10 reasons why it's tough to be an Indian cricketer

7. You are born on flat pitches

Flat track bully!

You are just born on the wrong side of the world, boss. No matter how much you score, every run is credited to the flat pitches and the 300s that you score on them are really not a real estimation of your talent. You are tagged as a flat track bully and the world will laugh at you when you struggle abroad.

8. You are a bowler

Bowler? Huh! What’s that?

The joke’s on you – who in their right mind becomes a bowler in India? Get yourself checked and if you are found sane then….

“Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else….You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you.”