Arjen Robben, his left foot, and the beauty of predictability

Most of you reading this don't play football to make a living. Yet, most of you would know what to do if you are ever put in a situation of having to defend against Arjen Robben. You do not give him space on that left foot of his - that cannon attached to his left boot.

For years and years, defenders around Europe have had to bear the brunt of having given the Dutchman the space to shoot on his left foot. You'd think they'd know better by now.

If a cold Bavarian Tuesday night was anything to go by, you'd say defenders don't yet know better. Somehow, Robben still manages a way. Somehow, Robben still manages to get the ball on his left foot, manouevre it around, and somehow... There's space for him to shoot with his left foot.

Death, taxes, Arjen Robben cutting in on his left foot and shooting to score.

It's just that routine.

Come on now, Robben has been playing professional senior football for 18 years now! What have you learnt by seeing him? What are your preparation videos about Robben showing? What are your analytics men telling you?

How on earth can you still let him score like that?

Why, Benfica, why? But let's cut them some slack, you cannot really blame them, for that really is the genius of the man. For years, defenders have known what Robben wanted to do, for years, Robben has done what he has wanted to do.

For years, opponents have known what was coming from Robben. For years, opponents have not been able to stop that cut in from the right flank-smack it into the net with the left foot routine.

What chance did Benfica have in what has been an awful campaign already? Robben's powers have waned, he isn't lighting up footballing arenas with his explosiveness as often as he used to.

But, on Tuesday night, as the Allianz Arena rejoiced Bayern's best start to a Champions League campaign in a long time, there he was, a slight bald-headed man, reminding the world of his powers. Reminding the world that his left foot still exists, reminding the world that the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was to somehow make defenders think that he was going to do anything else.

That first goal, you'd be forgiven for thinking that a Robben at the peak of his powers would've found it hard to get out of the cul de sac he found himself in. But there he was, somehow waltzing his way past three men. All three men were left looking at each other and wondering what had hit them.

Well, Arjen Robben had hit them. That is the challenge of defending against him. You know what he wants to do. You know he will do that. Yet how do you stop him. How exhausting must it be? How absolutely stupid must a left-back feel? Those poor souls...They know what's coming, yet they're helpless.

Helpless. Benfica were just that. He'd done it once to open the scoring for Bayern, and 17 minutes later, he'd do it again. He doubled Bayern's lead. German Conti, Ruben Dias and Andre Almeida knew he was cutting in after receiving Thomas Muller's shot, they knew he was shooting and yet, he surprised them.

He surprised them by shooting exactly when they did not expect him to. Both Conti and Dias half went to ground a couple of times while Robben manoeuvred the ball into position, but when he pulled the trigger, they just stood there. They looked at each other. They looked at Robben wheel away. They heard Seven Nation Army ring around the Allianz.

They weren't alone. Robben had done it plenty of other Contis and Almeidas. A football romantic can only hope that a fair few more will get the same treatment as he enters the twilight of his career.

All this isn't to say that Arjen Robben is a one-trick pony, far from it. This is to show you about Robben's mastery of his greatest skill. His greatest skill doesn't have anything to do with his miraculous ability to manoeuvre that little round thing at his feet. His greatest skill lies in the head, and what he does to the things inside his opponents' heads.

It's Robben's ability to master the when that gives him that edge over the defenders who know the what and the how.

There's predictability. Then there's that - Arjen Robben and that magical left foot. It's beautiful.

As that running joke on the worldwide web has gone, the year is 2068, and an 84-year-old Arjen Robben is still cutting in from the right and curling it into the goal with his left foot.