Robin van Persie

Robin Van Persie is undoubtedly one of the most talked about transfers this season, gaining the overhyped trending spot on Twitter for quite some time as well. Which also contributes to the reason why I didn’t have to come up with a fancy title, as his name does a pretty good job of drawing attention to itself. Almost every fan has an opinion on the separation of the captain from his former club Arsenal.

There are three kinds of heartbreaks,

a) when you break someone’s heartb) when someone breaks yours (these two are highly insignificant unless you’re Kim Kardashian, or someone on the same social level and people are genuinely affected by your relationship status)c) when someone does something that you’d never expect them to, that monumentally affects a lot more people than intended.

I think it was pretty selfish of him to disregard the millions of Gunner hearts all over the world and stomp them in a go. Gunners are known for their indestructible spirit and faith, and instances like these pose as challenges that might just make or break their patience. This is neither an attempt at criticism or defence at his actions, but like most failed relationships, it is an attempt at closure. Something that I never really got when he left.

Let me begin by saying how words are so underrated, and you can’t really rely on them anymore. Towards the end of his first four-year contract with Arsenal, RVP stated that his heart belonged to Arsenal and he couldn’t picture himself in a different shirt. Well, not only is he wearing one, but there seem to be plenty of photographs of him in them showing absolutely no discomfort. Forgive me if I think that he doesn’t possess a throbbing organ, well the other one. And don’t even get me started on the ‘little boy’ comment, which was graciously trolled with pictures of him wearing an Arsenal jersey as a kid. Plus, whoever was in charge of his Twitter account did a wonderful job of erasing the existence of his love for his wife and children. And you raise your eyebrows when I claim he’s heartless.

Personally, I think he needed a good publicist more than a club. And if you think he went a little soft in the head prior to his decision to move, think again. He couldn’t withstand the ball volleyed on his skull by Williams. It was apparently hit with a force of a double canister and marked as an attempt to kill by his overbearing gum-chewing manager. I started this article with an aim to be impartial and fair, but I realized I just can’t be the bigger person in this situation. I, like most girls, cannot take heartbreak lightly, and since he’s not in the perfect proximity one needs to set fire to someone, I’m going to fuel my anger by highlighting the Fatman and Robin pun too.

Wikipedia had a brief troll stint where Ashley Williams‘ page stated that he made history by pelting a ball into the back of RVP’s head, who then proceeded to try and attack Ashley, making himself look twice as stupid, and causing a statue of Ashley to be constructed outside the Emirates Stadium later. I think this screenshot beat watching the incident in slow motion on YouTube. The only positives I can look at from him leaving is that we probably have players who’d not pull a van Persie on us later, but then again who knows. One can never get too comfortable with shining Arsenal players. Also, I can talk about my newly discovered love for magnetic darts to the list, and how they manage to land square on his face on the poster in my room whenever I’m aggravated. Let me add that I lost heart halfway through the article, and I seriously considered writing tea a bunch of times to get past the required word limit, but that would be me avoiding dealing with my issues yet again, so I decided to go all the way for once and for all.

I feel like a pained parent who has their offspring leave after they’ve done so much for them, which I agree is the natural progression of things. But when it happens at a time when you need them the most, it blows. Sometimes you have to be unselfish, in life or in football. Helping a Spurs supporter mind the gap at the Tube or passing the ball to a teammate when you have a clear shot at a goal because he needs it more. But maybe glory seeking and basking in the warmth of a trophy with his back against everyone else instead of coming back home and feeling loved and appreciated is what his little boy wanted to end up becoming at the end of the day.