Dani Alves’ theatrics
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The purpose of Dani Alves’ life is to play for Barcelona, dress up like a crossover between a clown and a hobo, and make derogatory remarks about Real Madrid. And, oh, make Greg Louganis insecure about his position as the best diver ever.
The Brazilian right-back is an integral part of Barcelona’s system. His incredible runs and attacking sense give Barca the width necessary to operate with freedom and smoothness. However, there is also another thing which makes him such a valuable asset to the Blaugranas.
When the going gets tough, they say, the tough get going. Not Dani Alves, though. He falls on the ground, clutching his leg while writhing in pain and agony that no normal being could bear.
The world is filled with grief and misery, with many people dying due to starvation and whatnot. And Dani Alves feels for them, hence he likes to show that he cares by thumping on the floor after the most minimal—and often, none—contact and rolling around the floor while weeping for those poor souls.
And he loves doing this a lot in El Clasico as it is a spectacle that is seen by millions of people worldwide--the single most powerful place and time for him to show that he cares.
