Being Liverpool

LIVERPOOL, ENGLAND – SEPTEMBER 02: Brendan Rodgers the manager of Liverpool looks on during the Barclays Premier League match between Liverpool and Arsenal at Anfield on September 2, 2012 in Liverpool, England. (Photo by Alex Livesey/Getty Images)

On the 16th September, Fox Soccer will begin their six part behind-the-scenes documentary Being Liverpool. This series will delve into scenes on the training fields, in the gyms, changing rooms and boardrooms, at team meetings and at home. Here is a little taster of what to expect*:

Week 1

The programme begins with the F.A. Cup Final loss. Dalglish puts a brave face on things and speaks of his determination to stay with the club. He has a strong relationship with the fans and in the one-on-one camera time reveals how deeply he cares about the club. We see him receiving the call to an end of season evaluation meeting in America with FSG. Kenny prepares his notes and after a few rehearsals in the mirror he heads off. The cameras are not allowed into the boardroom as this is too sensitive a subject matter. The crew meet the manager on his way out and he tries his patented sidestep around them only to later concede that the meeting did not go very well. A spinning newspaper appears on screen to inform us of King Kenny’s fate.

Week 2

After some protracted foreplay with Martinez, a flutter of the eyelashes towards Deschamps and an all too optimistic yawn-and-try-to-get-your-arm-around-them style move for Pep, Brendan Rodgers arrives. There’s plenty of pomp and talk of philosophy. His first press conference is impressive as he bamboozles the media with his Socratic dialogue and his views on the mind-body conundrum. We get to see Rodgers meeting the team for the first time too. He has a treat in store for them to sweeten the news of this complete change in playing style. John Barnes arrives in to explain it through the medium of rap. The first training session doesn’t go too well. Joe Cole turns out to be more moyen than Messi. The session has to be ended early as Carragher ends up losing a bag of footballs by lumping them all into the car park. Old habits die hard…

Week 3

A bid for Daniel Agger from Manchester City is rebuffed. The Dane finds it harder to turn down what Clay Cross Town FC have to offer though and ends up packing his bags for The Devil Made Me Do It Ground. Rodgers continues his work to win over hearts and minds with a trip to Liverpool club Garlands, reintroducing the “This Is Anfield” sign to the tunnel, buying a racehorse and wearing a white Armani suit on the touchline.

“Aha! That’s it! The tie needs the white suit!” (Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Week 4

A week of showdowns.

1. Rodgers vs Sterling

Rodgers objects to Raheem Sterling‘s choice of music in the dressing .

“You play ‘Steady‘ again when I say something to you,” glares Rodgers, “you’ll be on the first plane back.”

2. Skrtel vs Shelvey

Racial tension also rears its ugly head(s) again in the dressing room as Martin Skrtel and Jonjo Shelvey compare summer tans. Neither man wins as they both match White Watsonia on the Dulux paint chart.

3. Suarez vs Woodwork

After Luis Suarez hits the woodwork yet again during a friendly, a ritual burning of the Anfield woodwork with Glenn Hysén on hand to live out his childhood dream if things get out of hand. The only incident of note however is Neil Ruddock’s arrival with a wild boar to spit roast over the fire.

Despite all of these confrontations, nobody takes Reina up on the number of times the ball squirmed through his arms in that day’s training session…

Week 5

Transfer madness sets in. Fabio Borini and Joe Allen arrive amid much fanfare as they clearly fit into Rodgers’ playing style. Nobody notices Samed Yesil and Oussama Assaidi. They spend eight hours in Accidents & Emergency before anyone realises that they are footballers that have been sent for their medicals. There is more frantic activity later as FSG prematurely announce a deal for Clint Dempsey on their website. The new PR department for Liverpool get thrown in at the deep end batting away questions about tapping up the American. Luckily, Sterling provides a break from the negativity with his promising performance against Manchester City.

Week 6

Deadline day. With Carroll gone, taking his Boyzone CDs with him, the hunt for a forward is on. The frenzied pack of fans standing outside the club gate hound the Sky Sports News reporter mercilessly for news. Rodgers waits. The crowd outside become increasingly impatient as the hours tick on.

Yet still, the Northern Irishman remains in Melwood.

No cars with tinted windows pass by.

And still Rodgers waits.

News of Dempsey’s arrival at Spurs Lodge sparks Dawn of the Dead-like scenes at the gates of Melwood with the Sky reporter being the unfortunate victim. Big Ben bongs on Sky Sports News and Jim White pulls down the shutters on the transfer window.

The Arsenal match does little to cheer anyone up. Rodgers reveals his disappointment which forces John W. Henry’s hand in pulling out the last resort. He had hoped it would not come to this of all things. An open letter.

We finish up with a shot of Rodgers staring at the free agent list. Emile Heskey and Michael Owen’s names are highlighted. The sound of the Anfield crowd singing “You’ll Never Walk Alone” fades in.

Somewhere, Kenny Dalglish watches on.

Somewhere, Rafa Benitez watches on.

The final shot appears:

Mandatory Credit: Dan Smith/Allsport

*Maybe…