Top 11 extracts from Andrea Pirlo's autobiography "I Think Therefore I Play"

One of the most iconic footballers of the modern era, Juventus' Andrea Pirlo has made numerous revelations from his illustrious career in his released autobiography I Think Before I Play. The 34-year old midfielder has talked candidly about almost everything, from his love for his PlayStation to Roy Hodgson calling him a dickhead.Here are eleven of the best extracts from the book, although we would strongly recommend you to read it yourself. Pirlo in his own words.

#1 On how close he was to join Chelsea

Andrea Pirlo was pretty close for a reunion with his Milan boss Carlo Ancelotti at Chelsea at the end of the 2008-09 season.

"Ancelotti was my motivation for agreeing to head to London but, in the meantime, Berlusconi had pulled out a second piece of paper," Pirlo explained."Listen, Andrea, you just can't do this, damn it. You're the symbol of Milan, a standard-bearer for this team, and we've already sold Kaka. You can't jump ship as well. It'd be a terrible blow, to our image as much as anything. We can't have everyone leaving." (The note Milan's ownerSilvioBerlusconi had left.)"Ancelotti and I spoke a fair bit on the phone. He wanted to bring me to London at all costs and cost was indeed the last hurdle still to be overcome. Insurmountable, as it transpired.Milan wanted too much cash and they were also pushing for Branislav Ivanovic to be included in the deal. Chelsea hadn't the slightest intention of letting the defender go."

"'Mr President, I really like all this talk of being a standard-bearer but my contract here is about to run out and those guys are offering me four years," Pirlo toldBerlusconi.

"'Where's the problem, Andrea? You can sort all that out with [Adriano] Galliani, can't you? Take it as read,"Berlusconi replied.

Pirlo: You sure?

Berlusconi:Absolutely positive.

"No sooner were the words out of his mouth than he shot out of the room to tell the media: 'Andrea Pirlo is not for sale. He's staying with Milan and he'll finish his career right here," Pirlo wrote.

#2 On then Barcelona manager Pep Guardiola wanting to sign him

I didn't need to be asked twice. In I went. The room was furnished in sober fashion and there was some red wine on the table. "Always a good start," I muttered to myself. Thankfully the most envied coach in the word didn't hear me. His way of speaking is very similar to mine not really tenor style, let's say. "Make yourself comfortable, Andrea," he began, his Italian absolutely perfect.

I wasn't really bothered about much else in that room besides the person who had summoned me. Guardiola was sitting in an armchair. He began to tell me about Barcelona, saying that it's a world apart, a perfect machine that pretty much invented itself. He wore a white shirt and a pair of dark trousers whose colour matched that of his tie. He was elegant in the extreme, much like his conversation.

[PepGuardiola] "Thank you for agreeing to meet me."

[Pirlo] "Thank you for inviting me."

[Guardiola] "We need you here, Andrea."

You could tell he wasn't a man to beat about the bush. After a couple of minutes, he'd cut straight to the chase. As a player, his job had been to conduct the play and as a manager he'd learned to attack, always with impeccable style.

Were already very strong, I really couldnt ask for better, but youd be the icing on the cake. Were looking for a midfielder to alternate with Xavi, Iniesta and Busquets, and that midfielder is you. Youve got all the attributes to play for Barcelona, and one in particular youre world class." [Pirlo quotes Guardiola.]

During that half hour I largely kept quiet and let him speak. I listened and, at most, nodded my head. I was so taken aback by the summons that my reflexes had slowed. I was more dazed than excited: shaken by the situation, but in a really positive way.

"You know what, Andrea: weve made this approach because thats how we do things round here. We dont waste time. We want to buy you right now, and weve already spoken to Milan. Theyve said no, but well not give up: were Barcelona. Were used to hearing certain answers but, in the end, things pretty much always change. Well try again with Milan. In the meantime, start making a few moves with them as well."

The discussions went on for a while and, ultimately, Milan didn't give in. I suppose it was always going to go like that. Back then, they still thought I had all my faculties and so they kept me, without ever getting involved in full-on negotiations.

(Eventually he didn't move to Barcelona as Milan were too reluctant to let him go.)

#3 On the fight between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Oguchi Onyewu

Pirlo also talked about the brawl betweenZlatan Ibrahimovic and American defenderOguchi Onyewuwhen both of them were at AC Milan.

"I saw them laying into one another like two bullyboys from the roughest estate. They looked like they were trying to kill each other: there were definitely some broken ribs, despite silence and denials from the king's buglers who said it was just a 'lively confrontation'. Those of us who'd witnessed it were put in mind of a mafia-style settling of the scores."

#4 On former Inter manager Roy Hodgson calling him a d**khead

I played a lot during my first season at Inter. The pre-season went very well and Simoni gave me a lot of time asa starter and as the first reserve.

Then Lucescu came who trusted the older players more, Castellini who replaced Lucescu thought I was okay whilst [Roy] Hodgson said my name wrong. He called me 'Pirla' [which is a Nothern Italian Milanese word for "d**khead"], perhaps understanding my true nature more than the other managers.

We went through four coaches that year (1999). Id wake up in the morning and not remember who my coach was.

#5 On Gennaro Gattuso attacking team-mates with forks

You could see the red mist coming down and he just wasnt able to hide it. We could tell what was coming and so wed commandeer all the knives. Gattuso would grab a fork and try to stick it in us.

Some of us ended up missing games because of one of Rinos fork attacks, even if the official explanation from the club was one of muscle fatigue.

Rino's word was law at Milan, and anyone new to the club was aware that the first thing they had to do if they made a mistake was explain themselves to him. Just having that knowledge drastically reduced the chances of people f***ing up.

#6 Football is better than sex

Being part of a team that belongs to everyone makes me feel good. A lot of the time, its better than sex: it lasts longer and if it falls flat, it cant just be your fault.

Take someone like [Parma striker, his former team-mate] Antonio Cassano. He says hes slept with 700 women but he doesnt get picked for Italy any more. Can he really be happy? I wouldnt be.

That shirt, with its Smurf-like blue, gives you a whole new image across the world. It takes you to a higher level. Much better to be a soldier on the pitch than in the bedroom.

#7 On Sir Alex Ferguson\'s decision to use Park Ji-Sung for man-marking Pirlo during the 2010 Champions League

Even Sir Alex Ferguson, the purple-nosed manager who turned Manchester United into a fearsome battleship, couldnt resist the temptation. Hes a man without blemish, but he ruined that purity just for a moment when it came to me. A fleeting shabbiness came over the legend that night.

At Milan, he unleashed Park Ji-sung to shadow me. He rushed about at the speed of an electron. Hed fling himself at me, his hands all over my back, trying to intimidate me. Hed look at the ball and not know what it was for.

Theyd programmed him to stop me. His devotion to the task was almost touching. Even though he was a famous player, he consented to being used as a guard dog.

#8 On Milan\'s loss to Liverpool in Istanbul

Its an enemy that I cant allow to wound me a second time. Its already done enough damage: most of it hidden far from the surface.Ill never watch that match again. Ive already played it once in person and many other times in my head, searching for an explanation that perhaps doesnt even exist.

It was suggested we hang a black funeral pall as a permanent reminder on the walls of Milanello, right next to the images of triumph. A message to future generations that feeling invincible is the first step on the path to the point of no return.

Personally, Id add that horrendous result to the clubs honours board. Id write it slap bang in the middle of the list of leagues and cups theyve won, in a different coloured ink and perhaps a special font, just to underline its jarring presence.

I thought about quitting because, after Istanbul, nothing made sense any more. The 2005 Champions League final simply suffocated me.To most peoples minds, the reason we lost on penalties was Jerzy Dudek that jackass of a dancer who took the mickey out of us by swaying about on his line and then rubbed salt into the wound by saving our spot kicks.

I could hardly sleep and even when I did drop off, I awoke to a grim thought: Im disgusting. I cant play any more. I went to bed with Dudek and all his Liverpool team-mates.Ill never fully shake that sense of absolute impotence when destiny is at work. The feeling will cling to my feet forever, trying to pull me down

There are always lessons to be found in the darkest moments. Its a moral obligation to dig deep and find that little glimmer of hope or pearl of wisdom.You might hit upon an elegant phrase that stays with you and makes the journey that little bit less bitter. Ive tried with Istanbul and havent managed to get beyond these words: for f**ks sake.

#9 On his love for Playstation

After the wheel, the PlayStation is the best invention of all time. And ever since its existed, Ive been Barcelona, apart from a brief spell way back at the start when Id go Milan.

I cant say with any certainty how many virtual matches Ive played over the last few years but, roughly speaking, it must be at least four times the number of real ones.

Pirlo v Nesta was a classic duel back in our Milanello days. Wed get in early, have breakfast at 9am and then shut ourselves in our room and hit the PlayStation until 11. Training would follow, then wed be back on the computer games until four in the afternoon. Truly a life of sacrifice.

(On a different chapter, he wrote, "I don't feel pressure ... I don't give a toss about it. I spent the afternoon of Sunday, July 9, 2006 in Berlin sleeping and playing the PlayStation. In the evening, I went out and won the World Cup.")

#10 On his panenka against Joe Hart

I made my decision right at the last second, when I saw Joe Hart, the England goalie, doing all sorts on his line. As I began my run up, I still hadn't decided what I was going to do. And then he moved and my mind was made up. It was all impromptu, not premeditated. The only way I could see pushing my chances of scoring close to 100%. There was absolutely no showboating about it - that's not my style.

#11 On being not allowed to join real Madrid

They were missing a vital piece of the story, namely that as things stood, I belonged to Real Madrid, not Milan. I was a Madrid player in my head, my heart and my soul. I had a five-year contract sitting waiting, and a salary that was out of this world.

One day you'd read that we were going to be relegated to Serie B, the next that we were looking at a 15-point penalty. The next again they'd be talking about us handing back trophies and having our titles removed from the record books. After a while I began to suspect that it wasn't Mark David Chapman who killed John Lennon. It had been one of the Milan directors.

The whole thing was an absolute shambles. Nobody had a clue what was going on and what Milan's fate would actually be, least of all me. One thing I was sure of, though: I would never drop down to Serie B. And if I had to leave, I wouldn't feel like a traitor. There was no way I was going to pay for other people's sins, if that's what they turned out to be.

"Hello Andrea, it's Fabio Capello here." Only one of the most successful coaches in the history of the sport.

"Hello, coach. How are you?"

"I'm great, and I imagine you're even better. Come and join us. We've just signed Emerson from Juventus and you're the man to play beside him in midfield."

"Okay then."

He didn't need much time to convince me. Less than a minute, I reckon. Not least because I'd already seen the contract. My agent had studied it in great detail and then shot off to Madrid.

I pictured myself in that white jersey. Pristine, and at the same time aggressive; a mean streak running through its unusual purity. My thoughts often wandered to the Santiago Bernabeu, the Temple, a ground that struck terror into opponents. Bruised and battered slaves at the king's banquet.

Tullio spoke first. "Andrea's going to sign for Real."

Then me: "Yes…"

Then it was Galliani, staring straight at me. "Andrea, my friend, you're not going anywhere."

He pulled out a little case from under the table. That made me smile, thinking it had been just as well hidden as Monica Lewinsky under Bill Clinton's desk in the Oval Office.

A contract then appeared from the case, with Mr. Biro (Adriano Galliani) adding, "You're not leaving, because you're going to sign this. It's for five years, and we've left the salary details blank so you can write in whatever you like."

Tullio just about ripped it out of my hands. "I'll keep hold of this."

He took his time, brought it home, read it and read it again. I went off to the national team training camp at Coverciano and, for a few days, I didn't hear anything. I thought it was a done deal: I was thinking in Spanish, dreaming in Spanish. My imagination was in overdrive, flying off to Madrid and landing somewhere between Plaza Mayor and Puerta del Sol.

And then my agent phoned me.

"Sign for Milan. Right now, they'll not let you leave."

"No…"

"Yes."

"Ok, fine."

You're then forced to tell the media a lot of crap; provided, of course, that they manage to ask you the right question. If they enquire whether it's right you'd practically signed for Madrid, you're duty-bound to respond hiding behind well-worn clichés and half-truths. You read a dull, lifeless script written by press officers with no talent or creative spark.

"No, that's not the case. I'm perfectly happy at Milan."

F*** off!

It's a pity it went the way it did. I'd have signed for Real in a heartbeat. They're a club with more glamour than Milan; more prospects, more appeal, more everything. They strike fear in their opponents, whoever they happen to be.

All that said, at the end of the season I had the consolation of winning the Champions League. It could have gone a lot worse.