Satire: The top 10 inner voices of Indian cricketers

Generally, it is said that women do not actually mean what they say and that their words have an inner meaning. But there are some incidents in Indian cricket that have an inner meaning too! Some of them are here:

1) The words generally that Mahendra Singh Dhoni says when he and Dinesh Karthik both would be playing in the same match:

I would be keeping the wickets as Dinesh is a better fielder than me.

The inner meaning: Dude Karthik, you really suck at wicket keeping. I really do not know how Indian cricket survived before my debut, keeping you as the specialist wicket keeper in the squad.

2) The words said by Yuvraj Singh in a post match press conference when asked about his feelings as he proved himself in the bowling department in the match against Afghanisthan:

I am relly feeling good as my bowling in the middle overs helped the team to register a very important win in the world cup. I am really looking forward for the match against England.

The inner meaning: Thank God Kevin Peitersen was ruled out of the England squad for the World Cup. I can now bowl fearlessly in the match against England. I am safe.

3) The words said by Gautam Gambhir regarding Dhoni after a match against Australia, in which team India could manage a win because of the massive six hit by Dhoni in the ultimate over of the match:

Dhoni should not have taken the match till the final over, he could have finished it a bit earlier.

The inner meaning: This fellow always tries to steal the fame at the end of the day. Such a cheap guy who always waits for a chance to show off.

4) The words said by Dhoni in reply to Gambhir’s words:

It really does not matter to me if the team won the match in 25 overs or 50 overs. I just want the team to be on a winning track.

The inner meaning: Dude, you are teaching me how to wrap up a match! Forgot the World Cup final? The way I grabbed the man of the match award, putting your innings to a side.

5) The words said by Rahul Dravid ahead of the Perth Test this year:

We really are looking for some inspiration.

The inner meaning: We really got bored of looking at our stumps getting shattered very frequently during our batting.

6) The words said by Ganguly in a recent press conference regarding Sachin’s retirement from international cricket:

Sachin has been a great asset for Indian cricket. Let him decide when to retire from cricket.

The inner meaning: Come an Sach, quit the game when you are in a respectable position. Dont let your wife’s age dominate your batting average.

7) The words said by Harbhajan Singh after he was selected for the T20 World Cup:

I have been improving myself a lot during the days I was out of the team. I really felt bad when I was kept out for the Australian tour.

The inner meaning: Who knows, had I been in the team the Test series against Australia, I would have allowed Ricky Ponting to regain his form very easily.

8) The words said by VVS Laxman to the media during his retirement:

I am listening to my inner voice.

The actual meaning: I really do not know if that voice was mine or one of the members of the selection committee.

9) The words said by Sachin Tendulkar after Sehwag broke his record of a double hundred in ODIs:

I am happy about the fact that someone who has broken my record is an Indian.

The inner meaning: You stupid Viru, I thought that I could be awarded Bharat Ratna for my double hundred as I was the only one to achieve that feat till yesterday.You really spoiled my party man.

10) Dhoni adopted the rotation policy in the recently concluded triangular series against Australia and Srilanka, saying that three seniors (Sachin, Sehwag, Gambhir) in the side would cause the team concede 10-15 more runs when compared to one of them being replaced by a youngster. And ,after Dhoni said these words, Sehwag took a magnificent catch in a match against Sri Lanka. And Sehwag said these words to the media after the match:

Did you see my catch?

The inner meaning: But,how did Dhoni come to know about my laziness to run in the field, which no one could find out through out my career. Oh God, I have to be attentive from now. If not, some youngster may replace my spot in the team forever.