Manchester United 4-0 Everton (Valencia 4', Mkhitaryan 84', Lukaku 89', Martial 92')
Manchester United started the game like a house on fire - Valencia's opener was certainly a thunderbolt of the highest order - before slowing the game to a pedestrian pace by the second half (a couple of glaring misses illuminating the game along the way)... before picking pace up in the last ten minutes and hammering Everton with three goals in the space of eight minutes from Henrikh Mkhitaryan, Romelu Lukaku and Anthony Martial.
Here's Valencia's screamer from a unique angle:
Only alphabetical order separates the two Manchester sides on top of the Premier League... and here's what we learned from the match:
#1. Henrikh Mkhitaryan is arguably the most frustrating player out there
For the sheer quality that he possesses, the Armenian can be incredibly frustrating at times with his lackadaisical approach to the game. He is the best playmaker in the squad and has rightly edged out Juan Mata to the no.10 side but his tendency to flit in and out of games can be annoying to watch.
His goal showed just how good he can be... passing it into the back of the net; that takes him to 6 goals involved in (5 assists, 1 goal) - the most of any United player this season and more than he had in the whole of last season... but an increase in consistently good decision-making could finally see him be talked about in the same breath as those masters from across the town, David Silva and Kevin de Bruyne.
P.S. Romelu Lukaku has well and truly become a Red Devil:
#2. Wayne Rooney's mixed performance epitomises his current struggles
Oh, Wayne.
The highest scorer in Manchester United's history was given a lovely reception from his old congregation and was serenaded in full voice by a packed Old Trafford when he was taken off, but in the 83 minutes or so that he was on the pitch he showed just why United were right to let him go.
Koeman's decision to play him at no.9 backfired horribly as this performance provided further proof, if any was required, that the great man simply doesn't have it anymore to play the striker role!
His tenacity and determination still allowed him to show his incredible ability - but it all came in fleeting glimpses and that's just too little for a team of Everton's ambitions.
His best position is deeper down, but that also happens to be Gylfi Sigurdsson's and Davy Klassen's (why isn't he starting!) best positions... Koeman has a tough call to make; but like Mourinho did the last season, it may just be time to ease the great man into a super-sub role.
#3. Manchester United regain two of Fergie-era sides' greatest qualities
Winning Ugly. Scoring bucket-loads of goals in the closing stages of a game that they were struggling in...
If you had to pick two qualities that would define Sir Alex Ferguson's greatest sides it would be these two - and Mourinho's men have shown early on this season that they are capable of channeling those qualities in equal measure.
For the first 40 odd minutes of the second half, it looked like United had simply stopped playing - their passing as abysmal as their opponents, their attacking threat even duller - before the attacking unit put on a power-show of a finish to seal things late on.
Yesterday Liverpool played ugly and came out with just a draw, while both City (think about the Bournemouth game) and United have shown just how important it is that 3 points be racked up regardless of how well the team plays on the day.
United have a lot of improving to do - make no mistake - but they can't really complain about the results, can they?
#4. Everton's abysmal gameplan, and execution, drop them into the relegation zone.
Ronald Koeman's men came into the game with a plan to stifle United and failed within four minutes of the opening whistle. Sure it was down to one of those unstoppable moments of magic a certain breed of right-backs conjure up now and again, but in the opening ten-fifteen minutes, they could have gone 3-0 down and not had a reason to call it an unfair result.
They tried passing out of the back with three centre-backs distinctly uncomfortable with the thought (and with the thought of playing in a back three) and were miserably absent in the middle of the field - Morgan Schneiderlin's only contribution to the game was the penalty he gave away, while it took the manager subbing him out to realise that Idrissa Gueye was on the pitch.
With Rooney up top and Sigurdsson and Davies in support, the Toffees were left with an attack that had a combined top speed of 6 km/h.
Sandro's introduction - combined with Rooney dropping deeper - made Everton a distinctly better side and Koeman needs to find a way to incorporate his new signings into a system that actually works.
For a team that cost as much to assemble as Bayern Munich, 18th place after 5 games is simply not good enough.
#5. Anthony Martial and Marcus Rashford continue their "you play first - I score later" routine
This one is absolute gold:
This season Martial has played 131 minutes of Premier League football and come out with a return of 3 goals and 1 assist. Each of the games he came on a sub saw Rashford play from the start and iffy decision making or not - there needs to be a discussion to be had regarding that, but he's a young lad and on a constant upward learning curve - he runs his fullbacks, and centre-backs, ragged allowing Martial to come in and utterly terrorise them.
The one game Martial started in his stead, Rashford came on... and scored.
While there will be a lot of moaning and whining regarding Mourinho's unwillingness to play the two of them together; the manager has found a way to get the best out of them - for the team, and in the end isn't that what matters most?