What goes through the mind of a batsman struck on the helmet

Trying to negotiate the quick and nasty stuff from a genuine fast bowler is arguably the toughest of challenges facing any batsman. However, since the advent of helmets, the impact of a blow on the head has reduced significantly.

Nevertheless, the particular moment that the ball crashes onto the grill can open up a wave of thoughts with some of them veering towards the jocular side of things.

Let us take a look at five such thoughts that go through a batsman’s mind after being struck on the helmet.

(Disclaimer: The author has himself played club cricket and been struck on the helmet quite a few times (albeit against gentle medium-pacers). Hence, he can somewhat understand the difficulty that a batsman faces against the short ball. This article is meant to be taken in a lighter vein and intended purely for humorous reading.)

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#5 Wait, did I actually sign up for this?

I could have spent my time writing another autobiography instead

As soon as the ball thuds on to my helmet (Yup, from now on, I am taking a middle-stump guard), the mind begins to race. The first one that crops up will be the countless stars (or lack thereof) surrounding the dizzy head. Amidst all the clouded thoughts, there is a prickly one which stands out due to its sheer inevitability – I didn’t actually sign up for this.

They say you can witness your entire life within a few fleeting glimpses as the end looms. Though not quite the same in this case, the focus does tend to shift to those formative years. Out of all those things that I could have done with my life, why did I choose to step onto the arena even as a blood-thirsty speedster lay in wait?

Gardening (not the fake one batsmen tend to do on the field) or an air-conditioned office job might just have been better alternatives.

#4 At least, I was not hit in the unmentionables

Unlike when you get hit on the unmentionables, no one laughs at you here

Once the initial pain and shock start to subside gradually, the mind reconciles with the fact that he could have been hit at much worse areas. The abdomen (lower part of it, to be precise) is an unlikely target for numerous fast bowlers. Once the ball slams onto the box protector (thank god for this invention), everyone around me including my own team mates would erupt into a cacophony of laughter as if someone had pulled off an ingenious party joke.

At least, by getting hit on the helmet, I have avoided a major embarrassment. If you still do not believe me, you are welcome to take a look at what happened to the usually phlegmatic Younis Khan here.

#3 If the bowler really cares, then shouldn’t he be not aiming at my head?

Why in God’s name are you checking on me – to bowl another bouncer?

One of the biggest mysteries of cricket is on offer when a bowler comes towards the batsman to check on him after delivering a well-aimed bounder. Summoning the energy and will of all who have at least held a bat in their hands, I put forward a humble request to those antagonistically inclined bowlers.

If you really care about me, then never ever send the ball flying towards my head again.

I mean, why come up with this fake concern? Your intention is only to unsettle my bearings and goad me into getting myself out. In order to convince you of a fast bowler’s ruthless and unrepentant mindset, I present to you ladies and gentleman one Roy Gilchrist.

#2 How on earth did those guys face the fast men without helmets?

Is this guy for real? Did not bother with them closed things covering the head

Ok, I have been struck on the helmet. You could be forgiven for thinking that the testing time is already over. Nope, it isn’t. The toughest part is what happens next. It won’t be the last time the bowler fires a sharp bouncer at me. For all I know, the next one can come in the very next delivery.

At this point, let us take a couple of minutes to salute those brave batsmen who spent all their careers fending off and taking on the menacing speedsters without the protection of helmets. I assure you that I did not get to see Viv Richards at his peak live (perhaps, the only regret in my life) and have only reveled in his aura through old videos as well as written eulogies. Come to think of it, did this guy truly exist?

After all, who walks out to bat sans a helmet even though it was available during the latter part of his career.

#1 A perfect opportunity to show off bravado

Just because you’ve hit me, it doesn’t mean you’ve got me

As the mind steadies itself and the focus reappears, I have only one thought now. Me being hit on the helmet has provided me with an opportunity to show off my bravado. There is a buzz of expectation in the air as the crowd shapes up for the next part of the duel.

The cold-hearted pacer is discussing something with his captain. Perhaps, the skipper wants him to go for the bouncer-fuller one theory. Unfortunately for him, I have deciphered his plan. Is there a better story in the game than a stylish batsman following up a bouncer with an exquisite cover drive? The feet is moving well again, where would I rather be now? Only on the cricket field, I suppose.