Satire: IPL looking to find sponsors for the spot-fixing controversy

‘Colgate is sponsoring my smile!’

In an extraordinary attempt to milk everything related to the IPL for money – the organizing committee has decided to monetize the ongoing spot-fixing controversy.

“We believe the spot-fixing scandal is a great opportunity for brands to connect with their target audiences. There is a captive base of people who are glued into every moment of the episode and we believe that any brand willing to communicate with this audience at this high-involvement point of time would have tremendous recall, visibility and brand salience”, said a marketing person from SET MAX, confusing the crap out of everyone in the vicinity.

If sources are to be believed, the BCCI wants to brand each and every moment of the spot-fixing controversy. As more people leave the fray every day (starting from BCCI treasurer Ajay Shirke, to IPL CEO Rajiv Shukla), SET MAX believes that it has the ability to develop a property such as “Infosys Exit of The Day” sponsored by the beleagured software giant. “Infosys sponsoring the exit of the day is a great strategic fit”, said the HR person of the company. “After all, we are no strangers to dissatisfied people leaving in droves everyday.”

Ankeet Chavan, disgraced Rajasthan Royals off-spinner, is getting married today, despite his involvement in the scandal. His wedding, it is learned, is being sponsored by Vijay Mallya. “I am, after all, the king of celebrations while pretending that everything is all right, while in reality, it’s a huge huge mess”, said Mr. Mallya, alluding to his lavish RCB and Force India spendings, while his airline bleeds itself to death and employees have been without salaries for the last 6 months.

As for the big man himself – N Srinivasan’s obstinate behaviour of refusing to step down despite everyone in the country clamouring for his exit has actually sparked off marketing minds in the company he represents – India Cements. “We have come out with a new campaign saying that no matter what the weather, no matter what the opposition, no matter how many people try to beat it down – a wall made with India Cements with obstinately stay put, refusing to move, becoming stronger and more annoying with each passing moment – just like our managing director!”, cooed a marketing person from the company in glee.

Public reaction to this has been mixed, as always.

“What nonsense! I can’t believe that they think they can make money out of the spot-fixing scandal also!”, outraged a Test match fan from Bangalore.

On the other hand, hardcore IPL fans are thrilled. “Yay! I was having withdrawal symptoms when the IPL got over last Sunday. Now we can enjoy like anything for a few more weeks!”.

This, of course, means more Jumping Jepang and Gaurav Kapoor. Keep your mute button accessible.

DISCLAIMER: This is a piece of fiction written for humorous purposes and should be taken in jest.