Football: Animals take over the beautiful game

The adeptness with which Edinson Cavani and Radamel Falcao have set off on their respective French adventures recently drew an unlikely admirer. Monsieur Arsene Wenger, even with his fondness for the footballers that ply their trade in his native league, is the kind of man who would rather plough through the depths of French football with a fine-toothed comb, forever on the lookout for another potential exponent of Wengerball.

For a man who has always been very vocal about the money that has now become the lifeblood of modern football as we know it, he went out of his way to lavish praise on the two superstars – exponents of the big-money move if ever there were any. Not very surprising, since what these two superstars possess, in frightening quantities mind you, is a primal characteristic that has sadly been lacking in Arsenal’s own play over recent years.

That of the animal, the fighter; the man who’s hunger and raw physicality all on its own is merit enough to hand him a starting berth in most line-ups. And it is a curious thing, this animal that burns inside the chosen few. It blurs the line between the preening superstar we see posing for the paparazzi, all suited up and slick; and the raw, invigorating specimen that makes the crowd swoon for more.

The animal has a unique allure to it; to those watching its exploits from the stands, there can be no greater rush. Somehow, whilst in the company of a crowd that has a life of its own, the animal transports us back to a simpler time. When thousands gathered inside arenas to watch Gladiators battle to their deaths, and stories of bravery and valor swept the lands, enthralling the multitudes. When the swish of a blade or the sting of a spear were all that separated a man from his maker – for is there a greater spectacle than watching the eternal battle of life and death unfold before one’s eyes?

And as the world grew to be more “civilised”, the animal found himself searching desperately for a stage that showed him for what he truly was. And lo and behold, with the passage of time, he was revelling in a spectacle of a different kind – sport. And it is here that he has been finding acceptance, adoration even, as the changing times called for more humane pursuits.

Football has always been a very physical game. Right from all those rainy days in schoolyards where feisty lads spend the majority of their time “kickin the shite out of each other”, to the rough-and-tumble of the English Premier League, there is no denying that you need to have the fight to take one on the chin, and still keep coming back for more.

But the animal takes this to a whole new level. Watching him in full flight is a joy in itself; a tribute to the beast that runs free in the Savanna. Nobody who has seen a rampant Yaya Toure, striding forward purposefully with the ball at his feet, impatiently brushing away the challenges of lesser mortals, will ever deny that it is a feat of magnificence rivalled by few others in this game.

Just like the silken skill that a benevolent God chose to touch Messi and Ronaldo with displays itself in radically different, albeit equally stunning colors, the animal too brings out a unique flavor in the game of each of its exponents.

The Iron Man of Italy, Gennaro Gattuso built a wildly successful career out of channelling the spirit of the animal. Deadly in his tackle and quick in his distribution, Gattuso formed the perfect cover for the artista Andrea Pirlo, as the duo, along with an inspired Fabio Cannavaro in central defense, turned the footballing world on its head by lifting the World Cup in ’06.

The Brazilian Hulk, in his own inimitable way, is not defined by the animal; rather he carries it around with a grace that is unbecoming of his broad frame. Almost as if in waltzing past a challenge with his sublime skill he absolves the animal of any responsibility, until a moment arises when an unfortunate challenger is knocked down to the ground by its overbearing presence. The Hulk walks on, unperturbed; a man who considers the animal a useful, but not a very necessary, ally.

Crisitiano Ronaldo, however, has whole-heartedly embraced the animal that erupted inside him when, as a wee lad of 17, he was taken to the cleaners repeatedly by the no-nonsense defenders of the Premier League.

Sir Alex Ferguson’s tutelage gave Ronaldo a tool that is today one of the deadliest in his range; one that he has exploited to its potential, to the point where it came back to haunt Sir Alex himself when his former protégé squared off against the master in a Champions League quarterfinal last year.

Hanging in the air for what seemed like an eternity, Ronaldo seemed to hold everyone in the splendour of that jump. Patrice Evra was kneeling at his feet, wide-eyed and helpless; whereas David De Gea might not even have been there for all the good it did him. The perfectly executed header that followed seemed to be a formality, the mundane bringing down of the curtains, so to speak, to tell the people that the show was over, folks.

However, things can go very wrong if one summons the beast without giving him the respect he deserves. Gabriel Agbonlahor, under an astute Martin O’Neil, was once the darling hopeful of the English masses; a powerful, quick and dynamic forward who was certainly capable of leading the England line in due time. But his over-indulgences in the gym eventually prompted then manager Gerrard Houllier to curtail his upper body workouts, because it was affecting his mobility on the pitch.

Thankfully, an electric Agbonlahor has been instrumental for The Villans this time around, and looks set to be called up for his country again.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic uses the animal to intimidate, before letting his genius flatten the opposition; while Roman heartbeat Daniele De Rossi exemplifies it with his every movement on the pitch. The puzzle that is Mario Balotelli unintentionally unlocks its potential from time to time, but his raw mind has been incapable of taming its rough edges thus far.

The animal is a manager’s dream, for he will bleed for the team every time he takes to the field. And because he is not confined to the intricacies of position, he can be unleashed in a myriad of ways. Moussa Sissoko and Yaya Toure have been phenomenal for their respective sides in this regard, while Carlos Puyol has been instrumental wherever the manager has played him.

Edinson Cavani could not have been given a better nickname. El Matador has been enthralling the Park De Princes since his arrival – the only complaint being that he has been chained to a wide position thus far.

But the animal will not fret over such trivial frills; because his is not to make reply, his is not to reason why, his is but to do and die. And a warrior must always follow his code.