Borussia Dortmund are mainstream, won’t somebody think of the hipsters?

So a few million people (exact numbers aren’t known yet as TV figures haven’t been released and Broadchurch was on one of the nights) tuned in over Tuesday and Wednesday nights to see the Fußball-Bundesliga’s finest take apart Messi and Ronaldo’s boys. Now the names on everyone’s lips aren’t Messi, Ronaldo and Mourinho but Lewandowski, Dante and Klopp. Both Bayern Munich and Borussia Dortmund produced footballing master classes to take apart Barcelona and Real Madrid respectively.

Tuesday found us watching the dynamic trio of Robben, Müller and Ribéry destroy a weak and fragile Barcelona defence. Backed up with the reliable and strong Dante, they controlled the game from start to finish and with the element of some luck, will take a four-goal advantage to The Camp Nou. Just 24 hours later and not to be upstaged by their Bundesliga rivals, Borussia Dortmund and their much loved manager Jürgen Klopp beat the famous Real Madrid with such effectiveness that it left us all watering at the mouth for an all-German clash at our very own national stadium on Saturday 25th May.

However, while the rest of us bask in the glory of two nights of near on perfect football, please spare a thought for the lonely and now homeless football hipster. Yes, the football hipster is now looking for someone new to tweet and blog about. Someone new to play on Football Manager and to scour the Sports Directs up and down the country for their home, away, third, European and national Women’s day shirts.

Dortmund shirts are now on a half price sale.

Wikipedia (the source of all knowledge on this website) states a hipster as:

“a subculture of young, recently settled urban middle class adults and older teenagers that appeared in the 1990s. The subculture is associated with independent music, a varied non-mainstream fashion sensibility, liberal or independent political views, alternative spirituality or atheism/agnosticism, and alternative lifestyles”

What Wikipedia fails to mention though is a football hipster loves Borussia Dortmund, wants Jürgen Klopp to be their dad and has argued with his mates down the pub that the trio of Gotze, Reus and Lewandowski are better than Brazil 1970.

There is much to admire about Borussia Dortmund and the Bundesliga. They have been off the radar to some football ‘experts’ and no doubt Alan Shearer never heard of Lewandowski until Euro 2012. As one commentator mentioned last night, Borussia Dortmund are in “uncharted territory” – yes, 1997 Champions League winners Borussia Dortmund are in uncharted territory. Morons. That said, if you know anything about football, you will know Borussia Dortmund have been kings of the Bundesliga for the past two seasons (until Bayern Munich retook their crown this season) and they have been building a team capable to challenging at European level for a number of years.

Borussia Dortmund was a football hipster’s wet dream. A massive club with a rich history, full of young and talented players and most importantly, off the mainstream radar. Even better for a hipster, they play in the Bundesliga. The Bundesliga, the league in Europe which has massive crowds, safe standing, affordable tickets and drinking on the terraces. Dortmund’s Westfalenstadion holds 80,645 passionate fans and can claim to have the largest standing area in European football (25,000 fans on the terrace called the Südtribüne).

The Südtribüne in full force.

Cheap tickets, beer in hand and safe standing? This is every Premier League fan’s dream! It will stay that as well, just a dream. Sky Sports, the FA and the Premier League will make sure of that with money ruling all. Recently the FA made it perfectly clear that the fans didn’t mean all that much to them when they announced that the FA Cup Final would be played at 5:15pm. This was mainly down to sponsorship, TV revenue and the well-known alcohol sponsors of the FA Cup. It wouldn’t happen in the Bundesliga.

So spare a thought for the football hipster, as finally Borussia Dortmund have become mainstream again. They’ll be loved by Chiles and his mates on ITV, Chelsea will now want to sign Lewandowski rather than Falcao (who is also now mainstream) and Sky will look to buy the rights to the Bundesliga. Where next for the lonely football hipster now Dortmund have gone? Napoli’s Champions League run last year turned them mainstream and St. Pauli have become too underground for even the most hardcore football hipster.

We’re looking for a football club with a rich history, young attacking players, a manager who likes to play football and have something unique about them…

We have a winner!