Could Anderlecht – PSG Be One Of The Greatest Champions League Games?

RSC Anderlecht versus Paris Saint-Germain could be one of the great European nights in the Champions League’s history. It has the potential to be one of those games that no-one ever forgets. Be warned, however, that these statements can only really be justified under the notion that, technically, anything is possible, rather than having any real meaning behind them.

Technically, Jose Mourinho could spend the rest of the season stripped all the way to fully-nude on the Chelsea touchline, eating Doritos in the faces of opposition managers. Technically, David Moyes could retire live, on the pitch in floods of tears, midway through Manchester United’s next match. In terms of likelihood, these are perhaps equivalents to Anderlecht’s group game with PSG being a spectacle which is remembered for much longer than the duration it takes for it to be played out. Except for the Moyes thing, he might do the decent thing and retire.

The essential problem for this game’s chances of being excellent is the imbalance in resources it represents. PSG are a nouveau riche, oil-backed club, whilst Anderlecht are from Belgium, where the big money is in chocolate. The end result of this is that whilst Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored a flying, backheeled volley at the weekend for PSG, not one player scored a flying, backheeled volley all season for Anderlecht. How can they compete?

PSG will expect to win comfortably. Like Manchester City beating Viktoria Plzen or Chelsea beating Basel, these games end up being walkovers in the worst sense. The super-power doesn’t put on a show in beating the minnow, it does just enough to get the points. For Anderlecht’s part, they’re filth, sorry, fifth in the Belgian Jupiler Pro League, so not even at the top of their game right now.

In terms of artistic quality, then, the best anyone can hope for is that Ibrahimovic turns up in Belgium like Ray in ‘In Bruges’. He starts out with ‘Why the eff would anyone come to Belgium?’, follows it up with accidentally revealing he killed a child and then breaks into an existential crisis whereby Belgium becomes a symbol for purgatory. In this scenario Edinson Cavani would be the Brendan Gleeson character who tries to pull Ray through.

But that probably won’t happen. It never does, does it? They just kick a ball around for an hour and a half.

The maths of the situation is this: PSG are all-but through the group if they win and Anderlecht are all-but out of the group if they lose. Here is the working-out involved in establishing that: PSG would be on 9 points, at least 5 points clear of the third placed team in the group after tonight, if they won, and would thus, realistically, need only one more win to go through. Anderlecht would be on zero points at the halfway stage, which is usually enough to see you out of any competition. Maybe they think they’re playing golf, where the lowest score is the best, but that would be an overly generous analysis.

The team news is like so: Both sides will be able to field eleven players, as normal.

Anything is technically possible, so if you want to sit in and watch this match to prove some kind of point to yourself or some ex-girlfriend then fine, you’re right, it’s possible that something fun could happen in Belgium tonight. It’s just that, come on, it’s highly unlikely. Better to keep your eyes on Moyes and that live-retirement party, probably.