10 most annoying cliches in cricket commentary

Commentators and their ‘fun’ clichesWith the increasing number of cricket matches across the globe, came the increasing need for more TV commentators. With the increasing number of commentators came the dearth for words in the cricketing parlance.Words and phrases were used, re-used and then abused. Such is the predictability of most commentators that any sincere cricket fan would be able to foretell what would be said for a particular situation.The banalities are used excessively to such an extent that we could develop a commentary app and that would be no worse than some of the commentators. Even though Tony Greig’s “What a player” and “Bowled’em, clean bowled'em” and Bill Lawry’s “it’s all happening here” were heard from their mouths often, they were more signature phrases than cliches for the voice that carried these words made them sound special.Here, I have compiled a list of 10 such cliches which have managed to get under the skin of the fans.

#1 That went like a tracer bullet

Let’s begin with the God of cricket cliches, “That went like a tracer bullet” by Ravi Shastri. If the fans are unfortunate enough to have Ravi Shastri sitting in the commentary box, a batsman hitting a four becomes salt in the wound. When the former Indian cricketer does commentary, all fours seem to reach the fence like a tracer bullet.

But here is an important stat for the nerds. A tracer bullet travels slower than a normal bullet while emitting a red light. Who knows, Shashtri sees something that we cannot.

#2 This is a pressure cooker situation

Every time our nails reach our teeth to produce another cliched phrase – “Nail biting moment”, you often hear commentators blaring “It is a pressure cooker situation”. There would definitely be pressure, but associating it with a pressure cooker is funny.

Perhaps organizers of the Indian Premier League could get a cue from this cliche and market one more brand. Much like DLF maximum and City moment of success, commentators could be asked to say Prestige Pressure Cooker situation of the match. That would be one way of monetizing a cliche.

#3 You can cut the tension with a knife

How long this phrase can last in cricket before activists eventually claim it to be a trigger for violence is the million dollar question. Just like the other banalities, this phrase makes little sense in a practical environment.

#4 Edged and taken

This would form an essential part of a rookie commentator’s starter pack. Even though it is Ravi Shastri who is notorious for overusing this phrase, now the abuse of this expression has become as common as a helmet for batsmen.

Perhaps the next sequel of the ‘Taken’ series could be made on match fixing in cricket with the name “Edged and Taken”.

#5 It\'s up in the air....and down the fielder\'s throat

This could possibly be the worst of all cliches, since it says nothing that the viewer cannot see unless he/she has visual impairment. Do TV commentators confuse their profession with radio commentary that they want to give every inch of details on the screen?

The utterance “Down the fielder’s throat” is bound to make Shahid Afridi proud.

#6 He doesn\'t need a second invitation

This is often uttered when a bowler bowls into a batsman’s strong zone. But who cares to give a second invitation in real life, anyway?

#7 When he hits it stays hit

This a phrase that can embarrass Sir Isaac Newton; something that can defy physics. This phrase questions both the principle of conservation of energy and the law of gravity.

#8 Cricket is the real winner

It should be among one of the most philosophical cliches in cricket since this is akin to saying at the end of the war, war is the real winner.

#9 Text book shot

This expression makes me believe that my days of playing book cricket could have been made better with this shot. Puns apart, isn’t aping books bad for youngsters? Cricket pundits seem to hold a different opinion as they want batsmen to stick to what’s been the norm.

#10 The next session will be crucial

If you have nothing to say during a Test match, this could help you. The law of commentary states that the next session will always be crucial but only until the second session of the fifth day.