Satire: Fantasy football tips

Given below is free advice on how to win any fantasy football competition (be grateful):

1) Sign up for the competition.

2) Put a really cool team name in.

3) Put hours of deliberations, and finally come to a decision on the ultimate team.

4) Daydream about how to make use of the winnings you will get from the competition.

5) Realize your team is shit and it needs some major transformations.

6) Fail to remember about the free transfer window until there is 90 minutes left for it to close.

7) Curse at traffic lights in the rush to reach home.

8) In the meantime, do all the research on a variety of players via your Smartphone.

9) Prelude your first transfer with “To hell with all this, I will just pick ….”

10) Just get some food after feeling hungry due to overusage of the brain.

11) Panic after the player you had is transferred to another league.

12) Just come out with a big name.

13) Be informed that that player has already been transferred to Barcelona.

14) Get laughed at.

15) Just pick a player from your favourite team.

16) Feel like you picked an unbeatable team.

17) Eat heavily until the first week is over.

18) See your cool team in the rock bottom of the standings.

19) Start drinking.

20) Curse everyone on facebook.

21) See room spin.

22) Feel time fly.

23) Wake up next morning and be horrified at what you said on facebook.

24) Finally, accept that this season is already over.

25) Make preparations for next season.

26) Daydream about how to make use of the winnings you will get from the competition next season.