Manchester United have been underperforming all season. This is despite a £250 million spending spree since Louis van Gaal took over. The Old Trafford faithful have grown tired of the stale football and endless sideways passing with the Theatre of Dreams turning into the Theatre of Dreaaams……
The football has been boring at Manchester United for a while now. Louis van Gaal has had trouble imposing his philosophy on the club. The players look disinterested and are not performing to their capabilities this season.
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Off the pitch, though, Louis van Gaal has not failed to provide some bizarre and crazy moments of entertainment.
Nothing less could be expected from the man who reportedly bared his cojones to the Bayern Munich dressing room to prove he had ba**s big enough to drop anyone from the team. We list his craziest, strangest and most bizarre moments as Manchester United coach.
5) Baffling tactical decision-making
For a coach who has won it all with clubs like Barcelona and Bayern Munich, Louis van Gaal has made a number of tactical decisions which just do not make any footballing sense to anyone apart from him.
Manchester United fans were mystified when the team earned a corner against Queens Park Rangers. The reason, their lumbering centre-back, Phil Jones had run to the corner flag to take it.
While we do not doubt Jones’ footballing ability and Van Gaal’s tactical acumen, it is difficult to avoid the nagging feeling that Wayne Rooney or Angel Di Maria would have been a far better bet at corner taking. Fans are now just waiting to see Marouane Fellaini line-up a corner kick.
Manchester United lost to Tottenham at White Hart Lane for the first time in 15 years last Sunday. Louis van Gaal sent super-sub Ashley Young on for Marcus Rashford to change the game. With Anthony Martial also playing, fans expected Young to take up a position on either flank with Martial moving into his favoured centre-forward role.
Louis van Gaal though, not one for straightforward solutions, decided to play Ashley Young play as a striker when their best hope of scoring goals, Anthony Martial was wasted on the wing. The Red Devils, to nobody’s surprise, failed to score and lost the game 3-0.
Apart from these moments, the United faithful have seen Marouane Fellaini on the wing, Ashley Young as a central midfielder and in form striker Marcus Rashford as a right-back against Liverpool.
4) That press conference after the West Ham game
After a draw against West Ham last in 2015, Louis van Gaal was ironically accused of using long ball tactics by then Hammers manager Sam Allardyce. Considering that the battering ram that is Marouane Fellaini was being played as striker the statement could have some justification.
Whether the comments were true or not is up to interpretation, but they did serve to rile up Van Gaal. Having had his massive ego hurt after his “philosophy” was debunked by Sam Allardyce as long ball tactics, he went on a rant reminiscent of Rafa Benitez’s “facts” press conference.
Van Gaal turned up at the press conference with a mission in mind. He had the club’s press officer sheepishly giving out sheets of paper to the journalists at the conference countering Sam Allardyce’s jibe at his tactics.
The sheets of paper proved that the long balls played by his team were mostly switches of play and sideways passing, which was a bit of a mystery as Fellaini was playing as a striker and the balls should have been played to him due to his aerial ability.
3) His players need to be “horny”
Ahead of a vital Europa League tie against Danish club FC Midtjylland, Louis van Gaal was at his inappropriate best. Manchester United welcomed the Danes to Old Trafford with the Red Devils needing to overturn a 2-1 deficit from the first leg of the tie.
Saying that the criticism directed towards him and the players would affect the performances on the pitch, he urged his team to respond by being “horny”. He wanted them to play in a horny manner so they could counter Midtjylland, who would be playing the match of their lives.
While Van Gaal was justified in calling for hungrier performances from his players, asking them to be horny in games may not have been the best way to ask for it. The tactic worked so maybe Louis is on to something other coaches do not know yet.
2) The drunk tirade at the end of season awards
Louis van Gaal made a slightly intoxicated appearance at the Manchester United end of season player awards last year. Louis van Gaal gave an entertaining performance that would put his underperforming teams to shame.
At the charity auction, before the awards were given out, Ryan Giggs beat Louis van Gaal’s bid. Slightly annoyed at his assistant showing the cheek to rival him, he slapped Ryan Giggs on the back of his head much to the surprise of Giggs and everyone sitting around them.
It was then time for the manager of Manchester United Football club to give a rousing speech. Louis van Gaal did not disappoint. Visibly tipsy, he repeatedly stated that club had 13 points from 10 games before they recovered to come 4th in the league that season. After that was done he shouted, “Hallo, Hallo, listen to the manager” to none in particular.
The Dutchman later returned to the stage and said that he was particularly disappointed with that fans night. Stating that Ryan Giggs was always right and he added that there was a lady who played the saxophone brilliantly and should be applauded.
The comments are yet to be completely understood, just like his philosophy. But in the words of Gary Neville, it was “the best/funniest 20 mins I’ve ever had”.
1) The dive
Louis van Gaal is known for his stoic presence on the Manchester United bench. He is seen diligently taking down notes on the game being played. His reactions to events in the game are limited to a few words in his assistant, Giggs ear or hand gestures lamenting a mistake or goal scored by his team.
It was a big surprise then seeing Louis van Gaal get up from his seat and argue with the fourth official about an Alexis Sanchez dive. Moments later, Louis threw himself to the floor, notepad and all, imitating Sanchez.
While it was heartening to see the Dutchman up from his seat, speaking in favour of his players for once, it left the fans in the stadium in splits. It is ironic that this is the manager in charge of managing serial diver Ashley Young.
