Goalkeeper turns Striker – FAB isn’t CRAP anymore!

The Name is Fabia?ski…?ukasz Fabia?ski !

Arsenal against Manchester United, one of the most awaited clash of the season for a hardcore Gooner like me. I was all excited and eagerly waiting for the match, that was touted by many as “The revenge game” for the earlier defeat at the hands of Man Utd at old Trafford. There was still 5 odd hours to go for the match and the anxiety was getting the better off me, so I began reading “Viera: My Autobiography”, which was my birthday present and began recalling those epic encounters between these two teams at the beginning of the millennium. But soon the tiredness and anxiety took its tool and I fell asleep.

“Arteta passes to Wilshere who then passes it to Fabianski who’s in the box who dribbles it and shoots – GGOOOAAAAALL!!! Fabianski scores the winner for Arsenal. The young striker looks to be on fire and Arsenal have beaten Manchester United with an absolute stunner!”

And with that I woke up!!

Phew.. It was just a dream. Pretty weird one considering Fabianski played as a striker. I mean really goalkeeper as a striker? But dreams do get weird at times. So I switched on the TV to get the latest news and preview on the match as the game was still an hour odd away. But what I saw just blew me over :

“Lucas Fabianski, Arsenal’s goalkeeper turned striker is surely making a huge impact on the field. The Polish goalkeeper who was brought to Arsenal in 2007, has played many-a-games safe-guarding the Gunners’ goal and despite being called Mr. Butter-fingers for letting in a few easy goals, Fabianski never lost hope. And now he has been awarded with a new contract, making him one of the club’s main strikers.” I heard the news reporter say…

The Football Pundit accompanying him quipped, “With Wojciech Szczesny being brought on, expectantly, Fabianski’s role reduced. Arsene Wenger didn’t want to sell him off as he served as a resourceful back-up when Szczesny was out injured. And a good thing he didn’t! Players like Lucas have often been left on the bench and to help them grow, and boy, has he grown! But albeit into a striker.”

Earlier that day: Wenger sat down with the board members.

“I think we must offer Lucas Crapianski a new deal. He’s been a very co-operative team mate and is always around whenever we need him. If the rest of you agree, I shall call him this evening and give the papers to sign.”

Naturally, the board members agreed – it’s always easier than signing a new player anyway!

“You called for me Boss?”

“Aah, yes! Crapianski, err, I mean, Fabianski. Come in my boy. I’ve some good news for!”

“Good? How good? Like you’re sending me out on loan or are you giving me money to leave?!”

“No no. We’ve got a new deal to offer you. In fact, we’re offering you a new contract. You know how bad injuries are at the moment and how we’re always short on players. Hence, we’ve decided to offer you a contract as a striker at the club.”

“Striker?! (Baffled look) Are you sure Boss? That this is my contract and you haven’t gotten me mixed up for Arshavin?”

“Not one bit! So would you like to play for Arsenal as a striker?”

“Hell yeah! Score a few goals, bash up players who scored against me.”

“Good. Your first game is tomorrow against Manchester City. See you at the grove.”

“Super! Bring on Mr. Nasri. Can’t wait to see his face when he sees me there! Bwahahahahaha!”

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Big Match Day – Arsenal vs. Manchester United

Starting Line-ups – Arsenal – Szczesny, Djourou, Mertesacker, Koscielny, Vermaelen, Ramsey, Song, Arteta, Fabianski, Van Persie, Henry

Manchester United – Lindegaard, Smalling, Jones, Evans, Evra, Valencia, Carrick, Giggs, Nani, Rooney, Scholes

I still could not believe Fabianski was lining up with RvP and Henry!

All eyes were on Lucas Fabianski to see if he could beat the United defense and score for the Gunners. He’s apparently been in top form this season and already had 17 goals to his name in the reserve league, making him the top-scorer in the reserves. (How the hell did we miss that?)

If Arsenal could win this match today, they would go fifth on the League table, only 2 points behind Chelsea and would be a serious contender for the coveted Champions league spot.

Can Arsenal win? Will Crapianski prove to everyone that he is indeed, not crap? (yeah…even after scoring 17 goals for reserves, we doubt that!) Will Sir Alex Ferguson’s experienced men lose to Arsene Wenger’s youngsters?

Kick-off

The players of each side look terrifying. It’s a do or die match for both of them, however we all know who’s got a point to prove!

Szczesny looking alert in his goal – Valencia passes the ball to Giggs who goes forward with it passing it to Rooney who can score an easy one, but wait! Why has he stopped? Everyone stops to see Thierry Henry and Paul Scholes chatting away in the centre of the field.

Scholes – “It’s been so long that I haven’t seen your face.”

Henry – “Tryna be strong, but the strength I have is washing away.”

Scholes – “It won’t be long, before I score a goal”

Henry – “But I’ll hold you, squeeze you and won’t let you go through me!!”

*Both men grin at each other*

Well, it’s nice to see this friendship, but not in the middle of the game! Okay, back to the game.

Rooney missed that chance and while everyone was busy staring at the two legends, Fabianski took advantage of the moment and headed towards United’s goal. Unfortunately for him, Lindegaard was present and the two of them began blocking each other. Did Lucas forget he’s supposed to be scoring?

Lindegaard – “Mate, how’d you play so farking well? Seen ya in the goal…awesome!”

Lucas – “It’s all about making the right moves, my boy. You’ll learn with time :D”

And in the very next moment something unimaginable happened. FABIANSKI SCORED!!!!! Lindegaard was left with his mouth gaping while Arsenal celebrated their hero’s goal against Manchester United.

Back in the Dressing room during half-time –

Sir Alex Ferguson, “Boys, what is happening out there? Scholes, you’re talking to Henry, really? And…and…cough cough cough…blaahh..splatter”

“Shitz, he iz choking on hiz chewing gum! Get a doctor!! Or maybe not..” – Some one said from outside the United dressing room and disappeared. No guesses as to who said that ;)

Second half kicks-off.

An early goal by Fabianski in the first half has given Arsenal the edge over United. Can they maintain their lead? Or will United bounce back?

Suddenly there’s a noise on the pitch and Mertesacker and Koscielny are arguing.

Pick me…no.. Pick me !!

Kosh – “I’m a better partner for Vermaelen. Keep your eyes off him!”

Mert – “Nope! VermaSacker! Remember? I am the big name!”

And obviously taking advantage of this Rooney scores. Szczesny raises his arms in despair, but there’s no one listening to him, as usual!

No more fiascos and the game enters the final 3 minutes of stoppage time. The score reads as Arsenal 1 – 1 Manchester United.

Lucas Fabianski decides it’s his time to be the man of the moment. After his goal, he has tried getting close but the Smalling-Jones duo has done a good job of keeping him out.

Last minute of the game

Arteta passes to Wilshere who then passes it to Fabianski who’s in the box who dribbles it and shoots – GGOOOAAAAALL!!! Fabianski scores the winner for Arsenal. The young striker looks to be on fire and Arsenal have beaten Manchester United with an absolute stunner !! (deja vu?)

ARSENAL Wonnnnnnnnnnnnnn!

*Thud*

And with that I suddenly felt a Bump on the back of my head…and everything went blank. I was still rubbing the back of my head as I surveyed the surrounding with groggy eyes. And after a minute or so it started getting clear to me, I HAD FALLEN ASLEEP! And the hurt at the back of my head was merely from me falling down from the sofa, where I had apparently dozed off while reading the book!!

I checked at the watch and it was just 5 mins from Kick Off. I quickly scrambled up and switched on the channel only to see the players from both teams lining up for the KO. (And no, there was No Fabianski in the Lineup… not even as a striker!)

To my relief everything was normal, and here we were minutes away from kick off to one of the most awaited matches of the season, but I just could not get the dream out of my head.

Fabianski as a striker? Is that possible?

Can he really be that good and that prolific?

We might never know.

Just then the cam zoomed in on the Arsenal bench and there was Lucas Fabianski, sitting in the dugout with a sly grin on his face, which almost felt as if he knows. As if he knew what my dream had been and maybe he knew what he could do if played as a striker..who knows?! :D

Disclaimer: This post is a work of fiction and is completely fun intended.