The Rio Olympics is in full swing as athletes from all over the world are putting in their best efforts to secure a medal at ‘The World’s Greatest Show’. It has been an enthralling time so far with Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt, the Olympics’ two greatest attractions playing a major part already.
India has struggled and is yet to record her first medal in the event. That said, a number of Indian athletes have done us proud with their performances at Rio.
While a number of the world’s best athletes are present at Rio, competing for their nations, there are a set of sportsmen who have been resigned to the role of spectators. At the forefront, are our beloved cricketers.
Cricket is not a part of the Official Olympic Programme at Rio 2016 and until such time that its call is heard by the powers that matter, cricketers have been resigned to the backseat.
Here, at Sportskeeda, we love our cricket and we love our favourite stars. So we couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to have cricketers participate in the Olympics, while not wielding the willow and flinging the cherry.
In the debut of the ‘SK Cricket Olympics’ series, we conjure up a 4X100 Metre Relay race between 5 of the best cricket playing nations in the world:
Note: This is a humourous piece and the views are not intended to be taken literally.
1) New Zealand
Team: Brendon McCullum, Trent Boult, Mitchell McClenaghan, Adam Milne
Predicted finish: 5th
Experience: A mixture of charging-in-to-bowl and acrobatics behind the stumps
Star: Brendon McCullum
The Kiwis entered the finals after narrowly beating the likes of England and Sri Lanka in the qualification round. For England, Alastair Cook dragged his team back, while for Sri Lanka, Angelo Mathews picked up an injury during the race, hurting his team’s chances.
The Kiwis might feel lucky to have earned a spot in the finals, where they might be outperformed by other powerhouses. They will rely heavily on a quick start by Brendon McCullum. Brendon’s athleticism belies his age and his team should be in a good position after the first 100 metres. Trouble however looms as they rely on 3 of their quick bowlers to get them over the line.
Mitchell McClenaghan cuts an imposing figure when he runs into bowl, but he might not be as deadly in a 100 metre dash and might drag his team back. He has a habit of staring down his opponents for long periods and that might cost him time as he picks up the baton from McCullum.
Adam Milne is on the way to becoming the fastest bowler in the world, he will look to replicate such form here. He is the youngest of the lot and will be expected to plug the gap on the leaders in the middle of the race.
Trent Boult will be delegated with running the final 100 metres, Boult, who is both fast and athletic, is as quick as any over a 100 metre distance. Reports have emerged that Boult is considering changing his name to Bolt prior to the event and this might have an effect on the race.
2) Australia
Team: David Warner, Steve Smith, Nathan Coulter-Nile, Glenn Maxwell
Predicted finish: 4th
Experience: The team are experts at playing mind-games against their opponents during battle
Star: Glenn Maxwell
The Aussies are undoubtedly the rockstars of the cricket field. Over the years, they have boasted of a number of athletic, well-built players who have dominated the game of cricket. They sailed into the final round, but did struggle in the earlier qualification rounds that were held in Sri Lanka.
The start is crucial for the Aussies as they will look to distract their opponents and gain a crucial mental edge in the race. David Warner will be trusted to get them off to an electric start. The pugnacious 29 year old hates settling for second place and will get his team off to a good start.
Nathan Coulter-Nile will take it on from Warner. He will look to run straight and do his job, maintaining a dead eye focus as he passes it on to Steven Smith.
Steven Smith will surpass all expectations with his performance. While he might not look like a natural, sometimes defying the physics of running, he will do a very commendable job with his unique style.
Glenn Maxwell will be trusted with the final 100 metres for Australia. There are no doubts over the Australian’s talent or athleticism, but a lot will depend on which Glenn Maxwell turns up on the day, as he has been plagued with inconsistency throughout his career.
3) West Indies
Team: Dwayne Bravo, Andre Russell, Jermaine Blackwood, Carlos Brathwaite
Predicted finish: 3rd
Experience: Being ‘Champions’ around the world and receiving special training from Usain Bolt
Star: Andre Russell
At first sight, the West Indian team for the 4X100 metre relay looks the most impressive. All of their athletes are well-built, athletic and look like they belong on the track. The West Indies team did not have to take part in the qualification rounds, with their mentor Usain Bolt pulling a few strings.
Jermaine Blackwood will be delegated with the start. He’s the least famous among the 4 stars. He made his name for his running, rather than his batting against India recently and was a shoe-in for the relay thereafter.
He will pass the baton on to Carlos Brathwaite. Brathwaite, is one who is not very satisfied with his role in this squad. When questioned as to why he was not satisfied, he said he performs best in the last part of the race, and if we were not convinced of his answer, he asked us to contact a certain Ben Stokes from England.
Andre Russell will go 3rd. Watch out for him as he has promised to go one-better than Usain Bolt over a 100 metre stretch and we don’t doubt him. He might just be the most impressive looking cricketer in the world.
It is upto Dwayne Bravo to complete the job. One does not know what to expect of the athlete from Trinidad and Tobago. He might break into a jig, he might wheel away in celebration like he does after taking a wicket, or he might, just might, get his country over the line with a solid performance. And then perform a jig.
4) South Africa
Team: Faf Du Plessis, Dale Steyn, Kagiso Rabada, AB De Villiers
Predicted finish: 2nd
Experience: They have finished runners-up in the last 3 championships
Star: AB De Villiers
The South African relay team is so talented that they mulled sending the quartet for all the events in the Olympics. AB De Villiers is a hockey, tennis, rugby and badminton champ. People tell me he’s not too bad at cricket either. They sailed through qualification, finishing 1st in all the races.
Kagiso Rabada is entrusted with starting the race for them. Rabada has such an impressive physique that he is the gold-standard that youngsters in South Africa have been told to aspire to growing up. He will get his team off to an impressive start.
He will pass the baton onto Dale Steyn. Steyn will be determined to do well with his most dangerous weapon - his ability to scare the hell out of people while running. If that does more damage to his team or his opponents, still remains a mystery.
Faf Du Plessis is a born athlete. He will run third and will be trusted to run the 100 metres completely unperturbed by what’s happening around him, before passing it on to AB De Villiers.
AB, with his unique, 360 degree version of running is the most talented of all the athletes that are participating in the race. He is, arguably, the most talented human alive and there are very few things that he can’t do. For some inexplicable reason however, he will stumble at the final hurdle and the South Africans will continue to wait for the elusive gold.
5) India
Team: Virat Kohli, Ravindra Jadeja, MS Dhoni, Stuart Binny
Predicted finish: 1st
Experience: They were heavily influenced by movies like ‘Bhaag Milkha Bhaag’ and ‘Chak De India’
Star: MS Dhoni
The Indian team is one that has worked hard to get into the position it is in today. In comparison to their opponents, they did not have a history of being very athletic and had to put in extra effort to compete with the world’s best. Qualification was a bumpy road for India, they faced arch-rivals Pakistan in a do-or-die battle for the final spot, and won.
Virat Kohli will start things off for the Indians. Kohli was initially slated to anchor the race, but he insisted that he should be promoted to running the first leg. Sources have informed us that the screen-time for the racer that goes first is the highest and thus has promoted such a decision. Kohli is modelling himself on Cristiano Ronaldo and is one of the world’s best athletes now. He will perform admirably, while sparing a few harsh words for his opponents.
Ravindra Jadeja will pick up the baton in one swift movement, nearly throwing it to the next guy, before realising that he isn’t holding a cricket ball. Not to be outdone however, Jadeja completes his 100 metres in very quick time and hands it on to Binny.
Stuart Binny was a surprising choice in the Indian relay team with many experts questioning his place in the squad. It was later revealed that Binny is the perfect man for the job, having gained previous experience rushing in with the drinks during cricket matches at regular intervals. He will do a good job and pass it on to MS Dhoni.
MS Dhoni waits, looks around, waves to the audience, lets his opponents pass him before clicking into gear to perform the famed "finishing act". He will complete the 100 metres in record time with a perfect photo-finish as he wins gold for Team India!
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