Faking News: An Interview With Harry Redknapp (Humor)

A lighthearted fake interview with the triffic Spurs Boss Harry Redknapp:

(No offense to any Spurs fans)

Q. Mr.Redknapp, your views on the current riots?

H: Ummm Errr I think they are triffic! The season does begin with a bang!

Q. You are over the moon after the game vs Everton was called off, any reason behind your exuberance?

H: Yes, its because my players will have more time to prepare for tonight’s rioting.

Q. Have you thought of helping the Police in stopping the riots?

H: Absolutely, we offered them Gomes to catch the vandals.

Q. Away from the riots, how is the transfer window working?

H: Its been good. We are working on how to unlock the window before August 31st 22:59.

Q. Luka modric has been creating some trouble, You wish to shed some light on it?

H. Luka Modric is very happy to remain at Tottenham, but he doesn’t like to be holed up 24*7 inside a room with no windows.

Q. Reports suggest you have promised him and Bale some big names to make them stay?

H. Yes, me and Mr.Levy have listened to them and have identified a few targets. Jean-Jacques Misse-Misse, Lucas de Deus Santos and Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink. Any other Big names should surely help us.

Q. The Papers say “In all confusion Harry Redknapp has accidentally signed himself in a deal worth £17 million.” Is that true?

H: Ummm yes, there has been some confusion, me and the board will soon sort it out.

Q. How do you regard other team managers in the premiere league?

H: I admire Arsene Wenger’s vision. He managed to foresee the riots long back and so he made sure that the trophy cabinet stays empty, and Arsenal threw away the games at Emirates cup. Also I’m jealous of Kenny Dalglish. I had to go all the way to Spain to get mugged. But all he had to do was call Mike Ashley!

Q. The team now begins its campaign against Man United. Your views?

H: Off the record its only a formality. We actually parade our players before Sir Alex, if he likes anyone, he will offer us cash straight up.

Q. Your targets for the season?

H: To sell our stadium naming rights to the highest bidder and challenge City for the 4th place.

Q. Mr.Redknapp, people believe you are in running to be the next England manager. Are you interested?

H: Absolutely! The FA needs somebody who can Talk and understand simple English. Fabio Capello can’t even understand what my nephew Lampard is saying half the time, so I am the right man for the job.

Thank you for your time Harry. Hope the readers enjoyed it just as much as I did. We will be back again with another triffic interview.

Edited By Leelaprasad