Ravi Shastri and his commentary gaffes

Ravi Shastri

Ravi Shastri is a cricketing man. Armed with an illustrious 12-year career, having been part of the 1983 World Cup winning team, and with more than 6000 runs and 250 wickets to his credit, his knowledge about the game cannot be doubted. Thus, it came as no surprise when he turned over to commentary in the year 1995. Everybody expected this man to provide deep insights into the game and mesmerise the audiences with his wit and humour. At least the BCCI and ESPN did!

And humoured he has. But more than his practical reading of the game, his predictions or his analysis of the on-field action, it’s his gaffes and bone tickling statements that have won fans. Some leave the listeners in splits, some perplexed and some exasperated. But the man doesn’t seem to realize or bother. He does it again and again, and has been doing so for umpteen years. Ravi Shastri today has become a name associated with commentary blunders and repeated phrases. Here are some of the most hilarious things he has said over the years.

1) “Lasith Malinga is a sort of bowler who doesn’t need a pitch to bowl.” – One wonders where Mr Shastri expects him to bowl, maybe a basketball court would do!

2) “The sun will soon sink into the Bay of Bengal, and there won’t be enough light for play to continue.” – Is Bengal in the West? Or does the sun set in the east?

3) During a T20 match between England and India, Shastri commented, “So Bresnan departs without TICKLING the scorers.” – Tickling the scorers? Really?

4) “It’s funny how in 20-20 cricket, one over can change the game” – I never really understood what is funny about that.

5) “The ball raced to the fence like a tracer bullet” – Even Google doesn’t have an explanation for a tracer bullet yet!

6) On MS Dhoni hitting a lofted shot he commented, “Gut feel says this one is gone.” – His gut feel was miserably wrong, for Dhoni got caught in the deep.

7) “The MRF blimp, it’s enjoying the atmosphere.” – Is this MRF blimp an conscious being with feelings and emotions? Somebody explain, please.

8) Shastri: “Didn’t the air hostess catch it, Sherry?” Sidhu: “No Ravi, the air hostess was busy flying the plane. The pilot passed out when that ball whizzed by. That shot had altitude and that shot had attitude.” Need I say more?

9) To Sachin Tendulkar – “A pressure game. Good to put runs on the board?” – That’s how you stump the great man!

10) To MS Dhoni – “In the final if you put runs on the board, you can put the opposition under pressure” – Dhoni must truly be indebted to Shastri for this earth-shattering piece of advice.

11) It’s not an idli, it’s not a dosa, it’s not a medu vada, it’s not a rava dosa … it is an UTHAPPA!! – Every South Indian jumped with joy on hearing this and Uthappa was suddenly the poster hero!

Some of his pet dialogues that have made listeners numb:

1) “He has now got the license to play the big shots”. – Probably the government would be interested in finding out who is going about awarding such licenses?

2) “He takes the aerial route, he has hit that hard, it has gone high in the air, is it going to go all the way? Looks like it is going to fall short, there’s a fielder coming underneath it, and he makes no mistake.” – Kudos to this man! He has been saying the same sequence again and again on every lofted delivery for the past 12 years without a syllable missed!

3) “At the end of the day, cricket is the real winner.” – Why are the teams on the field then?

4) “What you don’t want at this stage is a run out.” – So according to him, there will come a stage when the team would want one!

5) “He knew exactly what he was doing.” – Yes, and we know what he was doing too. Can we move on now?