5 hilarious predictions for the rest of the summer transfer window

The exponential growth of finance in football has been evident again this summer transfer window. Whilst Manchester United spent in excess of £75 million to lure Romelu Lukaku to Old Trafford, Manchester City have become the first ever Premier League outfit to spend more than £200 million in a single transfer window, the majority of which was invested in their defence.

Such scattergun spending has unfolded before August has begun and there is no sign of it slowing down either. The likes of Phillippe Coutinho, Neymar and even Cristiano Ronaldo have been heavily linked to world-record breaking transfers away from their respective clubs and it seems very few deals have the ability to shock the football community nowadays. That said, it is still possible to encounter a handful of farcical transfer rumours which simply extend beyond the realms of reality and logic.

Here I have compiled a shortlist of five rumours in particular which border on the hilarious and ridiculous…

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#1 Robert Lewandowski to Manchester City

It is no secret that Pep Guardiola is in the market for another blockbuster forward to compliment Manchester City’s catalogue of defensive acquisitions this summer. Both Kelechi Iheanacho and Wilfried Bony are being heavily linked with moves away from the Etihad and with money evidently no issue for the Citizens, they are likely to bring in reinforcements.

Tucked behind far bigger rumours this window, it has been suggested that the former Premier League champions are eyeing a £64 million move for Bayern Munich’s Robert Lewandowski.

Not only is such a price tag incredibly unlikely to persuade Bayern anyway, but the club has also remained adamant this summer that the Pole is, quite simply, not for sale.

In June this year, speculation linking City’s rivals Chelsea and Manchester United with Lewandowski were met with great anger by the Bayern contingent, with the club later threatening to go to FIFA if clubs underhandedly approached their key frontman.

It was only in December 2016 that Lewandowski put pen to paper on a two-year contract extension with the German champions, keeping him at the club until 2021. There’s neither incentive therefore for Bayern to sell or for Lewandowski to find newer pastures.

#2 Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang to Tianjin Quanjin

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There’s no doubting that Gabon forward Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang has become one of the most sought-after forwards in world football at present, which is precisely why he will NOT be moving to China anytime soon.

The likes of Hebei China Fortune, Shanghai SIPG and Tianjin themselves have all been in the hunt for top talent in recent transfer windows but, despite having the finance to fuel such moves, they severely lack the prestige.

German football magazine ‘Kicker’ claimed earlier this month that Aubameyang has in fact already turned down a £70 million move to Tianjin, who offered the 28-year-old a four-year deal, reportedly worth £500,000 a week. If Aubameyang is to part ways with die Schwarzgelben this summer, it will be for a bigger club with bigger prospects.

The likes of Chelsea and Manchester City have also been linked with the Gabonese international’s signature and it’s likely they’d be prepared to offer not dissimilar wages to the Chinese outfit.

Ultimately, therefore, with a swarm of mega rich sides eager to acquire Aubameyang and the stagnating mediocrity of the Chinese Super League, a move to the Far East is off the cards for a few years at least.

#3 Neymar to PSG

PSG would have to table a world-record bid of £197 million in order to activate his release clause

Ordinarily, when a multi-million pound deal such as this starts to develop in the transfer market, it does materialise. That said, Neymar switching Barcelona life for the French capital is a move which seems completely implausible.

FC Barcelona are in superior position in terms of negotiating, with Neymar’s current contract running until 2021 and the Catalan club not needing to sell any players this summer. The club president Josep Maria Bartomeu has asserted countless times that Neymar will remain a Blaugrana player this summer, most notably when he claimed, "Neymar’s departure is not in club’s imagination; the club just thinks of keeping the best players like him, one of our main symbols”.

Neymar has appeared unsettled and frustrated by the inevitability of remaining in Lionel Messi’s shadow for the rest of his career and is reported to have targeted a move away to improve his chances of winning the Ballon d'Or, but the club are adamant they do not want him to depart.

PSG would have to table a world-record bid of £197 million in order to activate his release clause and even they would consider that sum eccentric.

There are also financial implications for the French outfit who essentially have to recoup as much as they spend under Financial Fair Play regulations, which would be a gargantuan task given that this would be a fee paid in one lump sum in one single window.

Members of the football community will oppose one another on this rumour for weeks to come but it’s fair to say that with the monetary hurdles PSG face and the life-changing implications for the Brazilian, this deal is unlikely to come to fruition this summer.

#4 Gareth Bale to Manchester United

The concept of United splashing out on another multi-million pound signing this summer is ridiculous

It’s difficult to deduce what is more laughable, the fact that Bale was ever linked with a switch to Old Trafford in the first place since joining Real Madrid or that it is still debated today. At the time of the Welshman’s €100 million move to Los Blancos in 2013, Bale described the transfer as a ‘dream move’, even implying that supposed late interest from the Red Devils at the time did not alter his decision in the slightest.

In October last year, Bale committed his future to the Spaniards until 2022 by signing an £18m-a-year deal and even the expected arrival of Kylian Mbappé for a world record fee from Monaco is, contrary to popular belief, unlikely to further complicate the situation.

In response to the suggestion that a move for Bale could be on for United, after all, José Mourinho announced, "I think it was clear that Bale likes Madrid, likes the challenge, likes the situation. He's in a club in a very good situation now.” Continuing, the Portuguese claimed, "I never felt a desire from him to leave, so why lose time and energy on that? No.”

There is therefore conclusive evidence that Bale does not want to leave Madrid and if Mbappé is to join the Spaniards, it is likely to only enhance Bale’s desire to impress rather than to negate his loyalty. Even if the extraordinarily unlikely circumstances do arise whereby Bale opts to depart Madrid, the concept of United splashing out on another multi-million pound signing this summer is ridiculous.

#5 Kylian Mbappe to Arsenal

Real Madrid now look set to launch an insane £161 million bid for the youngster

In the early phases of this summer’s transfer window, this was the talk of the town. During one’s daily scrolling through pages of the latest transfer news, the rumour affirming that 17-year-old Mbappe was on his way to the Emirates was seldom far away.

Arsene Wenger loves procuring the best French talent available and with it the thought that Sanchez was imminently departing, Arsenal were looking for attacking reinforcements.

Then came the £52 million arrival of Alexandre Lacazette from Lyon and the passing suggestion that Sanchez may well stay put after all; from this point, the rumour died. The football community has recognised that the chances of Arsene Wenger spending more than £100 million in one transfer window, something he has never done before, are very slim and so a move for Mbappé has since been off the cards.

In the meantime, other sides have stepped up their interest in signing Mbappé, most notably Real Madrid, who now look set to launch an insane £161 million bid for the youngster which would most likely blow all other competition, bar Manchester City, out of the water. It seems then that Wenger is more likely to resign as a manager than to table a bid for Mbappé and that’s saying something.