Race to the bottom: The Andrew Wiggins tankfest

Utah Jazz: Utah got rid of their talented inside men Al Jefferson and Paul Millsap in the same offseason to declare their intentions in the Wiggins race. But the departure of Jefferson and Millsap makes room for young bigs Enes Kanter and Derrick Favors to move in as regular starters, and this could potentially be a fun pairing. Add them up with Gordon Hayward and the Burke-Burks backcourt (Trey Burke-Alec Burks), and you have a team that can be fun to watch. Not successful, but fun to watch.

Boston Celtics: Oh, how the mighty of fallen! Ubuntu is dead, long live Ubuntu. Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett are in Brooklyn. Ray Allen moved to Miami a year ago. And Doc Rivers is now coaching the Clippers. The Celtics are left with an injured Rajon Rondo, the inconsistent-but-tantalizing pair of Jeff Green and Avery Bradley, and a bunch of important expiring contracts.

This team has a history of featuring some of the greatest players in the NBA, so perhaps them sucking the season before Wiggins’ arrival will be another wondrous moment in regaining the luck of the Irish.

Charlotte Bobcats: The good news is that the Bobcats – with Al Jefferson, Kemba Walker, Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, and Cody Zeller – won’t be historically awful like they have been in recent years. The bad news is that they chose the wrong year to get a little better. Still, you can never rule them from joining the elite tankers once again. It’s all for a greater cause.

Eric Bledsoe #2 of the Phoenix Suns drives against the Portland Trail Blazers on October 9, 2013 at the Moda Center Arena in Portland, Oregon. (Getty Images)

Sacramento Kings: Vivek Ranadive’s purchase of the team has reinvigorated fans and kept the team in Sacramento, and of course, caught the attention of NBA fans back home in India. Ranadive is even talking about bringing the Kings for an exhibition game in India next year!

But hype can only take a team so far; without talent and results, the optimism will fizzle out very quickly. The Kings will look good whenever DeMarcus Cousins looks good, and thus, they will be as inconsistent as he is. On the bright side, his inconsistency might eventually bring them Andrew Wiggins. And then India – and the rest of the world – will pay attention.

Cleveland Cavaliers: The Cavs have won the draft lottery twice in the last three years, and may be have an outside shot at winning it again. It all depends on their regular health issues: if Kyrie Irving, Anderson Varejao, and Andrew Bynum are healthy, this is potentially a playoff team, especially with Anthony Bennett, Tristan Thomas, and Dion Waiters on deck, too. Otherwise, they are headed for the lottery, and the more their health suffers, the higher up the lottery they’ll go.

Dallas Mavericks: Some teams stay loyal to their franchise star, even when the best years of both the team and player are in the past. It is nearly guaranteed that Dirk Nowitzki will retire a Maverick. It is also nearly guaranteed that this team isn’t going to be contending for a title anytime soon. And if ‘Monta-Ball’ was your big off-season acquisition, you’re probably closer to Riggin’ for Wiggins.

(from left) Enes Kanter #0, Tyrone Corbin Head Coach and Derrick Favors #15 of the Utah Jazz pose for a photo during 2013 Media Day at Zions Basketball Center on September 30, 2013 in Salt Lake City, Utah. (Getty Images)

Toronto Raptors: Their best player – Rudy Gay – has an expiring contract. Toronto have a choice to make: trade Gay for chump change, lose more, and win in the lottery, or keep Gay, and along with him, DeMar DeRozan, and the young and exciting Jonas Valanciunas, make a run at a playoff spot. Remember though that this is Canada’s only team, and are 2014 saviour Mr. Wiggins could challenge Steve Nash as the greatest Canadian player ever. This could be the perfect fairytale landing for him.

New Orleans Pelicans: The Pelicans look decent on paper, with Anthony Davis, Jrue Holiday, Tyreke Evans, and Eric Gordon in the mix. But the roster is uneven and unpredictable. How healthy is Gordon ever going to be, and will he last another season before being traded? Can Evans finally figure it out and start to play winning team basketball? They are a young team in a tough division in a tough conference; they will be exciting but don’t expect to see too many numbers in the ‘Win’ column.

Los Angeles Lakers: Yup. With Dwight in Houston, Nash touching 40, and Kobe’s health far from a guarantee, and an aging Pau Gasol, the Lakers may have a small shot at Andrew Wiggins. The problem is that, they might be just good enough to miss on the sweepstakes and just bad enough to miss the playoffs.

It’s an unfortunate purgatory, and their fortunes could ultimately be decided by Kobe Bryant’s return and determination. If he plays hard, maybe they grab that last roster spot in the West; if he buys into the tanking (and he won’t, because he’s Kobe), LA fans could finally have the successor to the Mamba that they have long been waiting for.