10 most cringeworthy moments in modern football

Modern football is a universe in itself, revelling and thriving in its embarrasment of riches – money-wise, fans-wise and talent-wise. But, with all the popularity and exposure has come awareness, as far as players are concerned.Training off the pitch is as vital as training on it in today’s game, with players undergoing rigorous PR sessions as well as having to stringently follow regulations and codes of conduct. Yes, setting an eample and being role models to kids is important; but needless to say, it has taken a bit of sheen off the game, with players seldom crossing the line of conduct.But, when they do, it is absolute goldust for the paparazzi and social networks, for, there is nothing more funny than seeing renowned celebrities making fools of themselves. Here’s a look at the most horrifyingly disgusting, yet wonderfully hilarious moments in modern football.

#10 Gary Neville kisses Paul Scholes

When the two Manchester teams face off, sparks are sure to fly and emotions run high. The latter ran a bit too high for Gary Neville in the 2009-10 season though, as he gave a ditto encore performance of Al Pacino’s iconic kissing of Johnny Cazale in The Godfather Part 2. After Paul Scholes headed home brilliantly from a left-wing cross, his captain went on to hug him in joy, before famously kissing him flush on the mouth, triggering an avalanche of troll memes that have lasted to this day.

When asked about the incident, Neville sheepishly replied “It was a big game, bigger than ever”.

#9 Louis Tomlinson lets rip a stunner

Some would say seeing Louis Tomlinson, of One Direction fame, in shorts and cleats is a cringe worthy sight in itself, considering the level of contempt and ridicule the band has endured. The 23-year old helped the neutrals too, in jumping to the other side of the ship, unleashing a hell of a puke, at the Parkhead, in a charity match.

After coming on to the field to a chorus of cheers and boos, Tomlinson was cleaned up by a tackle from Aston Villa veteran, Gabriel Agbonlahor. Tomlinson had to leave the pitch as a result, leaving thousands of people disappointed. He saved the showstopper till he got off the touchline though, and then puked right at the feet of the fourth official. One thing for sure – football isn’t what makes Tomlinson beautiful.

#8 Joachim Low eats snot

Like a more high-profile offender who appears later on in the list, Joachim Low is also a repeat offender, with his felonies primarily including picking his nose and eating the snot, as well as rubbing his armpit and then smelling the hand. Not very subtle, I know, but the Die Mannschaft supremo could care less, as the theatres of his sins have been Wembley 2009, the 2010 World Cup semifinal, and last year’s friendly against Sweden.

It was during one these booger chewing incidents in the 2010 World Cup, that the Spanish commentator, Andres Cantor wryly said “He might as well have a glass of wine with it”.

#7 Joey Barton mooning

Picking out one incident from Joey Barton’s career is like going to a Harley showroom and being asked to pick out your favorite bike – next to impossible, as they are all better than the previous one. But as far as the just-for-laughs stakes are concerned, nothing beats him mooning the Everton fans.

For sheer spontaneity and brashness, this incident stands out in our list, as probably the best case of an “I-don’t-care-what-you-think” display. Neighbours from the Manchester side took absolute delight in the incident mocking the fans saying “the Scousers might as well have been looking at their mirrors”. Ouch.

#6 Jens Lehmann takes a quick leak

Jens Lehmann went one better than his coaching compatriot, as he found a football pitch under the scrutiny of millions of eyes, the perfect place to take a leak. In what was a Champions League fixture between Stuttgart and the Romanian club, Unirea Urziceni, the German custodian left no stone unturned to ensure his comfort, as he jumped over the advertising hoardings and took a quick piss. The model professional in the German never left though, as his eyes were fixed firmly on the ball(football) throughout.

The Sun succinctly headlined the incident “Jens Lehmann urinates during Unirea Urizceni match”. Alliteration at its finest.

#5 Rivaldo takes a bad fall

Every time Leonardo Di Caprio feels disillusionment and self-pity at the Academy Awards snub, he just needs to think of the Brazilian great, Rivaldo. How can the American possibly be given the Oscar when this piece of melodramatic acting at its finest, goes unrecognized? Now, not only did Rivaldo act like he had been hit by a bullet from a Kalashnikov rifle, he also managed to send the poor victim of circumstance, Hakan Unsal off, as the referee fell flat for Rivaldo’s double take.

One of the worst instances of gamesmanship seen in football, this incident left a black mark on one of the greatest players in the history of the Selecao. And, rightly so.

#4 Eric Cantona\'s Kung-Fu kick

“Out of the blue, and into the black”, sings Neil Young in his famous rendition of “Hey hey my my”. He might as well have been talking about the sorry Crystal Palace fan who was kicked square on the face by Eric Cantona, at Selhurst Park in the 1994-95 season. Having been sent off for a bad foul, Cantona took all the seething anger in him, out on an Eagles supporter, who was seen reeling as a result of the sweet chin music that Cantona dedicated to him.

The Heart Break Kid, Shawn Michaels would’ve been proud of the way the enigmatic Frenchman delivered this one. Kung Fu at its very best.

#3 Nature calling for Gary Lineker

Is it a torn hamstring? Is it an injured groin? Is it a broken femur? Nah, its Gary Lineker soiling his shorts on the pitch, against the Republic of Ireland. Italia ‘90 was a theatre to many of the games funniest and most controversial moments, with Lineker’s digestive meltdown, being the most hilarious of them all.

With the lights beaming and fans cheering the team on as they were playing against fierce rivals, Lineker literally shat himself on the pitch. Even funnier is the part where he imitates primitive man and wipes his hand on the turf after giving the crime scene a fine clean-up job. So, when haters say “Gary Lineker is full of shit” on Twitter these days, it is hard to disagree with them, yeah?

#2 Frank Rjikaard spits at Rudi Voller

Franklin Edmundo Rjikaard is without doubt, one of the greatest ever to have graced the beautiful game. The former Ajax, Real Zaragoza and AC Milan stalwart did his fair share to tarnish the name of the game too, in a checquered career. And, the most high-profile among all his misdemeanours was the double spit-rocket he launched on the German forward, Rudi Voller.

One of the most ill-tempered World Cup matches of all time, reached its nadir as the Dutchman spat not once, but twice in quick succession at the German, in Italia ‘90. Adding to the incredulity was the referee sending both of them off. The second gob that Rjikaard takes at Voller, is one of the most enduring images in World Cup history, albeit infamously.

#1 Luis Suarez biting, biting, biting

Nothing much left to be said about him, is there? Luis Suarez apparently prefers rival players to pork chops and French Fries, especially on big occasions, when the heat is on. It all began with Suarez biting PSV Eindhoven’s Otman Bakkal in November 2010, in arguably the biggest match of the season for the Amserdam giants. Incredibly, a Google search of the poor victim’s name is filled with results of that fateful night.

A change in atmosphere did little to whet the Uruguayan’s appetite, as his infamous chomp on Branislav Ivanovic massively overshadowed a stellar performance by Suarez. He returned with a bang though, apparently having turned a new leaf after the ensuing ban. Or, so we thought, as Suarez was caught biting for an incredible third time in Brazil 2014.

When Suarez did his Italian job on Giorgio Chiellini, the whole world looked up aghast and shocked. Needless to say, he was banned again. Can’t wait to see who gets fourth time lucky, now that he’s back on the field.