100 bizarre football stories – Part 9

20. Low blow for Sir Alex

Drunken thug Kevin Reynolds was jailed for 15 months in 2007 for punching Sir Alex in the groin. Fellow Scot Reynolds pleaded guilty to assaulting the Manchester United manager outside a London railway station and attacking and racially abusing a police officer. The attack left Sir Alex doubled up in pain and the officer, ironically named Peace Toluwa, with a cut upper lip after he was headbutted while trying to restrain Reynolds. In evidence Reynolds was said to have staggered towards the manager before saying, “I’m sorry Fergie. I did not know it was you,” but he then chanted: “Fergie, Fergie, shut your mouth!” – a football shout common in Scotland.

19. Swindon ups – And downs

Swindon Town’s promotion to English football’s First Division in 1989 lasted just ten days without a ball being kicked. After winning a play-off final in May to gain promotion to England’s elite, the club was relegated two divisions by an FA commission for financial irregularities. After admitting 35 charges of illegal payments to players stretching back four years, Swindon were denied playing Liverpool and Manchester United and forced to meet some of the poorer sides in English football. However, on appeal Swindon’s relegation punishment was commuted to the Second Division instead of Third Division.

18. Hare we go!

Bulgarian international Hristo Stoichkov chased a hare around Barcelona’s pitch during a 1990 match. He was furious that the animal had caused him to stumble and miss a goal opportunity. Stoichkov, though lightning fast, didn’t catch it.

17. Wrong question

When questioned at a 2002 press conference about Sunderland’s loss of form manager Howard Wilkinson rounded on a questioner by asking: “What do you know; how many England caps have you won?” “Actually,” replied former England captain turned journalist Jimmy Armfie,”43.”

16. From defeat to invention

Newcastle United fan Gladstone Adams is reported to have invented car windscreen wipers following his team’s 3-1 defeat to Wolves in 1908. Returning home from the match, he found himself in the middle of a snowstorm and fed up with having to pull over and clear with his hand, Adams came up with the idea of mechanized windscreen wipers.

15. Rock star kit row

Sunday league football team Queen’s Head Rangers from Buckinghamshire got £800 of shirts when indie band Babyshambles front man Pete Doherty sponsored them in 2009. League officials were concerned that a picture of a much-publicized junkie singer and the words “F*** Forever” were on them.

14. Crossing a striker just couldn’t handle

Crossing of a very different kind landed Brazilian World Cup winning striker in hot water in 2008. While recovering in his homeland after surgery, then the AC Milan player was caught up in a sex scandal with three prostitutes. After booking into a motel with them, Ronaldo said he discovered the hookers were men. Ronaldo alleged theft and extortion of $30,000 while one of the prostitutes counterclaimed that Ronaldo threatened him and used drugs, which he denied. A police chief said: “Ronaldo said he just wanted to amuse himself, that’s not a crime.”

13. Coin clash

Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher was so furious at being struck by a £1 coin thrown from the crowd in an FA Cup tie with Arsenal in 2002 – he angrily threw it back. It cost the defender a red card, a £40,000 club fine and a temporary loss of his England place.

12. Naked aggression

Adrian Bastia’s tackling of a streaker in 2008 earned him a red card. The Greek player went after the naked invader during his side Asteras Tripolis’ game with Panathinaikos and tripped him, sending the invader sprawling.

11. What a sauce!

Diego Simeone berated his Argentinian teammates to be more manly after they celebrated goals with “The Ketchup Song” dance in 2002.

Read some of the other stories from the series here:

100 bizarre football stories – Part 8

100 bizarre football stories – Part 7