Of dives and a diver - Ashley Young

Ashley Young

The 28 year old Manchester United wide-man Ashley Young gets candid with our reporter. She caught up with him at the Carrington training ground. Excerpts from the interview:

Q. What would you like to say on United’s victory over Arsenal?It was a great win for the lads. They won it without me which was incredible. I had starred in that 8-2 victory few seasons back. Do you remember my goals? Do you remember?

Our reporter noticing Young’s face contorting and his eyes almost going teary answered with a polite “yes”.

Q.How do you deal with the controversy surrounding your diving antics?

Ashley got his hands together and a sudden calm came over his face. In a contemplative tone he answered:

You know it’s just a perspective. Do you know how hard it is to dribble past the players keeping your balance? Although being light-weight, I always give my best but somehow gravity gets me down. People call it a dive, but how can I go against the force of nature? The only people who understand my sincere efforts are the referees who almost always sympathize with me.

Q. In his recent autobiography Sir Alex claimed that he had put a stop to your diving acts. But it’s evident that you are still doing it. What would you say to that?You know I was bought for an undisclosed fee. The old gaffer told me that if I continue to fall-down like that, the media will make a story out of the undisclosed fee, stating that the invaluable benefits which I bring through my gravity-induced falls can’t be expressed in monetary terms. He did not want such a story to be circling around. Now he is gone so I can go back to my natural instincts.

Q. Are you concerned that you might be sold in January?No, not really. It’s something beyond me. If it happens I know I will be missed in unusual ways and the club that acquires me will be privileged to have a player of my ability and potential. It might be another transfer with undisclosed fee (chuckled).

Q. Ashley, on account of your recent performances,are you aware how popular you have become on YouTube and the various social-networking sites?With a sense of pride Young made his statement:I have always been humble and will continue to be so. Playing for a club like Manchester United gives you the ultimate platform to showcase your talents to a world-wide audience and I am really pleased.

(Note: This is a work of fiction and should not in any way be construed as real)