Satire: Statistics point to Pawar's reappointment

What goes around comes around: A new statistical study shows that Sharad Pawar is most likely to return as BBCI President. (Getty Images)

With the betting scandal in Indian cricket reaching monumental levels, trade analysts have slashed bets on who will take up the role of BCCI President. Armed with new techniques of advanced cross-sport statistics, a new study has shown that ex-BCCI chief, Mr. Sharad Pawar is now the forerunner for the post in the near future.

CEO of FakeStats.com, Mr. Mehondas Moanan said, “This IPL betting scandal has, unexpectedly, opened up avenues for companies such as mine in the field of cross-sport analysis. One thing that we noticed was an uncanny similarity between the BCCI and Chelsea Football Club, in terms of the appointment of the man in charge.

“I shall explain. When we were carefully following the entire fiasco, we found that the incumbent in both the clubs was under severe pressure. Also, in both cases an interim boss was appointed. In Chelsea’s case, it was Rafa Benitez and in the BCCI’s case, Mr. Jagmohan Dalmiya. What is even more striking is that the both of them have had similar relevant work experience, with Benitez managing another team in England and Mr. Dalmiya, of course, a former chief of the BCCI.

“In both cases, the man widely tipped to take over is a man who held the job formerly. In Chelsea’s case, it was Jose Mourinho and in the BCCI’s, Mr. Sharad Pawar. We also noticed that in recent weeks, Mr. Pawar has come out and said that if he was running the BCCI, all this would have never happened – essentially, he was evoking the dearer sentiments of the Indian public. Jose, prior to his move to Chelsea being confirmed, was also mouthing off in the Spanish press about how a certain club in England loved him and how he was to go back. Precisely as he predicted, he is back at the helm of Chelsea Football Club now, and if the evidence is anything to go by, Mr. Pawar is now the firm favourite to be re-crowned the head of the BCCI.

“On the topic of the two interim ones, Mr. Benitez, in spite of leading Chelsea to Europa League glory left the club. From India’s two warm-up matches, it looks as if India might well have a fair shot at the Champions Trophy but even if Mr Dalmiya leads India to Champions trophy success, evidence points to him not remaining as the chief of the BCCI for much longer. Thus the odds are stacked in favour of Mr. Dalmiya to become the next elected president.”

When Mr. Gurunath Meiyappan was approached, he remarked, “Ha! Mr. Pawar as the next President, want a bet?” Vindu Dara Singh was unbailable unavailable for comment. However, you can bet that we will do our best to reach him.

Disclaimer: All statistics that are quoted in the above news article are strictly ridiculous and unfailingly unreliable as this article is a satire.