Fantasy football: Gunners pull off sensational transfer deal

Disclaimer: This is an April Fool’s day prank, believe it at your own peril!

According to reports , Arsenal have agreed to sign Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid, with the superstar expected to formally sign a 300,000 pounds a week deal on the first day of the summer transfer window. The transfer fee is undisclosed but estimates range from 85 to a 100 million pounds.

Arsene Wenger was expected to spend more cash in the summer as Arsenal have announced healthy profits and a mega 150 million pound deal with Emirates airlines. But nothing quite like this was expected. This signing marks a big shift from Arsenal’s transfer policy and will surely satisfy the fans who have been clamouring for a marquee signing for years.

This signing is sure to break the British Transfer record and Ronaldo will become one of the highest paid players in England. Arsenal had previously broken the transfer record in 1995, when they bought Dennis Bergkamp from Inter for 7.5 million pounds. This will surely eclipse any other transfer this coming summer and will liven up the Premier League.

But how will Arsenal pay for this? Surely, breaking the wage structure will hit Arsenal where it hurts the most – the balance sheet. For that, Kroenke has a plan. The Emirates stadium will squeeze in more capacity by replacing the current 20″ seats with narrower ones. This will raise the capacity to about 70,000 seats and the extra 10,000 spectators will easily pay for Ronaldo’s lavish wages.

Ronaldo, it is believed, will be slotting in his preferred left wing position and puts into question the future of Andrei Arshavin at the club. Lukas Podolski may not be too happy about the signing either, but a world class player is likely to lift the team as a whole.

Until confirmed by Arsenal, such a transfer is likely to raise suspicions, especially given the timing. April 1 is not considered a good day for reliable rumours, but with Arsenal, what day is? Arsenal fans have become so pessimistic with regards to transfers, that even rumours of selling useless players like Arshavin are looked upon as unattainable fantasies. But with reducing debt and improved commercial deals, it is about time that Arsenal fans see an improvement in the quality of players that are rumoured to sign the club and it seems this is the start of such a trend.

Given the gloom surrounding Arsenal, it would seem more appropriate to link a player like Goetze with Arsenal on April Fool’s day, but Gooners deserve some ambition, even if it is pure fantasy.

Disclaimer: This is an April Fool’s day prank, believe it at your own peril!