Satire: India to play with 11 batsmen in World Cup 2015

Suresh Raina would welcome this move, or would he?

In the Hindi movie Taare Zameen Par, after two-and-a-half hours of emotional ride, Ishaan Awasthi’s parents finally realize that their son was meant for painting, and not for mainstream studies. I am sure that the Indian team must have been caught up in a tour when this movie released in December 2007, as they have never learnt any lessons from it. But Aamir Khan, being a true well-wisher of the cricket team, came up with another Hindi film ’3 Idiots’ in 2009 to reinforce the same message: “Do what you are good at! And not copy what the world does”.

The Indian selectors, finally understanding where their core strength lies, have decided to pick 11 specialist batsmen in the World Cup 2015 starting eleven. One among the wise men said: “Yes, these are not rumours. We are doing away with bowlers for the World Cup and the focus will be on building a strong batting unit”.

The media considers the move a delayed yet apt decision in a cricketing nation that churns out an average of 9.43 classical batsmen per year as compared to 0.46 quality bowlers per year. A part of my heart dies a little every time I see Indian bowlers being hit so effortlessly by all oppositions around the park. I bet Ishant Sharma, Vinay Kumar and VRV Singh would have made good software engineers than bowlers. They could have graduated from IITs, earned big dollars and sat in a couch telling their kids: “Indian bowling is pathetic. I would have been a better bowler if they let me bowl, son”!

If we do a scan of the last twenty years of Indian cricket, only Zaheer Khan, Javagal Srinath, Anil Kumble and Harbhajan Singh seem to have stood out. So it means out of the 100-150 debuts we must have handed to new bowlers, only four went on to deliver promises. Now, that is a disappointingly low probability of success. And a similar scan of twenty years for batsmen would filter so many success stories that if I were to enlist their names, this article would be 500 words longer. That means, every time we see an Indian bowler being milked, we must not think that ki “Iski jagah us bowler ko le aate”, instead say “iski jagah ek batsman aur khila lete”!

This theory of ‘doing what you are good at’ was best practised by Sourav Ganguly, who played seven specialist batsmen even on pitches where oppositions had 5 front-line bowlers and a couple of all-rounders. Following that strategy, we even managed to pull off wins! Now that World Cup is just a year away and our bowlers are finding new ways to maintain economies of above 7, we must build a team that has 11 specialist batsmen who amass at least 500 runs every time they bat first. The target would then be to bowl at an economy rate of less than 10 to win the match. Sounds easy, right?

It makes even more sense because many talented batsmen are sitting on the bench right now, fighting hard to make debuts, whereas bowlers need just a good spell to draw attention. It would even motivate Ravichandran Ashwin and Ravindra Jadeja to declare themselves as pure batsmen and clear the cobwebs in their minds. This move might make Ishant an IITian and Rohit Sharma the cricketer to play most ODIs. The IITs and IIMs also have welcomed this move as they expect more admissions this year compared to last few years. “The BCCI’s thought to do away with bowlers will bring fresh talent and diversity in our campus”, said the Dean of one of the reputed IIMs.

“I am a lot focused on my higher studies now, and biology seems less threatening than being carted around the park by Ross Taylor”, said one Indian bowler, who will now pursue his dream of becoming a doctor.

One of the sources has leaked the probable eleven that India could field in the upcoming World Cup. “No matter how surprising the decision is, this is our best way to bring home the Cup in 2015”, told a selector as he left the building with apparent satisfaction written on his face.

Shikhar Dhawan Rohit Sharma Virat Kohli Ajinkya Rahane Ambati Rayudu MS Dhoni R Jadeja R Ashwin A Mishra B Kumar Md. Shami ( The current squad )

Shikhar Dhawan Virender Sehwag Gautam Gambhir Virat Kohli Rohit Sharma Ajinkya Rahane Ambati Rayudu Yuvraj Singh Suresh Raina MS Dhoni Dinesh Karthick ( The 11-man batting squad could play in the World Cup)

If the Indian model of ‘doing what you are good at’ succeeds, more countries will follow suit. In the near future, Sri Lanka is likely to build an all left-handers team, while Pakistan may go for 11 specialist bowlers.

“If your premier bowlers are going for 7-8 runs an over, it makes sense to play 11 batsmen”, quoted another selector shrugging his shoulders.

DISCLAIMER: This article is a piece of fiction and should not be taken seriously.