If footballers were Star Wars characters

Star Wars hysteria is sweeping the globe once again with the release of Star Wars: Episode VII and, so far, the response to the latest masterpiece from JJ Abrams has been pretty positive across mainstream media. But try not to get too much of a “bad feeling about this” because this is a spoiler-free slideshow.Imagine a galaxy far, far away where footballers could swap places with some of the most well-known characters in the Lucasfilm empire. Now, how epic would that be?What better way for fans of football and geeky science fiction flicks to get ready for the launch of the new film than to have a read through our unique imagining of exactly that. Excited to find out who will make the cut and under what guise? Scroll on down to find out, and remember to sound off in the comments section with your own alternative imaginings.May the force be with you!

#1 Mesut Ozil (R2-D2)

Assisting Luke Skywalker, Anakin, Padme Amidala and many others are not undertakings to be entered into lightly. But R2-D2 is arguably one of the bravest and most supportive chunks of metal in the entire Star Wars universe, so it’s no wonder he is loved by so many fans.

Be honest, you’d struggle to name a footballer better at assisting than Arsenal’s Mesut Ozil which is why he is the beautiful game’s best version of an astromech droid, even though he bears an even closer physical resemblance to Admiral Ackbar (but don’t tell him we said that). Plus, the German international is as synonymous with the beautiful game as R2-D2 is with the seven-film George Lucas legacy.

Currently well on his way to becoming the player with the most assists in a single Premier League season (13 so far), he is sneaking up on Thierry Henry’s formidable record (20 in a season). What’s more, he might even get a Premier League medal for his efforts.

#2 Ronaldinho (Jar-Jar Binks)

Okay, so Ronaldinho isn’t everyone’s least favourite character. In fact, he is a lot of people’s go-to football personality due to the way he can conjure moments of magic from absolutely nowhere. But he does have the playful exuberance of Jar-Jar Binks, for sure.

There is a detailed fan theory out there that Binks was a trained user of the Force who was supposed to be the supreme bad guy in the most recent trilogy of prequels. But his story arc was scrapped by the writing team because his character became too much of a laughing stock.

It sounds far-fetched and a little dubious but it sort of fits in with Ronaldinho who was such a phenomenally gifted performer for so many years who won the World Cup, Ballon d’Or and so much more besides only to see his incredible talents fall by the wayside as he’s lurched disappointingly from minnow to minnow ever since fleeing European football.

#3 Cesc Fabregas (C-3PO)

C-3PO is one of a few characters who have featured in every single part of the Star Wars movie franchise saga. He’s an integral part of the whole series (and a personal favourite of yours truly), but which footballer does he bear a close resemblance to?

Well, considering he’s an intergalactic interpreter who is fluent in “over six million forms of communication” it’s only right to plump for someone who is handy in more than a few languages. So, who better to go for it than Spain international and current Chelsea player Cesc Fabregas.

Fabregas can speak as many as four languages (it’s not quite as many as C-3PO, but still pretty impressive) and is always on the lookout to further develop his skills at being a multilingual master. Also, as the ex-Barcelona star has been a little rusty in recent weeks he sort of reminds us of the rickety, bewildered C-3PO from Episode IV when he gets stranded on Tatooine with R2 – sorry, Ozil.

#4 Wayne Rooney (Jabba the Hutt)

Ordinarily, Wayne Rooney would walk into most teams around the globe because he normally has been a supremely talented footballer capable of getting the best out of himself whenever he wants. But the last few months have seen the record-breaking England international become something of a disappointing shadow of his former self, slumping to an unbelievable new low as he has struggled to find any semblance of form under manager Louis van Gaal.

While “Roo” isn’t exactly what one would call an over-sized galactic gangster, he certainly has been about as mobile and full of energy as Jabba the Hutt in recent times.

Out of form, lacking in energy and conviction and moving about the pitch with a lacklustre nature, it has been strange to see him fail to hit the highs he normally calls home. At least, he doesn’t look anything like Jabba.

#5 Samuel Eto\'o (Boba Fett)

Loyalty is a rare commodity in today’s modern game. The days of players plying their trade with one club for 15 or 20 years seems about as foreign and strange as George Lucas’s sprawling space story.

Instances of players kissing the same club badge week in, week out for a couple of decades are few and far between nowadays, and Samuel Eto’o is perhaps the best example to show this is pretty true.

Some consider the current Antalyaspor player as a bit of a selfish star, so they might even go so far as to think he’s a bit of a bounty hunter because he moves so frequently from club to club in search of the biggest wage packet he can possibly find. Now, that’s not to say he’s been unsuccessful at reaching the highest echelons of the game, but he’s certainly out for himself, much like Boba Fett in the original Star Wars trilogy.

#6 Cristiano Ronaldo (Han Solo)

It’s sort of easy to imagine Cristiano Ronaldo could play the iconic part of Han Solo just as smoothly as Harrison Ford does. Just picture the scene as Princess Leiah is torn away from the well-tanned Portuguese international by some Storm Troopers as he’s set to be frozen in carbonite in The Empire Strikes Back.

“I love you”, she says to him, before he drily, but charismatically replies “I know”. Yep, Ronaldo could definitely pull that off.

Combine this with the fact Ronaldo loves to attack with everything he’s got while Solo loves to welcome battle with his trusty blaster at his side, and it is clear these two are pretty well matched. Oh, and they both love money.

#7 Diego Costa (Darth Sidious)

They are both pretty cut-throat in what they do and have been known to cause a bit of a stir wherever they go. In all seriousness, though, there are a lot more similarities than just that between this pair.

OK, Costa is not an all-powerful, controlling Sith who is also a master of deception and tyranny (or is he?), but is pretty good at manipulating...defenders, tormenting those who attempt to get in his way and has always been pretty proficient at achieving lots of goals.

The Brazil-born striker tends to make quite a few enemies, has done his best to be as controversial as possible and seems hell-bent on becoming the best he can at what he does. We’re imagining he’s also pretty nifty with a lightsaber in hand because he’s quite a fiery and combative personality. We wouldn’t mind seeing a lightsaber duel between Mourinho and Costa on the sidelines instead of the usual harmless bib-throwing.

#8 Lionel Messi (Yoda)

A diminutive master who is deceptively poised at all times to deliver his genius touch of brilliance whenever he is called upon, we could be talking about either Yoda or Lionel Messi here, right? Similar, they are, hmm?

The Jedi Master is from a species unknown, and the same can surely be said of the wizard Argentine who is so good it’s feasible to think he’s not human at all, but a member of a totally evolved species hailing from a galaxy far, far away.

Small in stature but tall in reputation, the two are immeasurably intertwined. Need extra assurance? Just have a read of this quote and tell us it doesn’t apply to both...sort of: “Do or do not. There is no try.”

Messi is a brilliant personification of that philosophy as he has always found it so easy to achieve his objectives.

#9 Luis Suarez (Darth Vader)

Misunderstood, at times recalcitrant and a bit of a villain in many people’s eyes. Are we referring to Lord Darth Vader or Uruguayan international Luis Suarez? Well, in all honesty, it could be either one of the two.

They have both had a pretty arduous upbringing at the best of times, have gone through their fair share of controversy between one altercation and another (Vader imprisoning people, generally terrorising the galaxy with a death-like grip; Suarez biting, racially abusing opponents) but it’s redemption that really brings the two together in a weird collision of cultures.

In the words of the controversial supervillain Vader himself: “Tonight I had the chance to show people what I am really about after all the things that people had said, things that I kept out of. Thankfully that happened and I was able to show them who I really am.”

Oh no, wait, that was Suarez.

#10 Neymar Jr. (Luke Skywalker)

Raised from humble beginnings to become one of the most powerful knights in the history of the Jedi Order, Luke Skywalker's journey from sheltered orphan to incredibly gifted, wise, legendary character has been a fascinating one to chart. Audiences have grown as he has and the development of his persona has caused lots of debate and discussion along the way, so where does Neymar fit into our comparison?

Well, while it's true there are a multitude of footballers out there to have emerged from poor and underprivileged beginnings, you'd be hard pushed to find a superstar to have come as far as Neymar has in recent years. Once a little boy living in the favelas of Sao Paulo, he dreamed of making it big even then, something that means he bears an even more striking resemblance to Vader's son than at first appears.

There are wild rumours floating around that Luke and Kylo Ren, a new character from the latest movie on the dark side, are inexplicably linked which could strengthen the comparison between the Barca star and the prodigious Jedi because Neymar does have a mean streak to him and isn't exactly unfamiliar with making a few enemies along the way.