David Moyes publishes autobiography about life at Old Trafford

David Moyes has been trying to replicate Sir Alex Ferguson on all grounds and recently when the legendary manager published a new autobiography highlighting his time at Old Trafford, Moyes wasted no time in publishing his own one page autobiography saying about his four month stay at the club and this is what the Scot said in his new book.

Following the footsteps

When I joined United I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to succeed because of two reasons, one; I wasn’t as big as Sir Alex Ferguson and second Howard Webb refused to work under me. But without the help of Webb I’ve managed to match the expectations of the board. It’s been a successful four months at the club because finally I could get Everton above Manchester United and even managed to sign Cesc Fabregas, Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale in FIFA.

The contract clearly said that the team should avoid relegation and keep Wayne Rooney at all cost and it might be early to say, but I have propelled the team to perform above expectations and sit in the 9^th place so far. Even if we end up in the Championship next season, all I would need is another 15-20 world class players like Marouane Fellaini and my experience in the lower league to get the team back in five seasons. And as far as Rooney is concerned, I demanded a hand written transfer request, which forced him to stay.

Though the fans say that the team needs to send me out on loan for a season, I believe that I deserve this job, not only because of the blank CV I possess but because I’m from Scotland and if the fans don’t remember Sir Alex Ferguson was also from Scotland, which makes me the best manager the club could find. I’ve also done something that Sir Alex could not do, agreeing a new sponsorship deal with Apple, in which they will make phones long enough to see us in the Premier League table. And while the United faithful is yet to realize my value, the fans of Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester City have seen what I can do and supports me to the core, making me sure that I won’t be jobless if I resign from here.

And for the squad, the return of Darren Fletcher will be a great boost as he could replace David De Gea in the goal. Wilfried Zaha has been the most disappointing of the lot since he could only manage to play with my daughter and that too only for 69 minutes. Maybe I should loan out Robin Van Persie to Everton and give more chances to Adnan Januzaj because the boy without any country is definetly performing better than someone who is the all-time top scorer for his nation. And most importantly I should get Webb back in the dressing room if I have to successfully avoid relegation.

The four months also had its fair share of disappointments with the most notable being the failure to find Sir. Alex’s chewing gum in the Old Trafford pitch, till that is found I have to adjust with the one I found under his chair. Another would be the breakdown of his watch which was supposed to give me five extra minutes in every game. To add salt to the wound Paul Scholes and George Best refused to come back and play for me.

It’s been a roller-coaster ride so far at the club, but as far as there are tactics in the Football Manager Forums in Internet, superstars like Fellaini in the world and six years in my contract, I’m confident that I can keep United off the relegation zone.

(Note: This is a work of fiction by the writer and should not be construed as actual news)