Giants, the 0-14 start in ’97, the ’03 gag fest, & the whole not winning a playoff game thing in ’07 & ’08. I can go on for another 1,000 words about the mismanagement of the most embarrassing franchise in sports (you’re approaching this territory Raiders & Clippers. Don’t think you aren’t in the Cubs sights).

So, as I go another day without watching this rag tag group of lazy asses, I am able to keep up with Cubs news thanks to the beauty of Twitter. I’m sorry, but I’ve long reached my breaking point with this team. I don’t want to hear about anything that happens on the field unless it pertains to Starlin Castro. Are you with me on that? Wonderful.

If you are wasting your weekend watching the Cubs and Astros, bless your heart. You are a better person than I. I have trained myself to only read about off the field Cubs news. When news broke that Pat Gillick would be interested in a President type role for the Cubs, I was elated. That, of course, is only if Gillick is allowed to clean house and run the Cubs his way with his people. I have a mental image of Jim Hendry and Crane Kenney sitting outside Wrigley holding shit from their office in boxes as they try and hail a cab to get out of dodge. That would be a beautiful sight, wouldn’t it?

The other news is that the Cubs would be willing to eat a substantial amount of the $60 million left on the aforementioned Soriano albatross to ensure that he swings at 57 foot curve balls in another uniform. Thank God. The culture of this Cubs team has been poisoned by “The Fonz,” Aramis Ramirez (I covered him earlier in the week), and Carlos Zambrano. Ramirez will be gone next year, and who knows, maybe Big Z waives his Jim Hendry special (no-trade clause) in the off-season.

However, if you can move Soriano now, that would be the biggest win of the Cubs this season. If you have to eat $45 million of that $60 million, so be it. I would view that as an off-season free agent signing. The Cubs don’t need Starlin Castro to be exposed to any more of Soriano’s indifference and laziness. I know that he’s hitting .249 with 14 home runs and 41 RBI, but doesn’t it feel like he’s hitting .219 with 7 home runs, and 26 RBI? That’s what I thought. The Cubs need to try every avenue to get him on the next flight out of O’Hare. Just make sure that Oprah & Jim Belushi are on the same flight. I would appreciate that, Tom Ricketts.

I’ll give Soriano credit though, at least he knows that he is not wanted here anymore. The fact that he is willing to waive his Hendry special is big news. Does anybody want him even if most of his contract is paid for? I doubt it, but if it’s possible, you can’t make that deal fast enough. Then, maybe we can find out if Tyler Colvin can actually play at this level. The Cubs haven’t, and won’t, made any relevant news on the field this year, but the off the field news is giving a tortured fan base some reasons for optimism.