Footballing terms that should find a place in the Oxford dictionary

DISCLAIMER: The words were mostly invented by me and my friends and an overactive imagination at work. If you take offence too easily, this is not for you. These are all fake, just like most of the football ‘fans’ alive today. Also, if you’re very particular about grammar……. buy a dictionary!

You just got Zlatanized!

1) Zlatanize (Verb): To utterly pulverize. In Style. Preferably by Zlatan Ibrahimovic.

Example: England were Zlatanized by Sweden; By God PSG are Zlatanizing their opponents!; What a Zlatanising free kick!

Invented due to Zlatan Ibrahimovic

2) To do a Ramos (Phrase): To send a football into orbit in outer space using the simple penalty kick.

Example: I dont believe it, Andrea Pirlo did a Ramos!

Invented due to Sergio Ramos

3) Torres Goal (Noun): Miracle! Miracle! Hallelujah! Miracle!

Example: Oh my goodness Chelsea are ahead! Its a Torres Goal!

Invented due to Fernando Torres

4) Messimate (Verb): Pretty much similar to decimate. Completely destroy something or someone.

Example: Barcelona is Messimating their rivals. So whats new?; Messi will Messimate all records!

Invented due to Lionel Messi.

I kill you AND you team!

5) Pepefy (Verb): To mix up the WWE and Defensive football to the point of lethal effectiveness.

Example: What a Pepefying tackle it was!; Looks like he tried to Pepefy the opposing striker.

Invented due to Képler Ferreira i.e. Pepe

6)New Ronaldinho (Noun): Ultimate word of praise, meaning just one thing: Sheer awesomeness.

Example: Looks like Player X is a New Ronaldinho!

Invented due to Ronaldo de Assis Moreira (Ronaldinho Gaucho. And if you dont know Ronaldinho, you’re a disgrace to Football)

So I was like this, and she was….

7) Terryble (Noun): That feeling you get when your wife is alone at your house, and John Terry has just been spotted going inside.

Example: What happened to Wayne Bridge was so Terryble.

Invented due to John Terry

8) Baleing (Verb): Diving, stimulation etc. Also see Bale (Noun): Dive. Both often used in the Premier League.

Example: Was he just Baleing to get a penalty?!; What a Blatant Bale that was!

Invented due to Gareth Bale (4 bookings for stimulation this season)