Test Cricket shoots itself in the face

The other day, I realised that there might be a thrilling denouement to the third and final Test between Sri Lanka and Pakistan in Pallekele.

Despite the time difference, I bravely pulled a sickie and woke up for the start of play at 6am.

After some reasonably sensible – if a little cautious – batting from Pakistan, Sri Lanka were set a target of 270 from 71 overs, at a run rate of 3.80.

To put this into context:

- Sri Lanka had scored at a rate of 3.35 in their first innings.

- The pitch was flatter than a Russian gymnast’s chest.

- Sri Lanka had Thisara Perera up their sleeve, fresh off an outstanding 75 off 86 in the first innings. In addition, they had Nuwan Kulasekara and Angelo Mathews as players who are adept at finding the boundary and guiding a chase respectively.

- Together with Paranavitana and Samaraweera as bona fide ‘dig in’ players, and Sangakkara and Jayawardene as world-class players who can glide effortlessly through gears, Sri Lanka had the perfect batting line-up to engineer a chase – if they wanted to win.

- Mohammad Sami was bowling.

The Scene:

We’ll take this from Tea on Day 5, when Sri Lanka were cruising along serenely at 132/2.

At this stage, Sri Lanka required 139 runs from 34 overs, at a rate of 4.08. With a long batting line-up and plenty of scope for big-hitting, they had Pakistan at their mercy. Even a defensive ‘first, do not lose’ approach could have left Sri Lanka with 100 off 20 overs with 8 wickets in hand.

For those who say that Sri Lanka didn’t want to risk any sort of loss, I would point to them that three overs after Tea, Pakistan needed 8 wickets and their odds to win were 100/1.

But, even this was not forthcoming. Mahela Jayawardene took to the crease after Tea, and killed the game, in the process making Chris Tavare look like Chris Gayle.

He dead-batted Ajmal and Hafeez without even the most primitive run-scoring intent, although his innings ended on 11 off 44 after he bizarrely attempted a paddle-scoop.

Mahela chuckles: “Well, we won the series, right?!” Not much hope for Tests if this is the attitude of our captains.— Alternative Cricket (@AltCricket) July 12, 2012

“I think it’s fair to say that the attitude was to win,” Jayawardene said. “I think we cruised until the last hour and half. But when I got out, we said ‘no, we’ll close shop.’”

I have a lot of respect for Mahela Jayawardene, so these disingenuous comments that insult the intelligence of his audience do a lot to denigrate his pristine reputation as a cricketer of the highest repute.

Sri Lanka didn’t ‘close shop’ after he got out – we thought Mahela might anchor the chase; we didn’t expect him to bring down the damned ship.

A few thousand came to watch Sri Lanka at Pallekelle, along with hundreds of schoolkids who came in for the final session, and let’s not forget this feckless writer-cum-medical-student who took the day off work.

I can safely say that I won’t be going out of my way to waste my time again, and I’m sure many others will feel the same.

Ultimately, Sri Lanka shook hands with Sangakkara still glowing on 74*, needing 76 off 9 overs. Thisara Perera, fresh off a successful first-innings thrash, was not even afforded the opportunity to have a go.

We bring in DRS, fight against three-Test series, and make martyrs of ourselves to raise awareness of the BCCI’s intransigence towards Tests…all for what?

Misbah-ul-Haq celebrates beating Hanif Mohammed’s record as a 14 year old in 1972.

“I was really surprised they put the shutters down and never tried to go for the runs. I don’t know what happened…the way the wicket was behaving, scoring was really easy on it, they could have gone for the target.”

‘Who said this?’, I’m sure you’re wondering. Well, it was Misbah-ul-Haq. Yes, the same Grandpa Misbah who crawls along during a chase like a slug up a flight of stairs.

When Misbah-ul-Haq tells you that you’re going too slowly, you should take note.

Almost a year to the day after Dhoni’s Dominican Disaster, where India put the game into disrepute by shaking hands with 86 needed off 90, with 7 wickets in hand, this Test was a most unwelcome reminder about one of the key gripes with Test cricket.

They say that T20, IPL, mercenaries, the BCCI, John Terry, and Scientology are variously to blame for the perceived lack of interest in Test cricket.

But no, none of these are to blame for killing off what is quickly becoming a sporting dinosaur.

Ultimately, Test cricket kills Test cricket.