February 5, 2016
Oh, yeah, it is my birthday. Usually, I stay very busy today, so I will keep it short. Today has to be one of my worst birthdays ever. I woke up alone with no-one sleeping beside me. My son comes to me and says, “daddy, daddy, do you have Neymar’s number?”
I asked him why and he said that he wanted to wish him a happy birthday. I was devastated. My son hadn’t wished me a happy birthday but wanted to do so to Neymar. I can’t believe that God conspired against me by sending Neymar to this world on the same day he sent me.
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But well, I checked my mentions as well as Neymar’s and I got more wishes than him, so it is all good now.
Today, I am throwing a mini-party. People say that me throwing a party after losing a game last season was the beginning of the downfall of Real Madrid. Since we are already in somewhat of a mess this season, here’s hoping that this becomes the beginning of an upward slope.
I have invited both Messi and Neymar to my birthday party in an attempt to feed them stuff, eventually food poisoning them. Also, this will give me an advantage in the Pichichi race. I am doing the same against Karim Benzema, too.
February 6, 2016
I am too hungover on Red Bulls (from last night) to write a long entry. The party was a bang. I got many gifts from my pals, but the best one was Gareth’s present: he gifted me an entire set of hair gels that will last for quite some time.
Just in case, you were wondering, which I am sure you are, Lionel Messi and Neymar couldn’t make it to my party. Apparently, Messi became so drunk at Neymar’s birthday party that Xavi had to fly in from Qatar to carry him out of there and assist him to his home safely.
I was also informed that Neymar wanted to make a short appearance in my party, but Luis Enrique didn’t allow him for he feared that Perez might just kidnap him and sign him to play for Real Madrid. Well, Luis, you did the right thing, I hadn’t thought of it myself.
Finally, Benzema came to the party but didn’t eat the food I had my maid prepare for him. He was acting really weird, he was trying to hook up our team-mates with the girl he brought with him and had a video camera in his hand.
