Humour: Deciphering the hidden messages in 10 countries' cricket logos

One of the main reasons we all love cricket is that every country has an amazing logo. For without that logo, who knows why on earth anybody in their right mind would have even a passing interest in the sport? You know, with all the match fixing and DRS rubbish and Stuart Broad, we all just want to rejoice in the quality of our team's logo, for this is what makes the game great. But have you ever truly studied them? I mean, really bothered to give them a critical look? Haven't you? Then this is your lucky day.

Bangladesh

It is fitting that a struggling cricket nation like Bangladesh would put the Bengal tiger front and centre on their logo. It makes sense given there are only 440 of them in the whole country and they are soon to be extinct. Is this what the Bangladesh Cricket Board is trying to tell us? That their cricket team will soon be extinct?

I'm not sure what the white scratches next to the tiger's head are meant to represent. Mountains perhaps? Are there even mountains in Bangladesh? Isn't it just one big flood plain? I really like the classy touch of the Bengali phrase at the top. It says, "No, We are Not East Pakistan Anymore."

New Zealand

New Zealand Cricket are so proud of their logo that they have ensured that the TM symbol is front and centre. With such an original and novel design incorporating the silver fern, it is only right that they should protect their intellectual property. God forbid another sporting team would come up with the same idea. Like the New Zealand national netball team. perhaps. We can't have that.

Zimbabwe

Clearly, the Zimbabwe Cricket Board is broke and out of ideas. The picture of the stumps has been stolen from some 8 bit graphics cricket game I used to play on my Atari back in 1987. Or is it meant to represent the ghost that spooked Shane Watson? It is hard to tell. The red hamburger logo makes little sense.

Perhaps they are sponsored by a local fast food chain I am yet to hear of? The green letter 'C' that stands for the word 'Cricket' is backwards. That's a schoolboy error. I'm reliably informed that the yellow bird is actually oversized, but has been shrunk to fit the given space. It is meant to be a tribute to Joel Garner.

West Indies

Take Richie Richardson's massive ODI hat and squash it. Kazaam! You now have the background to the West indies logo. Now, take the outline of some random European coat of arms, and shove inside every cliche you can think of that relates to the West Indies and cricket.

Ensure you represent the beautiful sunshine, the palm trees, some mandatory stumps and the whole island thing. Ignore any protests from Guyana that they are not even a island but part of the South American continent. Retort by saying that the rest of the West Indies are actually part of North America, so bad luck. You have been out-voted.

Sri Lanka

This logo is probably what sparked the Sri Lankan civil war. You see, the lion with the sword thing is actually a stolen image from the Sri Lankan national flag. That lion on the national flag represents the Sinhalese. Unfortunately, Sri Lanka Cricket forgot to add the orange stripe that represents the Tamils, or the green stripe that represents the Moors.

In effect, Sri Lanka Cricket has a racist logo. Cricket as a whole should boycott Sri Lanka for this.

Also, what lion do you know that can hold a sword like that? Clearly, the designer of this logo was smoking something he shouldn't have been when he came up with it. It may as well be a picture of a unicorn.

South Africa

The guys at South Africa Cricket didn't even try. All they have done is taken the national flag and underneath it stuck a crusty old coat of arms looking thing. Apparently, these are in fashion. Inside the coat of arms is what I initially thought was a phallic symbol that was on the receiving end of a really bad circumcision. I am relieved to tell you it is actually just a protea. That's a flower apparently?

Pakistan

Ok, I'll admit it. This could be the sexiest logo on the block. To start with, they had the amazing foresight to take Dame Edna's glasses and stick them inside a star that has been stolen from Hollywood Boulevard. Genius! What does it represent? Who cares?

Then they have gone to some expensive marketing agency to have them produce the letters PCB in green using the Arial font. Or is it Wingdings? Might it actually be Lucida Sans? Write in if you know the truth.

England

A blue crown. It is probably made of magical gemstones. It would have to be. That blue crown made of magical gemstones also has a magical floating 'R' encased in a fairy dust cylindrical cage. Some clerics say the 'R' represents Joe Root. Other say it is a shrine to Sam Robson. Who am I to doubt that either of those theories is correct? It is all very effeminate and regal. Just as the manly, sweaty and tough sport of cricket should be represented.

Well, that rings true if you are British. More accurately, if you are from the English and Welsh bit of Britain. But not the Scottish bit. They aren't included in this club. But South Africans are. But not South Africans named Kevin Pietersen. That's a shame because of this:

The DCXXVI that KP is pointing to also used to be in the English logo. It represented James Anderson's bowling average in The Ashes. However, it was changed to the letters 'ECB' in 2013 after his average threatened to blow out to over 40. It is now 36 again. Perhaps the ECB will change it back?

The three blue lions are neat. Blue lions are plentiful in the dreams of those who smoke up and unbeknownst to me, the British Islands. Why are the crazy blue lions so elongated and why do they have no teeth? What lion has no teeth?

Australia

The smallest of all the country logos. Amazingly and surprisingly, it takes the national colours of green and gold. I've never understood why those are the Australian national colours? None of them appears on the national flag. Aren't there enough cricket playing nations with green in their logo already? There is Pakistan, Zimbabwe, South Africa, Bangladesh, the West Indies and even Afghanistan.

What would have been wrong with something a little more modern? Perhaps antique brass, electric lava, desert camel or Louisiana Cajun Crawfish Orange? There's also the Southern Cross, a cricket ball and a sun. Oh, and there's another coat of arms. C'mon Cricket Australia. This logo sucks ass. #Bullshit

India

You have to hand it to the Board of Control for Cricket in India. Not only do they have the longest name, but they have managed to fit it into their logo. They are also bossing world cricket administration right now. That is why the logo is shaped like a ninja star. It is saying "Don't mess with us".

What many people miss on first glance is the little comical love heart between the words "Board" and "India". It's a blatant diversion technique to try and have us believe that this Indian cricket board really care for the game. They probably should replace the love heart with a dollar sign to make it more representative of their value set.