TipToeing Sreesanth Runs Secret Dance Academy [Scoop]

Many of us have have forgotten this high on hormones Indian bowler who showed some promise during his brief span as a medium-fast bowler. He played his last ODI on 2nd April, 2011 against Sri Lanka and last test on 13th August, 2011 against England which means it has been more than a year since he played international cricket. All one can remember is his antics on field and the slap scene with Harbhajan which left him crying and many of the spectators tearful with laughter.

He’s been in and out of news and has been fighting with niggling injuries as most of his bowling subordinates in India. The last time we heard, he has been suffering a toe injury. Rather strange, it piqued curiosity of IDSD (Indian Dancers Statistical Department) and coerced them into some detective journalism. Having been under the radar for a few months now for IDSD, some delightfully interesting things have surfaced. Kerala, the state in southern India Sreesanth hails from has seen a 300% growth YoY in terms of number of dancers coming from the region. Not only do these dancers have a knack of prancing on toes, their hairstyles also undergo makeovers every alternate week. Another allusion, although rather racial, is that these dancers don’t mingle well with Turban friends from up north.

This outcome was a very strong pointer towards Sreesanth playing a role in this sudden burst of dancers. Also, some due diligence from IDSD gave more proof. A thorough background check on Wikipedia showed the ingenious nature of IDSD and they figured out that, “Sreesanth’s brother Dipu Santhan owns a music company in Kochi and his sister Nivedita is a television actress in Kerala. His brother in law, Madhu Balakrishnan is a famous South Indian playback singer!” Finding irrevocable incidence about Sreesanth’s inclination towards entertainment, IDSD setup a committee to investigate further.

The committee setup went around the state of Kerala looking for evidence. And that, they found in abundance! With support from Harbhajan’s foe, Andrew Symonds, Sreesanth had setup discotheques, where along with fun and frolic, visitors were trained in tip-toe dancing. In one such excess incident, Sreesanth had broke his toe while colliding with a table and hence the ‘toe injury’. Talking to PTI yesterday, Sreesanth said “I have started running now. I am in the National Cricket Academy (NCA). Hopefully, in three more months I should be fit to play first class and I am looking at, hopefully, getting back to the selection process by December-end.”

But IDSD highly doubt this claim. These dance academies don’t have a formalized name and place but are based on an invite-only mode to places decided at the very end. There are groups on WhatsApp with different names who’re called at random times and places to impart training to. And all this is just to keep up the facade of a struggling cricketer so that the money keeps in rolling. But the IDSD has been successful in cracking down this issue and will soon be reporting the issue or maybe joining the institute. If you want to join the clan, please break a toe and get admitted to the nearest hospital!