#4 A non-iconic icon
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Before I explain what the subheading means, it's important to cross that bridge marked poser I had spoken of earlier. A poser is someone who claims to be a diehard fan of someone or something famous, but in actuality is not knowledgeable enough to appreciate or articulate about the same in full. Football fans hate posers. They hate posers more than they hate away fans in the stadium on match day. Didn’t get that last part? That’s why you need all the help you can get.
You will have to pick a player to faux adore. If you pick a legend of the game and it comes to light one day that there is a certain aspect of his life you don't know about, for example where his dog usually went number two in the afternoons and how much he (the footballer, not the dog) weighed in the Summer of '98, there will be murder in the offing. I'm not kidding. Football fans really do love the ol' bit of ultraviolence.
The wise thing to do here is to choose a player who most other fans don't care enough about. Google ‘Insert name-of-football-club-I-claim-to-love,’ followed by the words, ‘squad list 2010'. Find the players who didn't make many appearances (10 maximum). You'll know whether they're more famous than you actually want them to be by googling their name and finding out whether they regularly make Google's 'News' tab.
Note down the basics about this player and claim vehemently whenever possible that while he may have never fulfilled his potential, there was always something about him that you enjoyed watching. Might I suggest googling Alexandre Dimitri Song Billong or Laurent Robert? You are most welcome.
