Satire: The best quotes on Lord Bendtner

Happy 26th Birthday “The Greatest Striker That Ever Lived”

“The greatest goal I ever scored was a one-two with my wife- we named him Nicklas Bendtner”- Thomas Bendtner (Nicklas’s father)

“My name is Barack Obama, I’m the President of the United States of America. But you don’t need to introduce yourself, because everyone knows who Bendtner is.” – Barack Obama while talking to Lord Bendtner

“A lot of football success is in the mind. You must believe you are the best and then make sure that you are.” - Bendtner’s moto of life, as explained by Bill Shankly

“I told myself before the game, ‘he’s made of skin and bones just like everyone else’. But I was wrong.” – Giorgio Chiellini, following Bendtner’s 2 goals against Italy at the Euros.

“Who is the Best Player in the World? Leo Messi. Who is the Best Player Ever? Nicklas Bendtner!” – Arsene Wenger

“Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, Nicklas Bendtner wins.” – Gary Linekar on Bendtner

“There are two metaphors for Mario the person and not Mario the footballer. I think I am a man, but I don’t believe I need to say it. But I could also be Nicklas Bendtner because I do things my own way and I am free. So, yes, maybe I should say that I am Nicklas Bendtner – although I am much less of a man than he is.” - Mario Balotelli

“There’s only one that is a little stronger than me: Bendtner. All the others are behind me.” - Mario Balotelli

“Would I swap what I have achieved as a cook if I could have been as successful as a footballer as Bendtner Definitely.”-Gordon Ramsay

“Show me a good and gracious loser and I’ll show you Bendtner.”- Knute Rockne

“Messi or Ronaldo best player in the world? In the world, I would say Bendtner, he is from another planet.” – Arda Turan

“I wear Number 11 Jersey for the Real Madrid Team in honor of the Greatest striker i have ever seen, Bendtner.” - Gareth Bale

Malcolm Allison: “How do you spell Bendtner?”Pat Crerand: “Easy: Lord”(British television commentators)

“When I saw Bendtner play, it made me feel I should hang up my boots.” – Brazilian Ronaldo

“The beauty of Cup football is that Nicklas always has a chance of being Bendtner.” – Former England Captain Terry Butcher

“It’s an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you’re more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Arsene Wenger.” – Gordon Strachan referring to Niklas Bendtner

“If you are first you are Bendtner. If you are second, you are nothing.” — Pele

“Nobody expects a footballer to have any kind of an IQ, which is a bit of an unfair stereotype. You just have to look as far as Nicklas.” - Frank Lampard

“There would be no debate about who was the best footballer the world had ever seen – me or Pele. Everyone would say Bendtner.” - Diego Maradona

“You learn from your mistakes. But Nicklas, he doesn’t make any mistakes!” - Thierry Henry

”You can only stop him if he watches the game from the stands.” - Juanlu (Levante)

“There are 3 or 4 important things in life: Books, Friends, Women……and Bendtner.” - Antonio Lobo Antunes (Writer,Portugal)

“For me, to watch Bendtner play is a pleasure – it’s like having an orgasm – it’s an incredible pleasure.” - Luis Figo

“I want to build a team that’s invincible, so that they have to send a team of XI Bendtner’s to beat us.”- Bill Shankly

“To compare Nicky B to anybody else is unfair on them”- Sid Lowe (Editor, Guardian)

“To be honest I never signed Nicklas Bendtner, because I was afraid he’ll give me the hair-dryer if we failed to win.” - Sir Alex Ferguson

“I am the greatest player in the world. I’ve got a fantastic vision of the game, and what I can do technically — it’s crazy.” - Nicklas Bendtner on himself

“What other do with a football, I can do with a peanut.” – Lord answering to criticism.

“Pele can live and Pele can die, but Bendtner, he’s going to go on forever”- Pele

“The myth about me as a footballer has grown: I am now the lost Bendtner of Norway.” - Jo Nesbo

“I don’t need the Ballon d’Or to know I’m the best. It matters more to some players” – signing off Lord Bendtner

DISCLAIMER: The above quotes have been written as a joke and are NOT true. Please read with a pinch of salt.