Satire: Rajinikanth to play Sir Ravindra Jadeja in his next movie

DISCLAIMER: This article is written for humour purposes and is not meant to offend anyone. Please read with a pinch of salt.

See the resemblance? Like two peas in a pod!

The much awaited news about the most adulated superstar in the country is finally out. Rajinikanth has decided what his next venture is going to be. The actor is going to be playing Sir Ravindra Jadeja, an Indian cricketing legend who is well-known for his magical spells on the cricket pitch. The much-anticipated movie is going to be directed by Ram Gopal Verma and produced by the IPL chairman, who is also addressed as the Minister of Parliamentary Affairs at times – Rajiv Shukla.

In a recent press conference, RGV said: “What you can also watch out for along with everlasting entertainment and suspense is that some of the cricketers who have featured in the Indian team are now going to shine on the big screen. We are planning to include a guest appearance of Bhajji and Sreesanth in an emotional scene.“ When asked about the prospects of Rohit Sharma being cast in the big venture, RGV answered that he is on the bench for the time being, but will always remain with the crew. “I am thinking of making him the comedian. This is the role that he can perform very naturally without much difficulty. So the moment we feel we need another comedian along with the present ones, he will be lifted off the bench and cast on the big screen to perform comedy,” said RGV, with a grin.

When asked for his reaction about the offer made to him, superstar Rajinikanth was oozing with happiness. “I have always admired Sir Ravindra Jadeja. Watching him play reminds me of my own movies. He can do anything and everything, just like me. The laws of cricket and common sense are not applicable to him, just the way the laws of physics are not to me. I am eagerly waiting to meet Sir and get his autograph,” said a visibly excited Rajini.

The movie is said to have a song in which Jadeja is batting, fielding and bowling at the same time, indicating the multiple talents this legend possesses. The story revolves around the life of a boy who was always made fun of during his teenage years due to his constant failures on the cricket pitch. The story goes on to tell how he came back and managed to put up some stupendous performances with bat and ball. However, an RGV movie is never complete without a pinch of uniqueness embedded in it. The twist here is that he is made fun of more and more as his performances get better by the day. And in no time, the ‘Rockstar’ of Rajasthan Royals (and now CSK) and the ‘Jaddu’ of the Indian cricket team transforms into a legend and a cricket visionary ‘Sir Ravindra Jadeja’ .

Learning about this development, Saurav Ganguly tweeted: “Only Rajinikanth can manage to do on the big screen what Sir Jadeja does on the pitch. No one else in India has the ability to perform this task. One more actor, according to me, who can compete with Rajinikanth for this role would be Chuck Norris”. When asked about how would he react if a rom-com based on himself and Greg Chappell would be planned, Saurav went silent for a couple of minutes and spoke absolutely nothing. What happened after that is off the record.

In spite of his busy schedule, Ravindra Jadeja managed to give an interview to one of our reporters after the sensational whitewash of Australian team by the Indians. When asked about the movie, he said: “I have recently read about this in the newspapers. I am pretty sure that Rajini cannot enact my role perfectly, because the only one who can be me is me. But anyway, hope he does a good job and does not stain my hard-earned image.” He also expressed his worries regarding RGV being the director of this movie.

The Indian captain M. S. Dhoni was extremely happy hearing the news about this movie. “I always knew that he is someone very special, you know, as he has played a very important part in rebuilding Indian cricket. We got him like an oasis in the desert, you know, he stood up as a legend when all the experienced players were retiring from cricket. I would also like to thank RGV for giving a job to Rohit, as I was worried about his future. I also request him to give a chance to Viru and Bhajji also to act in the movie, just to keep them occupied when we tour South Africa and New Zealand,” said a smiling MSD, as he was spotted buying some hair dye from a store.

Shane Watson, the Australian captain for the last Test, refused to comment when the press gave this piece of news to him. The Australian government has already planned to ban the movie in Australia, as it may lead to unrest among Micheal Clarke’s fans. “Due to tremendous pressure from the citizens and fan associations, we are forced to declare a public holiday the next time Clarke gets out to an Indian bowler other than Jadeja,” the Australian Prime Minister announced yesterday. Meanwhile, CSK owner N Srinivasan also commented, saying: “All this became possible just because he is a part of CSK. Believe you me, the next ‘Sir’ is going to be Murali Vijay”.