The seven stages of relegation for a Newcastle supporter

4) Guilt

Even the ground won’t open up for Townsend

Everton 3 - 0 Newcastle United (Wednesday 3/2/2016)

Another capitulation. Maybe it's me. Maybe I'm the jinx. I've been listening to the match commentary on that old radio I bought at a car boot sale in Sunderland. And these 'lucky' underpants I wear every match day are clearly not working.

That's it; It's been my fault all along. Begone, you blighted boxers. Take a hike, you treacherous transmitter. I feel cleansed.

Relegation? Now that the hex is lifted, I think we might pull clear of danger.