If you’ve missed any of Simon’s story, you can catch up with Part 1 here and Part 2 here.
Inspired by the work of Iain Macintosh, and with far too much time on his hands, Simon Furnivall has ventured back into the world of Football Manager-based storytelling. A self-inflicted spell in hospital and a team with only a tenth of the talent of Emile Heskey, what horrors await in Part III of this morbid tale?
“No, I think I should be sacked on the spot. In fact, hear those footsteps? I’d wager money that’s the chairman coming along to do it now on live TV.”
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“It’s a fair question, you have now lost seven games on the bounce.”
“And today we lost 5-1. Any more obvious facts you’d like to regale us with?” I took his silence to mean that the interview was over and stormed off back to the changing rooms. My reaction had, undoubtedly, bee borne out of fear, the acne-ridden work-experience wonk had only been asking the question I’d expected to face after such a run.
What I preferred to concentrate on, rather than the no points, the cup exit and the 24 goals conceded in those seven games since we had beaten Newtown, was the fact that we had scored seven goals in those games. Only against Airbus at the start of the run had we failed to strike, and even though we were 5-0 down with just three minutes to play against Camarthen, Shaun Kelly had still had enough about him to plant his vacant head on a cross and bag us a consolation. It is the little things in life to which one has to cling.
***
“That is quite possibly the best goal I’ve ever seen.”
“I wouldn’t quite go that far.”
“Come on, if Messi had laid that on for Villa, Sky would repeat it for weeks.”
“Did you just compare Robert Evans and Chris Gethin to Messi and Villa?”
“Might have. Was a good goal, anyway.” And it was. Evans’ pass to Gethin had been perfectly weighted, adjusted for mud levels and played into the path of the striker, who rounded Bangor City’s Chris Oldfield and slotted home. But better was yet to come and my love for Evans had not hit its height.
“Did you see that?”
“I’m stood right next to you.” Steve was taking me a tad too literally.
“But did you see it, talk about pin-fucking-point. Two bloody nil.” Evans was once again the architect, flying down the right wing and swinging in a cross which just had to be tucked away. For once such a delivery actually was. Mike Thompson, making his first appearance of the season, rose above the Bangor defence and headed in. Fifteen minutes left and a two goal cushion. Heaven.
A third was added in injury time, and not only had we kept a first clean sheet of the season and claimed three vital points, but Airbus’ 2-0 defeat against Port Talbot meant that we had climbed off the foot of the table. Clearly midweek games suited us. I hurried back to my office to draft a latter to the FAW requesting that all future games be moved to Wednesday nights; it was the key to our future success.
***
Unfortunately my request had not been answered in time to prevent us having to play the following Saturday afternoon. The Welsh Cup had seen us drawn against Mid Wales League Division 1 side Llanidloes Town in the third round, and I had to check with the chairman that it was actually a proper place before we set off on the coach journey.
Turns out is was a real place and they even had a ground with a little stand and lots of pretty trees lining the perimeter. For once, buoyed by the mid-week win over Bangor, I was actually more interested in what was happening on the pitch than worrying about how long I had left in the job, though that feeling didn’t last long past Gethin tearing his hamstring in the ninth minute.
I was soon picked up by the majesty of Evans though, the winger having a hand in both our first two goals and then playing another Messi-esque pass into the path of Josh Macauley, who for once in his chuffing life actually hit the target and grabbed a goal. Kelly gave Llandiddlywhats a lifeline with a quite spectacular own goal, but a Paul Ennis volley late on ensured a second win on the bounce and joy unconfined. I ordered the bus to stop at the nearest off license on the way home and loaded up for a very long and enjoyable night.
