12 Memorable & funny football quotes

Here’s a list of 12 hilarious, classic football quotes from some of the legends of the beautiful game!

1) “I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don’t know into what religion yet.” - David Beckham (Think David, think!)

2) “We lost because we didn’t win.” - Ronaldo (The former Brazilian striker likes to keep it simple)

Here’s Ronaldo again with a classic quote!

3) “When you swap shirts at the end of the match you expect it to smell bad, but Beck’s smelt really nice.” (Looks like the Beckham family won’t be inviting Ronaldo for dinner!)

4) “Sometimes in football you have to score goals.” - Thierry Henry (What about the other times, Thierry?)

5) “I’ve had 14 bookings this season – 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.” Paul Gascoigne (Gazza on his special counting skills)

6) “I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.” - Mark Draper (The former English midfielder was spotted in Milan searching for the Nou Camp)

7) “I tried to watch the Spurs match on television in my hotel yesterday, but I fell asleep.” Arsene Wenger on his sleeping habits.

A couple of Kevin Keegan specials!

8) “The substitute is about to come on—he’s a player who was left out of the starting line-up today.”

9) “Chile have three options—they could win or they could lose.” (King Kev should take up Maths with Gazza)

10) “I’ve never wanted to leave. I’m here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.” - Alan Shearer (Newcastle fans must be looking forward to meeting Shearer’s ghost)

11) “It’s one of the greatest goals ever, but I’m surprised that people are talking about it being the goal of the season.” - Andy Gray (We’re surprised too, Andy)

Today’s special list of quotes ends with none other than the Special One himself.

12) “Please don’t call me arrogant, but I’m European champion and I think I’m a special one.” - José Mourinho