Arsenal FC: Another season goes by

It’s the holidays, we’re back to boring weekends accompanying the parents to weddings of people we have never met, texting women and early dinners. This year has been a drab one, much like a twin of last season. The same heartbreaks in pre-season, the choking early season and the turnaround towards the end.

Yet again, karma chose to fail us, with the Batman’s sidekick smiling ear to ear and pumping his fists in the air amidst red and white confetti. I am not one to indulge in schadenfreude, partly fearing the aforementioned karma, and the other part because I don’t think the Spuds deserved to agonizingly miss out on Champions League football, again. But, well, haha.

Nasri’s performances have been so mundane, I don’t feel the need to exhaust another sentence on his downtrodden career.

As a fan, we’re always sniffing around for the faintest of positives, to point out to the United fan two seats down at the bar, as reasons we’re going to topple them next season. Pundits claim results and trophies mean everything, but we know better, or so we would like to believe.

Another year among Europe’s elite means we get to reset the only alarms we ever love to hear, but for the club, it is 20 mil in the bag and a couple of decent players. Stevan Jovetic seems like a done deal. Papers claim we’ve signed the less famous Yaya.

Arsene Wenger enjoys obsessing about players for years without doing anything about it, like in the case of Jovetic, who was a livewire when he was younger and shabbier looking, but that doesn’t mean he’s of lesser value now. Previous obsessions include Cazorla and Arteta. It’s funny how long Wenger decided to play the waiting game with Arteta, managing to snatch him just before he began to gray. Arteta and graying is a joke I will save for another day.

Now, to reviews of some names who have stood out this season.

Rambo – 7.5/10

His year started off with hiccups, with great performances few and far between unconvincing ones. The blame cannot be entirely on his shoulders as he had to fill in positions he disliked. He rather deserves a little praise for going about his business without grumbling like a certain No. 14.

He is essentially the perfect student Wenger could ask for (was probably a first bencher in school!). He turns up for training early, leaves late. It is a little worrying though, that he’s coming off as a football nerd, since he’s apparently absent in the social world, hardly a picture of him in the birthday parties and team dinners.

Anyway, what we desire is a good showing on the field, and towards the tail end of the season, they have been far from boring. He hasn’t been involved in too many goals, essentially because the nature of his game looks similar to Wilshere, who thrives on his boisterous engine.

Steve Bould rightly highlighted sometime halfway through the season about how with Ramsey, you’re always sure he’ll give it everything in every game. The transition from the Fabregas era at Arsenal has required the players to spend more time tracking back and winning the ball off the opposition, and Ramsey, Rosicky, Wilshere and Arteta have gotten well accustomed to this facet. What is lacking though, is his final ball, which one out of three times he manages to feed frustratingly behind a runner on the break, many times to the disgust of a certain No. 14. A little work on that over the summer, and we’re in for a Rambo chant from the fans next season.

Let us also pray his ‘Movember’ mustache this season is not a repeat of the gory one last season.

Santi – 9/10

Nothing more was expected of the Spaniard in his first Premier League season. A gem of a player, Santi Cazorla is clearly the whole package.

The only period when he was less influential was during mid-season, when Jack returned to the first team, and they had not sorted out their attacking roles quite well. There were phases in a couple of games when one of them would cut in with the ball from the touchline, dribble to the middle, and pass to the other, who took it to the other touchline and back. They sorted this out quickly enough, nevertheless.

Santi has set pretty high standards for himself, and is sure to come back with an even greater goal return next season.

Rosicky – 7/10

It’s been another patchy season for The Mozart with injuries, but whenever given the chance, he’s not shown any weakness in his game. It’s wonderful to watch him show incessant hunger for the ball at his age, charging to close down players.

He does not seem to have lost any of his blinding pace, but has made fewer driving runs like the ones he blazed at the tail end of last season. This is not essentially a letdown, as Cazorla seems to have taken up the mantle in that area, and we have no complaints.

A passionate footballer through and through, we hope Tomas resurrects his career with a couple of trophies. At Arsenal, of course.

Boss – 7.5/10

That fateful error at Wembley has seemingly spurred the Frenchman to heights we never thought he’d achieve, throwing our captain off his perch as first choice center back. Besides that naughty habit of squeezing the occasional clearance into his own net, his defending has been inspirational. His confidence is sky high, and I’m pretty sure at this rate, he’d win a first team berth for France at Brazil next year.

He’s also comfortable assuring the team of a champions league spot, scoring the goal that made the difference, second year running.

He will need to explain what his goal celebration meant though. Was he sucking his thumb toddler style or playing a trumpet?

No. 14 – 8/10

This player has finally shown the boss and the fans the damage he’s capable of inducing. He has turned a deaf ear to critics and taken the stage in style.

His finishing has been inch perfect, much like the idol he dreams to emulate. His runs have been more direct, he’s learnt to dribble, and dribble at the same mesmerizing pace.

The fuss in contract signing was inevitable, but he handled the situation gracefully. He could, though, stop voicing his frustration at the odd wayward pass from a teammate out on the pitch so exuberantly. He should know better, since his crosses, though improved, are still just a tad above par, par being ‘embarrassing’.

But, all in all, Theo’s been a gem, he’s been scoring against the bigger teams with aplomb, and like a friend told me, how can anybody not love Theo!

Poldi – 7/10

Did you know Paul Scholes had accumulated 66 caps for England on retirement? Do you know how many Poldi has already?

There is no wonder how this cannon was idolized in his hometown of Koln. Be it the thumbs-ups, the fist pumps, the robot palmed hi-fives, the ‘too hot to handle’ celebration against Montpellier, or the uncomfortable corner flag moments, this man knows how to work a crowd.

There is no greater heaven than watching him get his head down and thunder down the left flank. He is arguably the most inspiring player on the pitch on his day. Injuries and ‘lack of holidays’ after the winter break have seen his form and game time dwindle. There have also been accusations that he isn’t a big game player, but that looks like a a minor confidence issue that the German can shrug off. He also seems the moody type, but I hope the German doesn’t end up like Arshavin, and kicks on next season, because he is the hero ensemble we sincerely desire.

Giroud – 7.5/10

There is a thin line dividing strong self belief and pigheadedness. Our HFB is comfortably on the safe side of that line. One person who ventured across it, is selling undergarments in Turin.

Olivier Giroud has tried very hard to impress, and while his performances may have fallen short of his own expectations, there have been very few regrets, well, besides the fact that nine points against Sunderland, Chelsea and Everton would have put us above Manchester City in the table.

The Frenchman has intelligent ball control and a good first touch, and his lay offs are immaculate. His command in the air has thrown many a Premier League defender off balance.

The flaw is that every time he’s about to finish, he’s thinking about making the perfect replay roll instead of simply scrapping the ball across the line. This way, before he’s done coiling for the shot, the smarter defenders have already won the ball and are looking up for a counter. Still, the Premier League is a big step up from the Ligue 1, so we are assured better from him next season.

Nicklas Bendtner – 0/100

Since 0/10 seemed like too much.

We will be the only team in the top four next season retaining its current manager. This, and all the new money the club claims to be getting their hands on, puts us in a pretty good position for next season.

The League still seems a little far-fetched, and we’re obviously going to be drawn against Juventus/Barcelona/Real Madrid/Bayern in the pre-quarters of the Champions League, but the FA Cup, maybe?